Lyrics and Medicine
"Nevermind" By: The Birthday Massacre
Five glasses changed my mind.
Seems like the ticking hands are taking their time.
I guess I've been at home for longer than it takes to unwind,
So slap me if I step out of line.
Now in smaller spaces, careless lust intoxicated.
Away from prying eyes and rabid smiles and everythings shattering.
My invitation was involuntary dilation and now I cant recall your name.
I think we've met before
It was last Christmas on our parent's accord
You where the young man in the costume that was hard to ignore
And I was feeling hopelessly bored...
Now your conversations: scholarships and occupations.
You look so different than before when... Never mind... Anyway...
This reckless violation, tarnishing my reputation
Has left me nothing kind to say.
---------------------
So I imagine I should let people know what I have been up to, right? With all my cryptic musings alluding to whatever people want to read into it, an honest statement free of the need for an Enigma machine is probably due. No promises on snarky statements.
The last couple weeks have been quite busy. I cleared out my Psych rotation and now find myself in the midst of my elective with Dr. Thompson back home. And to be honest, it is a complete blast. As I stated before, Family Medicine is love. I question if this is what I am meant to do in medicine, since I absolutely have fallen completely in love with just about everything about it. I like continuity of care, I like the issues I help take care of, I like the people, and I like doing my OMT. All together, it is phenomenal. However, the only issue is the pay. In the hierarchy of the doctor totem pole, Family Medicine sort of gets the bottom rung and then some.
Even so, it is not about money, and it is all about what we love doing, right?
Recently, I found myself back in Indianapolis for my sister's graduation. After several long years of heartbreak and so forth, she graduated from nursing school. While the ceremony was cold and fairly miserable, I am happy she accomplished this goal. Within a short period of time, she will be moving with her boyfriend to start her new job. Good for her.
While there, I met up with some old friends. I know some of them are reading this now. *waves*
It was good to see them all. Jason, Paul, Sarah, Zlaya, and Leslie, it was a pleasure to see old faces. Dara, I know you are likely reading this, and I have to say sowwie for not meeting up with you! Between family responsibilities and so forth, I wasn't able to find the time to swing by! However, should you land in Chicago, lemmie know.
Moving on, it was good to see old friends. It was a moment of glory walking into Tru unannounced and watching the faces light up when people recognized that, yes, it was indeed Mark Watson. It was good to be missed. I heard welcome news and unwelcome news, enjoyed laughs and bit my tongue, but for a little bit, I was a little younger, a little more carefree, and probably a little too drunk for my own good.
The odd thing was meeting up with Leslie. We met up at Rock Bottom, once our favorite restaurant to go to. It was the first time we had seen each other since the day she left and walked out of the door in Chicago, never to return. She and I, ironically enough, both dressed in purple and black. Light banter ensued over dinner before returning to her place to see the ferrets. Eventually, it was time to part, and during a hug, she began to cry.
It was a little heartbreaking, and yet, flattering. I hate the fact she was unhappy. I hate the fact that she is still lost, and has not yet truly found her place. And yet, I am flattered to know that throughout all of this, I can see my influence has been far reaching. To this day, she says I am the one that all the future whatevers will be measured to. I am the benchmark. And yes, I know I am taking pride in this thing to which so many bad things have come from, but damnit, I have to find my silver lining to all the crap I deal with once in awhile.
Sometimes I do a lot of questioning about how I do act, if I am the gentleman and noble acting individual that I often attempt to be. And sometimes, it is good to see this reconfirmed. I know I am not perfect, and that I will never be, but even so, I know that more often than not, I act appropriately. And that given time, my acts withstand the test of time.
I find myself sitting here now in my parents basement, thinking about where I go from here. I have one year left of medical school, and then I will find myself entering into another phase in my life. It is a bit frightening. My safety net of education will still be gone, and I will be doing this shit for real.
For real.
I am hoping to go visit Keremy soon. It will be good to swing up to Wisconsin again, mow a lawn, and float down a river.
It'll be good to get away from crazies for a little while. And passive aggressiveness. And medicine. And all of my worries.
I find myself needing a clear head. I want to go back to Chicago and be among my own place. To relax.
The funny thing is, I find myself typing all this, and yet it sounded a lot better when I thought of this post earlier in the day. There were a lot of things I wanted to say that have tragically slipped my mind.
I need to get more sleep.
I have caught up with old friends of mine here in Vincennes. It's a strange thing when I see them all. Some have grown up, others haven't. Some are still stuck in the lives they have created, others haven't. And yet, I am afraid. I'm afraid my best friend is making bad decisions. I am afraid that things won't turn out right.
I realize I'm afraid of a lot of things.
This post is taking more of a downward turn than I had expected.
Tomorrow I am going to hit up the bowling alley and see if I can keep up my game. I've been doing pretty good recently, and I should keep that up if I am going to win my bet.
I guess I need a bit of a drink before I turn in for the night.
I'm a little afraid my novelty with RPGs is running thin. I am starting a Shadowrun game this Thursday, so hopefully I will be rekindled.
Time to see where life takes me.
I'll see what I can do about updating more often.
Five glasses changed my mind.
Seems like the ticking hands are taking their time.
I guess I've been at home for longer than it takes to unwind,
So slap me if I step out of line.
Now in smaller spaces, careless lust intoxicated.
Away from prying eyes and rabid smiles and everythings shattering.
My invitation was involuntary dilation and now I cant recall your name.
I think we've met before
It was last Christmas on our parent's accord
You where the young man in the costume that was hard to ignore
And I was feeling hopelessly bored...
Now your conversations: scholarships and occupations.
You look so different than before when... Never mind... Anyway...
This reckless violation, tarnishing my reputation
Has left me nothing kind to say.
---------------------
So I imagine I should let people know what I have been up to, right? With all my cryptic musings alluding to whatever people want to read into it, an honest statement free of the need for an Enigma machine is probably due. No promises on snarky statements.
The last couple weeks have been quite busy. I cleared out my Psych rotation and now find myself in the midst of my elective with Dr. Thompson back home. And to be honest, it is a complete blast. As I stated before, Family Medicine is love. I question if this is what I am meant to do in medicine, since I absolutely have fallen completely in love with just about everything about it. I like continuity of care, I like the issues I help take care of, I like the people, and I like doing my OMT. All together, it is phenomenal. However, the only issue is the pay. In the hierarchy of the doctor totem pole, Family Medicine sort of gets the bottom rung and then some.
Even so, it is not about money, and it is all about what we love doing, right?
Recently, I found myself back in Indianapolis for my sister's graduation. After several long years of heartbreak and so forth, she graduated from nursing school. While the ceremony was cold and fairly miserable, I am happy she accomplished this goal. Within a short period of time, she will be moving with her boyfriend to start her new job. Good for her.
While there, I met up with some old friends. I know some of them are reading this now. *waves*
It was good to see them all. Jason, Paul, Sarah, Zlaya, and Leslie, it was a pleasure to see old faces. Dara, I know you are likely reading this, and I have to say sowwie for not meeting up with you! Between family responsibilities and so forth, I wasn't able to find the time to swing by! However, should you land in Chicago, lemmie know.
Moving on, it was good to see old friends. It was a moment of glory walking into Tru unannounced and watching the faces light up when people recognized that, yes, it was indeed Mark Watson. It was good to be missed. I heard welcome news and unwelcome news, enjoyed laughs and bit my tongue, but for a little bit, I was a little younger, a little more carefree, and probably a little too drunk for my own good.
The odd thing was meeting up with Leslie. We met up at Rock Bottom, once our favorite restaurant to go to. It was the first time we had seen each other since the day she left and walked out of the door in Chicago, never to return. She and I, ironically enough, both dressed in purple and black. Light banter ensued over dinner before returning to her place to see the ferrets. Eventually, it was time to part, and during a hug, she began to cry.
It was a little heartbreaking, and yet, flattering. I hate the fact she was unhappy. I hate the fact that she is still lost, and has not yet truly found her place. And yet, I am flattered to know that throughout all of this, I can see my influence has been far reaching. To this day, she says I am the one that all the future whatevers will be measured to. I am the benchmark. And yes, I know I am taking pride in this thing to which so many bad things have come from, but damnit, I have to find my silver lining to all the crap I deal with once in awhile.
Sometimes I do a lot of questioning about how I do act, if I am the gentleman and noble acting individual that I often attempt to be. And sometimes, it is good to see this reconfirmed. I know I am not perfect, and that I will never be, but even so, I know that more often than not, I act appropriately. And that given time, my acts withstand the test of time.
I find myself sitting here now in my parents basement, thinking about where I go from here. I have one year left of medical school, and then I will find myself entering into another phase in my life. It is a bit frightening. My safety net of education will still be gone, and I will be doing this shit for real.
For real.
I am hoping to go visit Keremy soon. It will be good to swing up to Wisconsin again, mow a lawn, and float down a river.
It'll be good to get away from crazies for a little while. And passive aggressiveness. And medicine. And all of my worries.
I find myself needing a clear head. I want to go back to Chicago and be among my own place. To relax.
The funny thing is, I find myself typing all this, and yet it sounded a lot better when I thought of this post earlier in the day. There were a lot of things I wanted to say that have tragically slipped my mind.
I need to get more sleep.
I have caught up with old friends of mine here in Vincennes. It's a strange thing when I see them all. Some have grown up, others haven't. Some are still stuck in the lives they have created, others haven't. And yet, I am afraid. I'm afraid my best friend is making bad decisions. I am afraid that things won't turn out right.
I realize I'm afraid of a lot of things.
This post is taking more of a downward turn than I had expected.
Tomorrow I am going to hit up the bowling alley and see if I can keep up my game. I've been doing pretty good recently, and I should keep that up if I am going to win my bet.
I guess I need a bit of a drink before I turn in for the night.
I'm a little afraid my novelty with RPGs is running thin. I am starting a Shadowrun game this Thursday, so hopefully I will be rekindled.
Time to see where life takes me.
I'll see what I can do about updating more often.