Mm kay....
ok after i have been bitched out by certain people *cough* i will update... tho there isnt much to update about but here's what's on my mind:
I hate it when my parents talk about me like i am not even there, even if i AM sitting RIGHT THERE!! Felicity this, and Felicity that... Felicity is a bad influence... Felicity never should have been born. ( i agree to that one) but on and on it goes....!!
The only way i can escape is SLEEP. Oh good sleep *tries to stroke it* Thats all i do when i get home. Because joy now i have a job, AND summer school. at least until the end of this week... but... when i get bothered in class... i sleep.... It's my defense mechanism. And my "shrink" says that sleep like i do is considered a deep form of depression.. NO SHIT!! The only way i can escape it all without suicide is sleep. All the shit that has happened in the past 6 months is so fucking overwhelming, and none of you guys know the beginning of it, b/c i try to keep my emotions in a bottle. which never works b/c i'll blow up in someone's face eventually... i have before, but that just seems to work best for me. Even as i am typing i dunno what i am so pissed off about, but whatever it is is enough for my hands to shake. Everything gets on my nerves these days. I had what i thought was a perfect relationship going, and then "im not sure if i ever loved you... think what you wanna think..." and i was *pauses* engaged to him... WTF i thought he was real, but i guess its sorta true what they say, maybe i should give up on love all together. Anytime i fall in love with someone it blows up in MY face. And god, it hurts like hell to have your heart ripped from your chest and cut up right in front of you. *sigh* i dunno... love is a great thing.... UNTIL you lose it, and your heart is ripped into tiny microscopic bloody pieces
Ok i am going to stop other wise this entry is going to be 10 fucking pages long.... god i hate my life... can anyone make it any better?? I doubt it... oh well i'm screwed i guess.
*Goth Chick*
I hate it when my parents talk about me like i am not even there, even if i AM sitting RIGHT THERE!! Felicity this, and Felicity that... Felicity is a bad influence... Felicity never should have been born. ( i agree to that one) but on and on it goes....!!
The only way i can escape is SLEEP. Oh good sleep *tries to stroke it* Thats all i do when i get home. Because joy now i have a job, AND summer school. at least until the end of this week... but... when i get bothered in class... i sleep.... It's my defense mechanism. And my "shrink" says that sleep like i do is considered a deep form of depression.. NO SHIT!! The only way i can escape it all without suicide is sleep. All the shit that has happened in the past 6 months is so fucking overwhelming, and none of you guys know the beginning of it, b/c i try to keep my emotions in a bottle. which never works b/c i'll blow up in someone's face eventually... i have before, but that just seems to work best for me. Even as i am typing i dunno what i am so pissed off about, but whatever it is is enough for my hands to shake. Everything gets on my nerves these days. I had what i thought was a perfect relationship going, and then "im not sure if i ever loved you... think what you wanna think..." and i was *pauses* engaged to him... WTF i thought he was real, but i guess its sorta true what they say, maybe i should give up on love all together. Anytime i fall in love with someone it blows up in MY face. And god, it hurts like hell to have your heart ripped from your chest and cut up right in front of you. *sigh* i dunno... love is a great thing.... UNTIL you lose it, and your heart is ripped into tiny microscopic bloody pieces
Ok i am going to stop other wise this entry is going to be 10 fucking pages long.... god i hate my life... can anyone make it any better?? I doubt it... oh well i'm screwed i guess.
*Goth Chick*