here and now
I have just sliped into a lil pool of depression now. I do not know why. I actually do know why though. It seems as though i see everyone of my friends grow up and move on in their life. I know i haven't been a good friend and i've been horrible but i've tried to be there for people. I honestly have and i've tried to be good exspecially lately. I just want to put everything out there for everyone. i just wish i could explain and have people understand what is going on. I just wish i could be there with and strive with them. I feel like i am slipping back into my depression some. I am happy with everything that i am doing right now but it seems as though i could be doing so much more and i should be doing so much more. I don't know. it seems as if my life and its choices have failed in the eyes of others. Exspecially my friends i think. I just wish there was just one of my old friends to be there and saying come on man you can make it. I mean there was and i failed but i want to succeede now and it seems as if no one is here. I mean i have my gf and my family and everything. I have my friends from work and some of her friends. but i mean... what happens when i need someone i can confide in i mean my gfi can always confide in her but i mean what friends can i honestly confide in anymore. I just wish there was someone i could really talk to about everything nad have them understand and offer their advice. It seems as if all my old friends are gone i mean sure we have grown up but where am i. I am sitting in nuetral not going anywhere. I want to go somewhere with my life i want to go and fullfill something i want to be proud of me again. i just wish there was something i dunno i just miss some of my old friends and i just wish i could hang out with them again.