Froggy foggy toast and Jelly
4:30 this morning didn't feel as early as anticipated. Waking up I reminded myself of my intention that I'd set last night, "Eyes open, feet on the floor."
The gym opens at 5, a slow bike ride through the dark fog to avoid spraying myself from the wet road. But before that the 2 minute podcast from Mental, reflecting of the value of showing up instead of the value of the end goal. Major themes from The Gap and the Gain, mixed with The Infinite Game, but Atomic Habits is referenced as the source and inspiration, fair.
55 degrees the day after Christmas means a sweatshirt and no gloves or jacket necessary. Arrive at the gym just before 5, enough to lock up the bike and walk in as the doors unlocked. I talk to the front desk guy for a minute, asking how he is, noticing he always works the morning.
Focus on the reps, focus on the breathing. More reps instead of more weight, more volume instead of maxing out. Woof, still a challenge.
Carolyn bought me a case of Ghost for Christmas. Thoughtful and appreciated. Caffeine is always nice at the gym. Ghost always makes me feel like I can think and speak better.
On the rower cooling off I think more about identity and purpose. What if mine is to improve myself and not take things for granted, to help others do the same? More we, less me as Jane would say.
I leave the gym hot and sweaty and it's still dark and foggy. I'm warm enough that the sweatshirt isn't needed on the way home. The headphones stay in, thank goodness for them. I reflect on how nice the morning has been. I feel a tinge of guilt acknowledging how nice it was to turn on the light and not worry about being quiet so early.
Once home I take care of Andy's morning needs and hop in the shower, leaving him on the bed after a quick pep talk and clarifying expectations. Back to the Mental and a cold shower protocol. Day 14, 4 minutes hot, 30ish seconds cold. The hot goes by faster than anticipated, that's ok, still enough time to scrub, clean and condition. Turn to cold after a bit of coaching on the power of positive self talk. I needed that, I need that.
It makes sense but was still a surprise that Seals are trained from the start on the power and need for positive self talk. Cognitive behavioral therapy without the name. It's everywhere, and for good reason. Despite all the debate, I do need training on how to think.
As the cold hits I finish my breathing ramp ups and focus on relaxing. Posture, exhale, turn around. For the first time I find myself breathing normally instead of hyperventilating. It's still jerky, but more controlled than ever. I feel like a kid realizing I'm riding with the training wheels off. I was coached to notice my thoughts, The prevailing thought is I can do this! The time passes quickly and I am elated. What a start to the day. I reflect on who I want to share with and opt to text Catie.
Off to Kenwick table to meet Goose for coffee. On the way there I reflect on his friendship and my gratitude for him creating and nurturing it. At the coffee shop I talk to Oliver for a bit, We both seem grateful for it.
Goose fell back asleep. I journal here while the time passes, reflecting on a morning well spent and a day starting how I'd like it to. Dawn creeps across the sky, but a grey and dreary one, the fog still heavy. No matter.