you're the kind of woman that makes a man lose his brains . .
That's a line from the first song on the first album Dylan ever cut, an
awesomely sexycreepy number called "You're No Good" that I just heard
for the first time. It was so great, particularly because he was so young and
his voice so untrained that he laughs/screams his way through the song; in its
rawness it is achingly, beautifully malicious.
I quote it at the end of this entry. But ye readers shall not appreciate its
true sexycreepy essence until you hear it for yourself.
I have been thinking and writing and thinking and singing and thinking, since
the convention, and finally the jumbled threads of all the feelings and thoughts
and powerful emotion that I could not make sense of at the time has come
together into an absurd understanding, which makes absolute silly sense.
Seeing Danny, I understood then, clearly, that I still love him; and I would
always love him as long as I breathe. There will be another man to own me and
be my true love, one stronger and more direct and honest and willing--and I will
love him above all others but that doesn't change it that Danny will always own
some part of me. I understood, also, that he no longer loves me. This is quite
sad really, at least I thought so, but it is all right just the same because it
has to be. Things are what they are. They will not change. There is no use in
wishing it.
I am, in short, in that calm acceptance of both the tragic and the beautiful
which comes to those who have passed through the fire. Not crippled by grief,
mostly satisfied--just a little sweetly sad. The book--this book--is finished.
I can finally close the pages and know that the plot has played out. This last
meeting was a coda, a footnote, an epilogue of explanation, but a vital one.
Without it the notes of my silent agonized requiem would forever linger in the
corridors of my memory.
So I am ready to ride on, and I do not think I will ever take love so lightly
again. We tend not to think of love as a danger, but true love is very
powerful, a force to be reckoned with. It can be extremely damaging when
bestowed on the wrong person.
It has been a stressful week of sorts. One of my cats got run over by a car
while I was at the assembly and my parents didn't tell me until Monday. I was
pretty upset about that. Geppeta came to us when she was a kitten and the
saddest thing is that she is the mama of my other cat, Amos, and now he of
course is very very depressed and lonely and crying all the time. So it has not
been a good time. I know these things happen but it's always hard to deal with.
I'd had her for 13 years.
Sorry to not write a more cheerful entry but I'm really quite ok despite
everything. I'm working on changing some things about my job so this coming
year isn't so hellish. We'll see how it goes . . .
________________________________________________________________.
"Well, I don't know why I love you like I do . .
Nobody in the world can get along with you
You got the ways of a devil sleeping in a lion's den
I come home last night you wouldn't even let me in.
Oh sometimes you're as sweet as nobody want to be
Oh when you get the crazy notion of jumping all over me
Well, you give me the blues, I guess you're satisfied
When you give me the blues I wanna lay down and die.
After when you had no shoes on your feet, pretty mama
After when you had no food to eat
Now you're that kind of woman that just don't understand
You're taking all my money and give it to another man.
Well, you're that kind of woman makes a man lose his brains
You're that kind of woman drives me insane
Well, you give me the blues, I guess you're satisfied
You give me the blues, I wanna lay down and die."
--Dylan
I wanna be that kind of woman,
that drives a man insane.
awesomely sexycreepy number called "You're No Good" that I just heard
for the first time. It was so great, particularly because he was so young and
his voice so untrained that he laughs/screams his way through the song; in its
rawness it is achingly, beautifully malicious.
I quote it at the end of this entry. But ye readers shall not appreciate its
true sexycreepy essence until you hear it for yourself.
I have been thinking and writing and thinking and singing and thinking, since
the convention, and finally the jumbled threads of all the feelings and thoughts
and powerful emotion that I could not make sense of at the time has come
together into an absurd understanding, which makes absolute silly sense.
Seeing Danny, I understood then, clearly, that I still love him; and I would
always love him as long as I breathe. There will be another man to own me and
be my true love, one stronger and more direct and honest and willing--and I will
love him above all others but that doesn't change it that Danny will always own
some part of me. I understood, also, that he no longer loves me. This is quite
sad really, at least I thought so, but it is all right just the same because it
has to be. Things are what they are. They will not change. There is no use in
wishing it.
I am, in short, in that calm acceptance of both the tragic and the beautiful
which comes to those who have passed through the fire. Not crippled by grief,
mostly satisfied--just a little sweetly sad. The book--this book--is finished.
I can finally close the pages and know that the plot has played out. This last
meeting was a coda, a footnote, an epilogue of explanation, but a vital one.
Without it the notes of my silent agonized requiem would forever linger in the
corridors of my memory.
So I am ready to ride on, and I do not think I will ever take love so lightly
again. We tend not to think of love as a danger, but true love is very
powerful, a force to be reckoned with. It can be extremely damaging when
bestowed on the wrong person.
It has been a stressful week of sorts. One of my cats got run over by a car
while I was at the assembly and my parents didn't tell me until Monday. I was
pretty upset about that. Geppeta came to us when she was a kitten and the
saddest thing is that she is the mama of my other cat, Amos, and now he of
course is very very depressed and lonely and crying all the time. So it has not
been a good time. I know these things happen but it's always hard to deal with.
I'd had her for 13 years.
Sorry to not write a more cheerful entry but I'm really quite ok despite
everything. I'm working on changing some things about my job so this coming
year isn't so hellish. We'll see how it goes . . .
________________________________________________________________.
"Well, I don't know why I love you like I do . .
Nobody in the world can get along with you
You got the ways of a devil sleeping in a lion's den
I come home last night you wouldn't even let me in.
Oh sometimes you're as sweet as nobody want to be
Oh when you get the crazy notion of jumping all over me
Well, you give me the blues, I guess you're satisfied
When you give me the blues I wanna lay down and die.
After when you had no shoes on your feet, pretty mama
After when you had no food to eat
Now you're that kind of woman that just don't understand
You're taking all my money and give it to another man.
Well, you're that kind of woman makes a man lose his brains
You're that kind of woman drives me insane
Well, you give me the blues, I guess you're satisfied
You give me the blues, I wanna lay down and die."
--Dylan
I wanna be that kind of woman,
that drives a man insane.