You will get stabbed, or, Depression
I really don't want to audition, and then be stabbed and have my guitar stolen. Also, I really don't want to deal with the next chapter in my math book. Advanced integration techniques gives me a boner, sequences gives me indigestion.
-later-
I don't know what to do. No, I do, I am just too afraid to do it. My fear blurs my cognitive sense of reality into a shell-shocked panic. When I muster my courage, I can see clearly, but it's more like tunnel vision. I can see a goal, and I can hear the ruckus around me. I can see a place far ahead where I am living for myself, and where I have drawn a distinct line between action and reaction.
I've run from my fears from far too long. It's like a difficult musical piece I can't wrap my head around, like a song too fast and complicated to play slowly. I just need to tune the strings and play it; more often then not when I relax and stop thinking too hard, I nail it note for note.
The difficult part for me is realizing I've been hitting the right notes at the right speed, and it scares the shit out of me.
-later-
I don't know what to do. No, I do, I am just too afraid to do it. My fear blurs my cognitive sense of reality into a shell-shocked panic. When I muster my courage, I can see clearly, but it's more like tunnel vision. I can see a goal, and I can hear the ruckus around me. I can see a place far ahead where I am living for myself, and where I have drawn a distinct line between action and reaction.
I've run from my fears from far too long. It's like a difficult musical piece I can't wrap my head around, like a song too fast and complicated to play slowly. I just need to tune the strings and play it; more often then not when I relax and stop thinking too hard, I nail it note for note.
The difficult part for me is realizing I've been hitting the right notes at the right speed, and it scares the shit out of me.