Moving On
Waking up to the glow of early morning sun streaming through my curtains, my best friend Chelsea by my side, I could not believe today was the day we would graduate high school.
“Can you believe this?” I asked a yawning Chelsea, as she stretched and looked out the window. “We are actually finished with school. I feel like we were freshmen yesterday.”
“I know”, she agreed as she pushed open the window letting the fragrant bouqet of spring fill my bedroom. “We did it girl. You did it. I cannot believe how far you have come. I am so proud of you.”
Sitting there in my room with my best friend Chelsea, I was overwhelmed with happiness; we were laughing and getting dressed up for our big day we’ll always remember. I looked in the mirror while applying my eye shadow and saw the girl in the mirror staring back at me, was a girl that had survived a living nightmare. I gazed down at my scarred, swollen leg. My left leg that has caused me so many problems. As l looked at it I relived the accident like I’ve done so many times in the past two years.
**********************************************************
Filled with excitement on one of those perfect May afternoons, Chelsea and I climbed into her black Ford Escort and headed to her house for a sleepover. In high school, there is nothing better than a long weekend, and on Thursday May 21, we had one to look forward to. Excitement had rushed through our veins as we savored our first taste of freedom; Chelsea had turned sixteen early in our sophomore year, and this was the first day she drove to school herself. All of the months of practice with a learners permit had finally paid off, and Chelsea joined the rank of licensed drivers. What a luxury to not have to ride the bus home from school.
As we made our way to her house for a sleepover, we turned the radio up loud, as our favorite country song, “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers buzzed through the speakers. We were laughing, singing, and having fun. I looked over at Chelsea, sitting in front of the steering wheel; she’s a very laidback person with her short blond hair, bright blue eyes, fairly dark skin, and very skinny. All the guys love her, with her being very flirty.
I listened to Chelsea sing in her high pitch voice to the radio when I saw that my left shoe was untied. So, I propped my foot up on the dash board to tie it, while Chelsea came to a slow stop at a red light. With mounting excitement I realized I no longer needed a ride from my mom as my partner in crime could and would take me anywhere. As I tied my shoe I looked up to see a white, suburban rapidly approaching us through the intersection. Before I could even form a thought, we collided with the suburban and forever changing my life. Everything happened so fast. As the airbag exploded in my face I felt a sharp, excruciating pain all at once. I wasn’t even sure where the pain was coming from at first. Then I saw blood, dark, red blood everywhere. It was then I knew my left leg was broken, I just didn’t know how bad it really was. I yelled, “Chelsea, my leg’s broken!!” Chelsea and I looked at each other with the airbag in her pale white face; her eyes watering. I leaned over and put my head in her lap and screamed in agonizing pain. I screamed and cried while Chelsea called 911 on her cell phone.
What I saw when I sat up to have a disorientated look around will forever be remember in my head. I saw that my door was smashed so far in I barely had room to breathe with the huge air bag in my face, small broken pieces of glass was everywhere, my dark colored blood was all over the car, but I didn’t look down at my leg, because I knew it was really messed up. I leaned back onto Chelsea I began to cry again. As waves of pain crashed through my body, my first thought was our sleepover was going to be started late. It never occurred to me it would be canceled. As the nausea and pain grew worse, my innocence would not let me comprehend the seriousness of what was happening. How I wished we were somewhere else, somewhere safer.
I heard sirens getting closer and closer, until the police officer was standing just outside the car. He was asking questions (that I let Chelsea answer) and telling us they were going to use the Jaws of Life to cut me out. Chelsea could have got out because her door was fine, but she elected to stay with me and let me cry on her shoulder.
It took 45 minutes for them to cut me out of the car. They couldn’t cut through the door because of all the steel, so they cut the top of the car off. The Jaws of Life looked like huge pair of scissors to me.
After they freed me from the car, the paramedics rushed towards me with a stretcher. The paramedics strapped a neck brace on me (that pulled my hair) and strapped me down on a straight board. Then they wheeled me into the ambulances. It was the longest car ride in my life, I felt like I was going to be in pain forever and we would never get to the hospital. Up front I heard Chelsea talking to my parents on her cell phone, she told them to meet us at Kosair Children’s Hospital. I closed my eyes and pictured myself last summer at the beach with my parents. When I opened my eyes they were rolling me out of the ambulance, I felt a whole new shock of pain flow through my body. It was more than I could take and I passed out.
**********************************************************
“Kelly!! What’s wrong?!” Chelsea cast a worried glance over the car. I didn’t realize I was crying as I snapped out of my daydream and noticed I was no longer on a stretcher.
“Sorry,” I said as I wiped away some tears, “I was just thinking about the accident.”
“It’s alright,” she leaned over the car and hugged me warmly and friendly at a stop sign, “You don’t have to be sorry for anything.” Chelsea is more like a sister to me. She stayed by side during everything and helped me more than anyone, besides my parents.
“So, you want fix your makeup, I can pull over for a minute?” Chelsea asked sweetly.
“Yeah that’s fine. I can’t believe I cried and messed up everything!” I sighed; being upset on my graduation day was the last thing I pictured.
“Kelly, I understand perfectly. Today is a day of remembrances and you got a lot to remember, you’ve been through more than people could even imagine.” Chelsea tired to comfort me. We are on our way to graduation, all dressed up in our gorgeous caps and gowns.
As I finished dotting on my makeup, I looked over at Chelsea, “OK Chels, I’m beautiful again!” I laughed
Chelsea smiles, “There we go, that’s the attitude! We got to go, can’t be late for our own graduation! How embarrassing!”
Just then, “Jesus take the wheel” by Carrie Underwood came on the radio. It made me think about being in the hospital.
**********************************************************
I woke up in the ER throwing up everywhere. It was so gross because I still had the neck brace on so I couldn’t move, it went everywhere. For a minute I wasn’t sure where I was. I stared at the ceiling, panted on it were colorful butterflies saying, “Get well soon” and “Hope you feel better.” Then I remembered being trapped in the car for what seemed like a life time.
Nurses surrounded my bed, wiping me off, changing my neck brace, they couldn’t change my sheets because they couldn’t move me, the nurses also put a tube in my mouth to clear my breathing tube so I wouldn’t chock on vomit. I noticed they cut my clothes off and threw a gown and a lot and sheets on me.
When they finished they let my parents come back to see me. My mom, Stacie and my dad, George rushed into the room. A doctor pulled back the sheets so my parents could see my leg. Taking one look and my mom passed out, my dad being a doctor himself (he studies different types of diseases at a university) just made a face. That’s what made me very worried, if my mom passed out then my leg can’t be in good shape. My dad began to talk to the doctor about my situation.
When my dad was done talking to the doctor about 20 minutes later he was by my side. He had tears in his eyes and a strain in his voice, “Honey, they want to amputate your leg.” His voice cracked. “Some bones are sticking out and your leg is dangling like a lose tooth from the impact of the airbag. But I’m not going to let that happened, I’ve already called in a specialist, his coming in on a helicopter right now.” My dad was now bailing; I’ve never seen my dad cry in my life.
His words hit me like stones. I knew my leg was broke, but I never would have believed they would want to cut it off. My head began to throb, the room started to spin. I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t see right. I thought to myself, “Maybe this isn’t real, hopefully it will just all go away!” but the pain was real enough to reminded me that this was reality and it wasn’t about to send me off into a dream land. I started at the butterflies wishing they could take me away.
“Dad, I’m so scared!” I whispered. I was freezing and shaking so hard it made my leg hurt even more. My body was in shock and it felt like it was slowly turning it’s self off.
“I know honey, but unfortunately that’s not all the bad news.” My dad sniffled; my heart almost stopped beating, what else could be wrong with me? “From your open wounds where your bones snapped out you have a very bad bacteria blood infection called staphylococcal and a bacteria bone infection called osteomyelitis.
You also have internal bleeding in your liver and kidneys from the impact of your leg breaking so hard.” My dad was pale white and looked like he wanted to pass out with my mom, who was now sitting up in a chair starting to come to.
The pains in my leg seem to increase, when my dad was done telling me everything. I started to scream in pain, when a nurse came running with a shot of morphine. I couldn’t believe this is happing to me, I didn’t really understand what was happing. Everything felt like a blur and like it wasn’t really me, like I was watching some one else lay in the ER with all those injures. As in the morphine kicked in, my body went numb and I felt like I was floating. I closed my eyes wishing I could open them back up and be safe in my own room, and I fell asleep.
I woke up with a blurred vision as I looked around the ICU room. I was alone and scared, I wanted my mom with me. I felt like a 3 year old who just fell down and wanted mommy to kiss there boo boo. I grabbed onto the bed to pull myself up to see what was going on (I still couldn’t see anything because of my neck brace.) As a shock of pain flowed through my body, I fell back onto the hard hospital bed. I began to yell frantically, “Mom!” my voice sounded very weak.
After a few more weak tries my mom yanked back the curtains and cried, “Kelly, what is it?”
“Mom, please don’t leave me! I’m so very scared!” I was sobbing now.
“Oh, Kelly I’m sorry! I had to use the bathroom!” my mom held my hand as if she never wanted to let go of me again. I looked into my mom’s green eyes (just like mine) and thought she must be very hurt to see her baby girl like this.
I spent the next 3 long, hurtful days in ICU with a 105-104 degree temperature because of the blood infection. On the 3rd day, I was sent to go get x-rays after I was put to sleep so doctors could push the bones back in and pull the skin down over it. The x-rays were one of the worse things that happen to me in the hospital. Nurses pulled, twisted, and held my broken, fragile leg in the air. It was tormenting, I screamed and cried with severe, burning pain.
After the x-rays were done, the doctor came back to tell me and my parents that my ankle had been completely shattered, like throwing a glass ball on a driveway, and my shin and upper calf were broken also. He said he would need to do surgery to put screws in my ankle, cut the bone infection out, and put a halo around my leg. A halo looks like three horse shoes going down my leg, with pines sticking out of my leg holding it in place. The doctor explained I would be on crutches for about 6 months with the halo around my leg. Also he told us I had severe never damage, and I wouldn’t be able to feel or move my left foot for at lest 8 months.
A few days later I had the long, stressful surgery. I was very sick afterwards. All day I felt nauseous and dizzy, my throat hurt and was very scratchy, because in surgery, doctors stuck a tube down my throat so I could breathe.
I spent the next week in a half going through rehab. I had to learn how to take a shower, use the bathroom, go up and down stairs, and how to sit up in a chair with the halo. I couldn’t put any weight on my left leg or bend it, and I walked with crutches and was in a wheelchair.
Everything got so depressing and hard. I haven’t taken a real shower in a long time; all I had was bed baths, so I didn’t even want to touch myself. I lay in a bed watching my friends come and see me; laughing, talking about school, walking around without pain. I knew it was going to be a long time before I could walk at all, so it was very hard to see my friends living a normal life, going to school while I was lying in the hospital. I started to hate lying in bed all day long, I got very restless. I never wanted out of a bed more in my life.
After a very long 3 weeks in the hospital I was finally sent home. I had never in my life been happier to be in my own home, with my family, pets, and friends. Chelsea stayed over as much as she could, but I was still a very sick girl and she still had school.
As the happiness wore off and the reality sunk in, I realized I was going to have to finish the rest of the year through home school. Also I found out that the 16 year old kid who hit me was named Zack Anderson and he had run away so we could only sue his parents and the insurance company. I was very furious that he had changed my life very dramatically and wasn’t even going to say he was sorry. Zack was the cause of all my pain and all he could do was runaway. I never hated anyone more in my life, I will never forgive him for the pain he has caused me and my family.
**********************************************************
“Kelly Brown is a hard working student who maintained a 3.8 GPA, did wonderful community service, and has a dream to peruse a nursing career. Therefore has been offered a $20,000 scholarship to attend University of Kentucky!” the principal, Mr. Jones called out across Freedom Hall where we were graduating, for me to come up on stage.
I snapped out of my day dream to see Mr. Jones smiling, talking about a smart, hardworking girl. That girl was me. I hurried up, across the stage. Mr. Jones shook my hand tenderly as I received my one and only diploma and scholarship. He whispered, “I’m so proud of you!”
As I took my sit with my diploma and scholarship at hand while Mr. Jones called out more names, I was overjoyed. I had butterflies in my stomach; I couldn’t believe that next year in the fall, I was to be starting my collage classes to become a nurse and help save lives. I smiled because even though I was going to need more surgeries and the pain wasn’t over, I was still alive and with a very bring future. The car accident is something I will never be able to forget. It changed everything about me, physically and who I am as a person. Today is my first step to moving on from my nightmare high school life into the real world.
“Can you believe this?” I asked a yawning Chelsea, as she stretched and looked out the window. “We are actually finished with school. I feel like we were freshmen yesterday.”
“I know”, she agreed as she pushed open the window letting the fragrant bouqet of spring fill my bedroom. “We did it girl. You did it. I cannot believe how far you have come. I am so proud of you.”
Sitting there in my room with my best friend Chelsea, I was overwhelmed with happiness; we were laughing and getting dressed up for our big day we’ll always remember. I looked in the mirror while applying my eye shadow and saw the girl in the mirror staring back at me, was a girl that had survived a living nightmare. I gazed down at my scarred, swollen leg. My left leg that has caused me so many problems. As l looked at it I relived the accident like I’ve done so many times in the past two years.
**********************************************************
Filled with excitement on one of those perfect May afternoons, Chelsea and I climbed into her black Ford Escort and headed to her house for a sleepover. In high school, there is nothing better than a long weekend, and on Thursday May 21, we had one to look forward to. Excitement had rushed through our veins as we savored our first taste of freedom; Chelsea had turned sixteen early in our sophomore year, and this was the first day she drove to school herself. All of the months of practice with a learners permit had finally paid off, and Chelsea joined the rank of licensed drivers. What a luxury to not have to ride the bus home from school.
As we made our way to her house for a sleepover, we turned the radio up loud, as our favorite country song, “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers buzzed through the speakers. We were laughing, singing, and having fun. I looked over at Chelsea, sitting in front of the steering wheel; she’s a very laidback person with her short blond hair, bright blue eyes, fairly dark skin, and very skinny. All the guys love her, with her being very flirty.
I listened to Chelsea sing in her high pitch voice to the radio when I saw that my left shoe was untied. So, I propped my foot up on the dash board to tie it, while Chelsea came to a slow stop at a red light. With mounting excitement I realized I no longer needed a ride from my mom as my partner in crime could and would take me anywhere. As I tied my shoe I looked up to see a white, suburban rapidly approaching us through the intersection. Before I could even form a thought, we collided with the suburban and forever changing my life. Everything happened so fast. As the airbag exploded in my face I felt a sharp, excruciating pain all at once. I wasn’t even sure where the pain was coming from at first. Then I saw blood, dark, red blood everywhere. It was then I knew my left leg was broken, I just didn’t know how bad it really was. I yelled, “Chelsea, my leg’s broken!!” Chelsea and I looked at each other with the airbag in her pale white face; her eyes watering. I leaned over and put my head in her lap and screamed in agonizing pain. I screamed and cried while Chelsea called 911 on her cell phone.
What I saw when I sat up to have a disorientated look around will forever be remember in my head. I saw that my door was smashed so far in I barely had room to breathe with the huge air bag in my face, small broken pieces of glass was everywhere, my dark colored blood was all over the car, but I didn’t look down at my leg, because I knew it was really messed up. I leaned back onto Chelsea I began to cry again. As waves of pain crashed through my body, my first thought was our sleepover was going to be started late. It never occurred to me it would be canceled. As the nausea and pain grew worse, my innocence would not let me comprehend the seriousness of what was happening. How I wished we were somewhere else, somewhere safer.
I heard sirens getting closer and closer, until the police officer was standing just outside the car. He was asking questions (that I let Chelsea answer) and telling us they were going to use the Jaws of Life to cut me out. Chelsea could have got out because her door was fine, but she elected to stay with me and let me cry on her shoulder.
It took 45 minutes for them to cut me out of the car. They couldn’t cut through the door because of all the steel, so they cut the top of the car off. The Jaws of Life looked like huge pair of scissors to me.
After they freed me from the car, the paramedics rushed towards me with a stretcher. The paramedics strapped a neck brace on me (that pulled my hair) and strapped me down on a straight board. Then they wheeled me into the ambulances. It was the longest car ride in my life, I felt like I was going to be in pain forever and we would never get to the hospital. Up front I heard Chelsea talking to my parents on her cell phone, she told them to meet us at Kosair Children’s Hospital. I closed my eyes and pictured myself last summer at the beach with my parents. When I opened my eyes they were rolling me out of the ambulance, I felt a whole new shock of pain flow through my body. It was more than I could take and I passed out.
**********************************************************
“Kelly!! What’s wrong?!” Chelsea cast a worried glance over the car. I didn’t realize I was crying as I snapped out of my daydream and noticed I was no longer on a stretcher.
“Sorry,” I said as I wiped away some tears, “I was just thinking about the accident.”
“It’s alright,” she leaned over the car and hugged me warmly and friendly at a stop sign, “You don’t have to be sorry for anything.” Chelsea is more like a sister to me. She stayed by side during everything and helped me more than anyone, besides my parents.
“So, you want fix your makeup, I can pull over for a minute?” Chelsea asked sweetly.
“Yeah that’s fine. I can’t believe I cried and messed up everything!” I sighed; being upset on my graduation day was the last thing I pictured.
“Kelly, I understand perfectly. Today is a day of remembrances and you got a lot to remember, you’ve been through more than people could even imagine.” Chelsea tired to comfort me. We are on our way to graduation, all dressed up in our gorgeous caps and gowns.
As I finished dotting on my makeup, I looked over at Chelsea, “OK Chels, I’m beautiful again!” I laughed
Chelsea smiles, “There we go, that’s the attitude! We got to go, can’t be late for our own graduation! How embarrassing!”
Just then, “Jesus take the wheel” by Carrie Underwood came on the radio. It made me think about being in the hospital.
**********************************************************
I woke up in the ER throwing up everywhere. It was so gross because I still had the neck brace on so I couldn’t move, it went everywhere. For a minute I wasn’t sure where I was. I stared at the ceiling, panted on it were colorful butterflies saying, “Get well soon” and “Hope you feel better.” Then I remembered being trapped in the car for what seemed like a life time.
Nurses surrounded my bed, wiping me off, changing my neck brace, they couldn’t change my sheets because they couldn’t move me, the nurses also put a tube in my mouth to clear my breathing tube so I wouldn’t chock on vomit. I noticed they cut my clothes off and threw a gown and a lot and sheets on me.
When they finished they let my parents come back to see me. My mom, Stacie and my dad, George rushed into the room. A doctor pulled back the sheets so my parents could see my leg. Taking one look and my mom passed out, my dad being a doctor himself (he studies different types of diseases at a university) just made a face. That’s what made me very worried, if my mom passed out then my leg can’t be in good shape. My dad began to talk to the doctor about my situation.
When my dad was done talking to the doctor about 20 minutes later he was by my side. He had tears in his eyes and a strain in his voice, “Honey, they want to amputate your leg.” His voice cracked. “Some bones are sticking out and your leg is dangling like a lose tooth from the impact of the airbag. But I’m not going to let that happened, I’ve already called in a specialist, his coming in on a helicopter right now.” My dad was now bailing; I’ve never seen my dad cry in my life.
His words hit me like stones. I knew my leg was broke, but I never would have believed they would want to cut it off. My head began to throb, the room started to spin. I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t see right. I thought to myself, “Maybe this isn’t real, hopefully it will just all go away!” but the pain was real enough to reminded me that this was reality and it wasn’t about to send me off into a dream land. I started at the butterflies wishing they could take me away.
“Dad, I’m so scared!” I whispered. I was freezing and shaking so hard it made my leg hurt even more. My body was in shock and it felt like it was slowly turning it’s self off.
“I know honey, but unfortunately that’s not all the bad news.” My dad sniffled; my heart almost stopped beating, what else could be wrong with me? “From your open wounds where your bones snapped out you have a very bad bacteria blood infection called staphylococcal and a bacteria bone infection called osteomyelitis.
You also have internal bleeding in your liver and kidneys from the impact of your leg breaking so hard.” My dad was pale white and looked like he wanted to pass out with my mom, who was now sitting up in a chair starting to come to.
The pains in my leg seem to increase, when my dad was done telling me everything. I started to scream in pain, when a nurse came running with a shot of morphine. I couldn’t believe this is happing to me, I didn’t really understand what was happing. Everything felt like a blur and like it wasn’t really me, like I was watching some one else lay in the ER with all those injures. As in the morphine kicked in, my body went numb and I felt like I was floating. I closed my eyes wishing I could open them back up and be safe in my own room, and I fell asleep.
I woke up with a blurred vision as I looked around the ICU room. I was alone and scared, I wanted my mom with me. I felt like a 3 year old who just fell down and wanted mommy to kiss there boo boo. I grabbed onto the bed to pull myself up to see what was going on (I still couldn’t see anything because of my neck brace.) As a shock of pain flowed through my body, I fell back onto the hard hospital bed. I began to yell frantically, “Mom!” my voice sounded very weak.
After a few more weak tries my mom yanked back the curtains and cried, “Kelly, what is it?”
“Mom, please don’t leave me! I’m so very scared!” I was sobbing now.
“Oh, Kelly I’m sorry! I had to use the bathroom!” my mom held my hand as if she never wanted to let go of me again. I looked into my mom’s green eyes (just like mine) and thought she must be very hurt to see her baby girl like this.
I spent the next 3 long, hurtful days in ICU with a 105-104 degree temperature because of the blood infection. On the 3rd day, I was sent to go get x-rays after I was put to sleep so doctors could push the bones back in and pull the skin down over it. The x-rays were one of the worse things that happen to me in the hospital. Nurses pulled, twisted, and held my broken, fragile leg in the air. It was tormenting, I screamed and cried with severe, burning pain.
After the x-rays were done, the doctor came back to tell me and my parents that my ankle had been completely shattered, like throwing a glass ball on a driveway, and my shin and upper calf were broken also. He said he would need to do surgery to put screws in my ankle, cut the bone infection out, and put a halo around my leg. A halo looks like three horse shoes going down my leg, with pines sticking out of my leg holding it in place. The doctor explained I would be on crutches for about 6 months with the halo around my leg. Also he told us I had severe never damage, and I wouldn’t be able to feel or move my left foot for at lest 8 months.
A few days later I had the long, stressful surgery. I was very sick afterwards. All day I felt nauseous and dizzy, my throat hurt and was very scratchy, because in surgery, doctors stuck a tube down my throat so I could breathe.
I spent the next week in a half going through rehab. I had to learn how to take a shower, use the bathroom, go up and down stairs, and how to sit up in a chair with the halo. I couldn’t put any weight on my left leg or bend it, and I walked with crutches and was in a wheelchair.
Everything got so depressing and hard. I haven’t taken a real shower in a long time; all I had was bed baths, so I didn’t even want to touch myself. I lay in a bed watching my friends come and see me; laughing, talking about school, walking around without pain. I knew it was going to be a long time before I could walk at all, so it was very hard to see my friends living a normal life, going to school while I was lying in the hospital. I started to hate lying in bed all day long, I got very restless. I never wanted out of a bed more in my life.
After a very long 3 weeks in the hospital I was finally sent home. I had never in my life been happier to be in my own home, with my family, pets, and friends. Chelsea stayed over as much as she could, but I was still a very sick girl and she still had school.
As the happiness wore off and the reality sunk in, I realized I was going to have to finish the rest of the year through home school. Also I found out that the 16 year old kid who hit me was named Zack Anderson and he had run away so we could only sue his parents and the insurance company. I was very furious that he had changed my life very dramatically and wasn’t even going to say he was sorry. Zack was the cause of all my pain and all he could do was runaway. I never hated anyone more in my life, I will never forgive him for the pain he has caused me and my family.
**********************************************************
“Kelly Brown is a hard working student who maintained a 3.8 GPA, did wonderful community service, and has a dream to peruse a nursing career. Therefore has been offered a $20,000 scholarship to attend University of Kentucky!” the principal, Mr. Jones called out across Freedom Hall where we were graduating, for me to come up on stage.
I snapped out of my day dream to see Mr. Jones smiling, talking about a smart, hardworking girl. That girl was me. I hurried up, across the stage. Mr. Jones shook my hand tenderly as I received my one and only diploma and scholarship. He whispered, “I’m so proud of you!”
As I took my sit with my diploma and scholarship at hand while Mr. Jones called out more names, I was overjoyed. I had butterflies in my stomach; I couldn’t believe that next year in the fall, I was to be starting my collage classes to become a nurse and help save lives. I smiled because even though I was going to need more surgeries and the pain wasn’t over, I was still alive and with a very bring future. The car accident is something I will never be able to forget. It changed everything about me, physically and who I am as a person. Today is my first step to moving on from my nightmare high school life into the real world.