A cast of characters
So I promised a post about some of the more notable people within our cast and I figure now is probably a good time to shed some light on a few of the eclectic bunch I am currently traveling with. Also on an irrelevant note, my posting will come a little more frequently in the next few days, and I hope that's okay too! Now, onto a couple of my colleagues...
Hayden - Probably the guy most like me on the trip. He's also a definite geek and a published author which automatically makes me take more stock in the things he says- They are generally well thought out, articulate, meaningful or just flat out hilarious. I don't get along with most other geeks but I think he's one of the rare well-adjusted ones. He is also on the unfortunately shorter list of our group whom I do not wish to strangle on a daily basis. Hayden is dating Sofia, who I will get into below.
Rachel - I don't know her very well, but I go between bouts of enjoying her company and just flat out not. When we're in a one on one situation, she's sweet, perceptive and witty but give her a group and her personality changes drastically. I'm sure everyone knows someone like that: someone who is concerned about his or her image to the point where they manifest changes in their personality to be accepted by the larger group. It's frustrating because she's selling herself short. I can't blame her or anyone else in our industry really. Circus, dancing, acting, it doesn't matter. The pressures to be accepted and to be a certain way are equally crushing from each vocation sometimes.
Sofia - Sofia is pure unfocused energy personified in the form of a five foot zero girl. Fun, sometimes overbearing but always sweet and well-meaning, I've done several tours with her before and consider her a friend. Unfortunately she's friends with Liana and I wince every single time I hear that name, but I simply extricate myself from the conversation or gathering if things seem to be heading in that direction. I don't need to be reminded or think about her anymore, I cut it out of my life for a reason. Regardless, I like Sofia a lot but we are incredibly different people and I definitely cannot be around her all the time. I admire Hayden's patience to say the least.
Byron I've already talked about in a post below, and I spent some of the day with these three hooligans as well as a few of the others.
I mentioned above about pressure in the entertainment business and throughout the day I have been battling with the most intense pressure I know, and that's the pressure I put on myself to succeed. I take everything personally and it can make me a complete ogre sometimes. In the business of entertainment as a performer, there is a perpetual stream of rejection because there are more artists than there are jobs for artists, and that is one of the most difficult things to face on a daily basis. One thing that I thought would get easier as time went on was how I dealt with people saying that no, in fact, they did not want to book my great show and watch me contort, juggle, flip, joke and bounce around on stage. Perhaps it's just me, but I've never been able to desensitize myself to the fact that someone just flat out doesn't want my show at their gig for whatever reason. I suppose it makes the victories all the greater but (and I mean this in a very humble way) I feel like I've paid my dues and it's time for a little break once and again. It's been eleven and a half very hard years, especially considering this is the only job I've ever really had.
Today, another festival said no to my show and my initial reaction was to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling for a good hour, which I'm embarrassed to say I did.
Suddenly, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to work twice as hard to get the other gigs I've been pushing for in 2009 so I saddled up in my chair, brewed a second pot of coffee and hunkered down with my laptop. Making a lengthy to do list, I told myself I couldn't leave my hotel room until I finished all the work I had scribed down on it. In the midst of my furious bounce-back, I got to thinking how bizarre it is knowing that your entire professional worth is being quantified by twenty dollars of flashy printing and a promotional DVD. I managed to complete about ninety percent of my list and I found Hayden and Sofia returning to our hotel from an early morning sightseeing jaunt, speaking with them brieftly some plans were made to head out to do a provisional shop, and we just returned from the excursion in which I served as a driver and driver alone. While Rachel and Sofia shopped, Hayden and I meandered around most of the time talking technology and vainly looking for hockey sticks.
Tonight, as I blog, I am also continuing in my struggle to fill voids left in the schedule of next year by festivals and gigs that have declined my show and I. I'm sending out dozens of emails and making many phone calls, all the while knowing that the satisfaction I derive from performing is only good if there's an audience to perform for. As I look at spreadsheet after spreadsheet of contacts, my facebook chat makes that intermittent and unmistakable "drop" noise. A friend messages me asking what I'm up to next summer and before I know it, I have a potential opportunity knocking at the door. Nothing solid, but maybe something that offers some promise. In any case, it leaves me in a better mood than being face up in my bed filled with self-pity and melancholy.
I know tomorrow will be different, that I'll wake up fresh faced and feeling motivated again to promote promote promote, but as I said, I've never dealt with rejection well or the uncertainty that stems from it.
Who knows..? Ultimately, it might be a good thing.
"Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty. I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led diffcult lives and led them well."
- Theodore Roosevelt
Hayden - Probably the guy most like me on the trip. He's also a definite geek and a published author which automatically makes me take more stock in the things he says- They are generally well thought out, articulate, meaningful or just flat out hilarious. I don't get along with most other geeks but I think he's one of the rare well-adjusted ones. He is also on the unfortunately shorter list of our group whom I do not wish to strangle on a daily basis. Hayden is dating Sofia, who I will get into below.
Rachel - I don't know her very well, but I go between bouts of enjoying her company and just flat out not. When we're in a one on one situation, she's sweet, perceptive and witty but give her a group and her personality changes drastically. I'm sure everyone knows someone like that: someone who is concerned about his or her image to the point where they manifest changes in their personality to be accepted by the larger group. It's frustrating because she's selling herself short. I can't blame her or anyone else in our industry really. Circus, dancing, acting, it doesn't matter. The pressures to be accepted and to be a certain way are equally crushing from each vocation sometimes.
Sofia - Sofia is pure unfocused energy personified in the form of a five foot zero girl. Fun, sometimes overbearing but always sweet and well-meaning, I've done several tours with her before and consider her a friend. Unfortunately she's friends with Liana and I wince every single time I hear that name, but I simply extricate myself from the conversation or gathering if things seem to be heading in that direction. I don't need to be reminded or think about her anymore, I cut it out of my life for a reason. Regardless, I like Sofia a lot but we are incredibly different people and I definitely cannot be around her all the time. I admire Hayden's patience to say the least.
Byron I've already talked about in a post below, and I spent some of the day with these three hooligans as well as a few of the others.
I mentioned above about pressure in the entertainment business and throughout the day I have been battling with the most intense pressure I know, and that's the pressure I put on myself to succeed. I take everything personally and it can make me a complete ogre sometimes. In the business of entertainment as a performer, there is a perpetual stream of rejection because there are more artists than there are jobs for artists, and that is one of the most difficult things to face on a daily basis. One thing that I thought would get easier as time went on was how I dealt with people saying that no, in fact, they did not want to book my great show and watch me contort, juggle, flip, joke and bounce around on stage. Perhaps it's just me, but I've never been able to desensitize myself to the fact that someone just flat out doesn't want my show at their gig for whatever reason. I suppose it makes the victories all the greater but (and I mean this in a very humble way) I feel like I've paid my dues and it's time for a little break once and again. It's been eleven and a half very hard years, especially considering this is the only job I've ever really had.
Today, another festival said no to my show and my initial reaction was to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling for a good hour, which I'm embarrassed to say I did.
Suddenly, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to work twice as hard to get the other gigs I've been pushing for in 2009 so I saddled up in my chair, brewed a second pot of coffee and hunkered down with my laptop. Making a lengthy to do list, I told myself I couldn't leave my hotel room until I finished all the work I had scribed down on it. In the midst of my furious bounce-back, I got to thinking how bizarre it is knowing that your entire professional worth is being quantified by twenty dollars of flashy printing and a promotional DVD. I managed to complete about ninety percent of my list and I found Hayden and Sofia returning to our hotel from an early morning sightseeing jaunt, speaking with them brieftly some plans were made to head out to do a provisional shop, and we just returned from the excursion in which I served as a driver and driver alone. While Rachel and Sofia shopped, Hayden and I meandered around most of the time talking technology and vainly looking for hockey sticks.
Tonight, as I blog, I am also continuing in my struggle to fill voids left in the schedule of next year by festivals and gigs that have declined my show and I. I'm sending out dozens of emails and making many phone calls, all the while knowing that the satisfaction I derive from performing is only good if there's an audience to perform for. As I look at spreadsheet after spreadsheet of contacts, my facebook chat makes that intermittent and unmistakable "drop" noise. A friend messages me asking what I'm up to next summer and before I know it, I have a potential opportunity knocking at the door. Nothing solid, but maybe something that offers some promise. In any case, it leaves me in a better mood than being face up in my bed filled with self-pity and melancholy.
I know tomorrow will be different, that I'll wake up fresh faced and feeling motivated again to promote promote promote, but as I said, I've never dealt with rejection well or the uncertainty that stems from it.
Who knows..? Ultimately, it might be a good thing.
"Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty. I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led diffcult lives and led them well."
- Theodore Roosevelt