(no subject)
Ok. 27 days until my birthday. 4 days until Homecoming, which I am still not going to, and 61 days until my little sister's birthday. How the hell is this going to work? How the hell am I supposed to explain it to Jesse?
"i'm sorry Jesse, baby, I can't come to your birthday party because there is no way in hell that I will even look at your father, and even less of a chance that I would be locked in the same room with Heather and him. But trust me, baby, i love you and I hope you have a great birthday!"
Oh yes, I can see that going over oh so smoothly. My baby is going to have such a hard time growing up, and so much of it is my fault. I've basically left her. The one thing I promised I would NEVER do, and i've done it. It's been exactly nine months, and two weeks since I've seen her. The longest time of my life. I want to see her so bad, but I just know that if I see her, one of them will tag along. Either Heather or robert, and I know that it won't work. They don't trust me with my own sister! They think I'll hurt her, or try to turn her against both of them, and turn her to the other parent. I wouldn't! It's her life, and her decision. I wouldn't try to influence her at all! All I want to do is see her, and talk to her, but I can't even call her on the phone, because they are both inconsiderate, sneaky sons of bitches, that listen to every word on the other end of the phone, or they put her on speaker. God. It's unfuckingbelieveable the shit I have to go through just to hear my own flesh and blood's voice on the phone.
I wrote a pretty poem. Read it, if you'd like:
Wish I had my sanity
But I lost it the otherday
Lost it while I was looking for you
To come out and play.
I used to have my sanity
And I was oh so proud!
And if I still held reality
I'd dance and scream real loud.
But people might start thinking then
And I would have to explain
That I had my sanity,
But they'd swear I was insane
So I took my grip on reality
And I hid it somewhere safe.
But then I forgot where it was
And have looked all over the place.
So if you took my sanity
I'd love to have it back
Or if you've seen my sanity...
You should probably get your own head checked because I just made that entire thing up. Me, sane? Right, and my mother is straight edge.
I couldn't think of anything to rhyme with back, that would fit. Man, that really sucked.
Sorry to waste your time.
"i'm sorry Jesse, baby, I can't come to your birthday party because there is no way in hell that I will even look at your father, and even less of a chance that I would be locked in the same room with Heather and him. But trust me, baby, i love you and I hope you have a great birthday!"
Oh yes, I can see that going over oh so smoothly. My baby is going to have such a hard time growing up, and so much of it is my fault. I've basically left her. The one thing I promised I would NEVER do, and i've done it. It's been exactly nine months, and two weeks since I've seen her. The longest time of my life. I want to see her so bad, but I just know that if I see her, one of them will tag along. Either Heather or robert, and I know that it won't work. They don't trust me with my own sister! They think I'll hurt her, or try to turn her against both of them, and turn her to the other parent. I wouldn't! It's her life, and her decision. I wouldn't try to influence her at all! All I want to do is see her, and talk to her, but I can't even call her on the phone, because they are both inconsiderate, sneaky sons of bitches, that listen to every word on the other end of the phone, or they put her on speaker. God. It's unfuckingbelieveable the shit I have to go through just to hear my own flesh and blood's voice on the phone.
I wrote a pretty poem. Read it, if you'd like:
Wish I had my sanity
But I lost it the otherday
Lost it while I was looking for you
To come out and play.
I used to have my sanity
And I was oh so proud!
And if I still held reality
I'd dance and scream real loud.
But people might start thinking then
And I would have to explain
That I had my sanity,
But they'd swear I was insane
So I took my grip on reality
And I hid it somewhere safe.
But then I forgot where it was
And have looked all over the place.
So if you took my sanity
I'd love to have it back
Or if you've seen my sanity...
You should probably get your own head checked because I just made that entire thing up. Me, sane? Right, and my mother is straight edge.
I couldn't think of anything to rhyme with back, that would fit. Man, that really sucked.
Sorry to waste your time.