Megan

[strawberry_gum]

i decided to post this because of megan's last entry. megan, i know exactly how you feel and i have refused to tell anyone for a long time now because i didn't want to throw a pity party lol. i feel like you do everyday, i know we are friends because we relate to each other alot and everything, but i never knew that you felt like that at all. i was always jealous of you because i thought you had so many friends and everyone wanted to hang out with you. i usually sit at home in my room and watch tv. i'm a vegetable for most of the hours of the day lol. i usually sit and think about how much fun everyone else is having being a kid like normal people, out, getting drunk and high, laughing, acting like teenagers. i'm not posting this to try and make you feel better, i'm posting this because i could find something in that entry that i could greatly relate to. i know that whatever i try and do, i can't make you feel better. that's up to you. i hate it when people tell me those kinds of things, i just want them to give me some kind of pill to make me bounce back again out of that low. the truth is that it won't last forever. therapy never worked for me either. i never told anyone that i stopped taking my medicine, i didn't even tell the doctor. i gave up everything. a doctor cannot fix you. i've decided that. when i feel like that i stop thinking of everything i don't have, and start thinking of everything that i do, even if it's very little. thinking of the future is also extremely nice. high school sucks more than anything, when you can imagine your life how you want it to be, things look a lot clearer.
"...And these children
that you spit on
as they try to change their worlds
are immune to your consultations.
They're quite aware
of what they're going through..."
David Bowie
good quote from the breakfast club