emotional wreck
today was good. very good. i got what i asked for. and at first it wasnt enough but i think i read way to much into it. and then tonight driving home i realized that it was actually more amazing than i could ever dream.
so tonight lets see...i uhmm went to see the lights. too bad it was a school night or all of my friends were grounded otherwise someone could've came with me. oh well. anywhooo...
the lights were amazing && i played with their little daughter. =] shes soooooooo cute. like seriously and she is sooooo funny for a little girl.
=]
then we got pics with santa? lmao. it was hilarious. that santa clause reminded me of bad santa. lmfao.
it was sooo funny. guess u just had to be there.
I've made a pledge to myself. im going to do better. im turning everything around not that theres really much i need too...sometimes i feel like im compromising though..and i know thats not really a way to get what you want with the Lord himself but im begginggggg and pleadingggg if He just gives me this over anything else imaginable.
that's all im asking for. and i think ive made a good attempt i just...i dont know where to go from here now...i dont know what to think or what not too.
and im looking for signs to see if its true but ... im so blinded...i cant see any signs but hope and disappointment. i cant even tell if its just normal anymore.
i could always tell...but not this one...
this ones different...
and all i can do is keep my faith in prayer.
goodnight