Pet Names and What They Mean
William saw my panic post on Facebook and messaged me to see if I was okay. He's so attentive about stuff like that. I really wasn't feeling that great. Being trapped here at the airport for several hours would be bad enough, but I find it super triggering too. The subject of my not having a phone charger came up, and I didn't want to go back to the main terminal again to get one. I didn't want to tell him why I didn't want to get another one, but did eventually. When he responded to that he said "Okay love." at the beginning of the message. It was a really comforting and reassuring message as a whole. I had started crying a little bit, and reading that instantly made me feel better.
I went and got a new charger and he called me when I was on my way back to my gate. The LAX airport is huge and you have to take a bus to the main gates from here. I couldn't talk right then, but he said he missed my voice. I love it when he says things like that. It feels like he really cares about me. It's not a feeling I am used to, but I am starting to trust it more and more. I called him back after I had set up the charger and we talked for about half an hour. During our conversation he mentioned using the pet name 'Love', and seemed hurt that I didn't notice it. The grammar snob in me wants to point out that he didn't actually use it as a pet name, but I digress. The fact of the matter is, that if it's a big deal to him, then it is to me too. However, I will often call my close friends 'Love' during casual conversation. It's just who I am as a person. I am very affectionate, both verbally and physically.
He said something about something bringing me a step closer to being in love with him. I didn't really know how to respond. I am not sure how many more steps there are in the delightful process of falling in love with this wonderful man who for some reason decided to ask me out. Maybe there aren't anymore, but I'm not ready to admit it, even to myself. Perhaps I'm waiting until I become better acquainted with his wife and fiancée. Or there could be many more steps to go and I cannot see them all yet because that's not possible at this time. I could be at the edge of the staircase, ready to leap over the edge and into his arms. I will just have to see how it goes. Just thinking about it makes me so fucking happy.