on motherhood
When I was young I used to quiz my mum on her goals and ambitions and she'd say "the best thing I ever did was raise you kids" - and I used to think (not always to myself!), how can being a mum be something you DO? Isn't it just something you are, by default... something you DO is like a career, or be famous, or invent something, or write a novel... just shows how much you have no idea before you have kids.
Now I know exactly what she meant. Being a good mum doesn't just happen, even when the instinct comes naturally... it's a skill, it's an art, you are constantly in university doing your homework. It's the biggest most epic novel you'll ever write and it's being written on the blank pages of a fresh new life.
You honestly don't realise when you are growing up just how instrumental your parents are, or what they sacrificed....they weren't really people as such...for you, they are just background - behind the scenes - there, in the middle of the night when you wake, there holding your hair back when you spew, there making you eggs on toast before your netball game. It's only when you become a parent yourself you start to see them through a new filter and realise how your children might see you. And it's okay. What you get is why your mum is okay with what little crumbs of love and gratitude you threw to her - or could brush it off when you didn't - because when you're a mum, the job comes with inbuilt satisfaction and you're just happy when they're happy, as if someone shone a light through you to them.
I used to naively think that I'd be back at work full time a year after my daughter was born... lol... you don't understand how much they need you, and how you'll do anything to be with them. That said, I absolutely love my 2-3 days at work per week, it's not about being a martyr... but things change, you change but you stay the same..... and who'd have thought, certainly not the 19 year old me, that I'd consider my life in the 'burbs with a bub in jammies and a DVD the pinnacle of satsifaction :D
I can honestly agree with mum now that this 'job' is my greatest achievement - but not only that, it's the greatest show on earth and I'm privilaged to be watching.
Now I know exactly what she meant. Being a good mum doesn't just happen, even when the instinct comes naturally... it's a skill, it's an art, you are constantly in university doing your homework. It's the biggest most epic novel you'll ever write and it's being written on the blank pages of a fresh new life.
You honestly don't realise when you are growing up just how instrumental your parents are, or what they sacrificed....they weren't really people as such...for you, they are just background - behind the scenes - there, in the middle of the night when you wake, there holding your hair back when you spew, there making you eggs on toast before your netball game. It's only when you become a parent yourself you start to see them through a new filter and realise how your children might see you. And it's okay. What you get is why your mum is okay with what little crumbs of love and gratitude you threw to her - or could brush it off when you didn't - because when you're a mum, the job comes with inbuilt satisfaction and you're just happy when they're happy, as if someone shone a light through you to them.
I used to naively think that I'd be back at work full time a year after my daughter was born... lol... you don't understand how much they need you, and how you'll do anything to be with them. That said, I absolutely love my 2-3 days at work per week, it's not about being a martyr... but things change, you change but you stay the same..... and who'd have thought, certainly not the 19 year old me, that I'd consider my life in the 'burbs with a bub in jammies and a DVD the pinnacle of satsifaction :D
I can honestly agree with mum now that this 'job' is my greatest achievement - but not only that, it's the greatest show on earth and I'm privilaged to be watching.