Week 5 - Afterthought
It’s youth and foolishness and him being my first love and the only thing I can think of sometimes.
It’s him standing up for me when the others are being vicious behind my back - and in front of it - and it’s all I can do not to sob; it’s all I can do not to sniffle in class and only silently let the tears run down my face. He tells them to knock it off, and since it’s him, they comply, even as I know they’ll only hate me more for him defending me.
It’s catching him after school kissing her and having my heart break and not saying anything about it to him, because what good would that do? It would drive away my defender and my friend and the only person who has ever seen me for anything, and even though he was kissing her and - oh how I wish it were me.
It’s an invite to a party that he’s going to, as his friend. Not his date, no, I’m not far enough up the totem pole for that, but it’s better than nothing. It’s better than sitting there in my room, waiting for someone to talk to me, waiting for people that I’ve never seen to tell me that my life will be better.
It's his kindness. It may only be an afterthought, but it's the only thing I have.
It’s him standing up for me when the others are being vicious behind my back - and in front of it - and it’s all I can do not to sob; it’s all I can do not to sniffle in class and only silently let the tears run down my face. He tells them to knock it off, and since it’s him, they comply, even as I know they’ll only hate me more for him defending me.
It’s catching him after school kissing her and having my heart break and not saying anything about it to him, because what good would that do? It would drive away my defender and my friend and the only person who has ever seen me for anything, and even though he was kissing her and - oh how I wish it were me.
It’s an invite to a party that he’s going to, as his friend. Not his date, no, I’m not far enough up the totem pole for that, but it’s better than nothing. It’s better than sitting there in my room, waiting for someone to talk to me, waiting for people that I’ve never seen to tell me that my life will be better.
It's his kindness. It may only be an afterthought, but it's the only thing I have.