you where always on my mind.....
So what are morals? why the hell should we do the things we do, and better yet why should we consider them good or bad? i mean no one really knows the point of existance, yet people assume that it has something to do with being good. I agree with that, but i don't know why. I've had a lot of doubts lately. Doubting existance, doubting friendship, doubting quality, doubting truths that i have come to know.
I am the person that i have become, and i feel like this person is still just the day dream of some little kid playing in the grass while his mother works in the garden. listening to joni mitchel, and the sound of wind through the trees, and birds in the air. It's not like i feel like i don't belong where i am, i'm just confused and frustraited at why i feel like i belong where i am. I miss home, and i miss my old life. I miss being so blissfully unaware of things, and yet so concious of all the possiblities of who i could become.
I'm soon to be twenty. I don't know why, but i feel like that is such a milestone. I'm doing good for twenty. i've done alot and have so much to look forward to. I haven't fucked up much, and i've made so many wonderful friends along the way. I think i'm hated by a very few, and liked by many. However thier still is this itching feeling in the back of my head, not that i could have done more, but that i could have done diffrently. Again this isn't regret, i think i'm in the perfect place, but....i don't know...those possiblities have gotten less.
Anyways, thats whats been on my mind lately, in case anybody wanted an update from gus.
I am the person that i have become, and i feel like this person is still just the day dream of some little kid playing in the grass while his mother works in the garden. listening to joni mitchel, and the sound of wind through the trees, and birds in the air. It's not like i feel like i don't belong where i am, i'm just confused and frustraited at why i feel like i belong where i am. I miss home, and i miss my old life. I miss being so blissfully unaware of things, and yet so concious of all the possiblities of who i could become.
I'm soon to be twenty. I don't know why, but i feel like that is such a milestone. I'm doing good for twenty. i've done alot and have so much to look forward to. I haven't fucked up much, and i've made so many wonderful friends along the way. I think i'm hated by a very few, and liked by many. However thier still is this itching feeling in the back of my head, not that i could have done more, but that i could have done diffrently. Again this isn't regret, i think i'm in the perfect place, but....i don't know...those possiblities have gotten less.
Anyways, thats whats been on my mind lately, in case anybody wanted an update from gus.