Whores will have their trinkets
For attention whores...
Well, that would be attention, now wouldn't it? Which I have, of late, been granted in spades. It's been marvelous fun, really, though not for the whole family. Maybe just the sexually frustrated, cranky daughter and perverted old maiden aunt of the family. Yes, I rather think a sainted, pearl-clutching mother would be aghast at these shenanigans.
For those of you who have been around the block with me before, I'm sorry for the repeat lesson. You may want to skip to the bottom of this, where I will be recommending my favorite Suits fics for your special delectation. For those of you who are new, welcome. Welcome to my world, where I am the Popess of the Church of My Knickers, the Queen of Awkward Porn, and the more-regularly-ginger half of the Deliza. I recommend reading the middle bits here, before going onto the recommendations, because it may well explain why I am recommending what I am.
First off, a special anonymous thanks to the person who informed me of the fact that- what was the phrasing again? oh yes- people were going apeshit over my craptalking. I don't know who you are or if it was done as a polite courtesy to me, but I appreciate it. Secondly, because I saw it second and not for any qualitative ranking reasons, thank you to the solitary anon who more or less defended my honor. If you are the same person, thank you twice over. If not, twice as many thanks to both of you. It is always nice to see people doing the nice thing while anonymous.
Blah blah blah anons blah blah blah trolling my own hate thread because I was bored at work blah blah blah people need to get a sense of humor and realize that fugly-ass slut is in reference to the greatest teen movie of my generation blah blah blah I am a smug, elitist, unapologetic cunt; those who disapprove may utilize the sinister egress. I don't do false modesty, I don't do fake compliments unless you are some ragingly hot babe of a man (I speak here of the Fassbender caliber and higher, a specimen of which I've never met in person, so really I don't do fake compliments), and I don't apologize for telling people I respect my honest opinion. I do try to not be an epic cunt and call specific people names behind their back in a public setting unless I am willing to attach my name to it. I am a cunt though, so I may still do it with my name attached, or without naming names at all. That's ever so much more fun.
I have a severe case of comeatmebroitis. I'm not seeking treatment for it at the moment.
To the people who may have been offended that I was less than kind about elements of the meme: Look at your life, look at your choices. If some cunt you don't know has that much power to insult you, without even mentioning your name, it may be time to step away from the internet or get the hell over yourself. Or if it stings that badly, reconsider what you have done that makes you think I mean you or your work in the first place.
Actually that brings me to an important point: I have nothing against the people of the meme, or of the internet, who produce things in which I have no interest or see no value in. Go about your lives. Learn from things people say. Improve or quit, or paint yourself blue and fling yourself at a canvas and call it art. It doesn't matter to me what you do or who you are, anonymous block of authors. The only time I really care about the people involved is when shit like this goes down, because this is when it ceases to be about the qualitative features of the works in question and starts to be about the personalities behind them.
Have your opinions about me and my opinions. Hate me, if you'd like; you can even try to hurt my feelings. I can assure you that your betters have tried and failed. All I ask is that you do it to my face with your name attached, so I know who to avoid on the internet in the future. I can only stay out of your corner of the internet if I know the names of those who I am politely ignoring.
SO. That is what I have to say about that whole little debacle.
Time for recs, eh? I think so.
Extracurricular Overtime by MidKnight2501, on AO3.
This first one is the first Suits fic I read, and it's a scorcher. It's not even that graphic, comparably, but hot damn does it do the trick. Harvey's voice is pretty damn good for- I believe- having been written with only one episode out; shows, doesn't tell. I particularly like the very first bit of description.
He doesn't usually do this. Well. He does. But it's usually the paralegals and the Harvard Douche-bags that he finds spread out across his bed, all long smooth lines of skin. There's usually lingerie on the bed post and stockings trailed across the floor and Christian Louboutin's by the door.
This morning there's a pair of cheap oxfords by the door and the body in the bed doesn't have a stitch of lingerie on it. The lines are too harsh and broad and Mike is lean in an underfed way rather than a artful dieting way.
Prompt fill: Harvey/Mike: marking by anon (HI ANON I KNOW WHO YOU ARE :3)
For those of you who aren't new, no shock here: I prompted peefic with a twist and got an awesome fill back from an awesome person. Does exactly what I hoped it would, in a very short amount of time. Does powerplay in a way that seems right for these characters. Both Harvey and Mike are spot on to me, as grown men who are just sliiiightly wrong in the head in the best possible ways.
It's a game. There are boundaries, rules set in place to keep things from getting out of hand. No playing in the office. No marks where they could raise questions. No holding hands or cutesy pet names. A safeword. Negotiations of "I'll do this for you if you do this for me."
Purely Speculative, by seren_mercury
Character study of Jenny (and through her, Mike and Trevor), written before Episode 3. I love it. It's sparse, but to the point. I feel like the author got a fantastic picture of Mike through the eyes of a character we barely see until the third episode.
She wonders (sometimes, rarely, never, always) what might have happened had it been the other way around. If Mike had been the one that lent her change for the meter, instead of the one inside the deli trying to keep owner from pressing charges. (He did and she met Trevor.) But it all worked out (except).
The Future Never Looked This Good, by anon for a Mike/Tom prompt.
Porn! Funny, in-character, hot porn! Porn that doesn't feel forced or fake, like empty bodies with character names pasted on. Also, no one cries or is a delicate bunny virgin. It's also slightly awkward and Mike is too much in his own head, and not flawless suave or James Bond. It also feels, to me, like sex between grown men who know what they want, which is something that I really like- ESPECIALLY for fic based on a show about grown men who know what they want.
Mike stares at him for a minute and then grins. "Because, as your lawyer, it's my recommendation we take that part of the party away from anyone with a camera phone."
Tom laughs again, a gregarious drunk, and waves down the waitress to pay their tabs. He covers Mike's too, "in return for not having to work with Litt, man, you don't even know," and Mike can't say no to that.
AND LAST (mostly because I hate doing lists of recs because I hate html) BUT NOT LEAST BY ANY MEANS
Heart on Your Sleeve by blackat-t7t
GEEK HARVEY. I dig it. It's great. Especially after the discussion of which Batman Harvey is (for the record, I think he's somewhere between Clooney if he'd been given a better script and Bale on some sort of happy pill). It's funny, it's sweet, and it's not cloying or try hard.
Mike’s not so shallow as to actually fall in love with someone for their money, looks, or even their wit (all of which Harvey has in abundance). No, it takes more than that for Mike to fall for someone, to really, really fall. Mike likes people who actually care about others, for one thing.
THERE. RECS.
NOW GODDAMMIT WILL THE PEOPLE I LIKE ACTUALLY WATCH THIS FUCKING SHOW SO I CAN DISCUSS MY THEORIES WITH THEM.
Well, that would be attention, now wouldn't it? Which I have, of late, been granted in spades. It's been marvelous fun, really, though not for the whole family. Maybe just the sexually frustrated, cranky daughter and perverted old maiden aunt of the family. Yes, I rather think a sainted, pearl-clutching mother would be aghast at these shenanigans.
For those of you who have been around the block with me before, I'm sorry for the repeat lesson. You may want to skip to the bottom of this, where I will be recommending my favorite Suits fics for your special delectation. For those of you who are new, welcome. Welcome to my world, where I am the Popess of the Church of My Knickers, the Queen of Awkward Porn, and the more-regularly-ginger half of the Deliza. I recommend reading the middle bits here, before going onto the recommendations, because it may well explain why I am recommending what I am.
First off, a special anonymous thanks to the person who informed me of the fact that- what was the phrasing again? oh yes- people were going apeshit over my craptalking. I don't know who you are or if it was done as a polite courtesy to me, but I appreciate it. Secondly, because I saw it second and not for any qualitative ranking reasons, thank you to the solitary anon who more or less defended my honor. If you are the same person, thank you twice over. If not, twice as many thanks to both of you. It is always nice to see people doing the nice thing while anonymous.
Blah blah blah anons blah blah blah trolling my own hate thread because I was bored at work blah blah blah people need to get a sense of humor and realize that fugly-ass slut is in reference to the greatest teen movie of my generation blah blah blah I am a smug, elitist, unapologetic cunt; those who disapprove may utilize the sinister egress. I don't do false modesty, I don't do fake compliments unless you are some ragingly hot babe of a man (I speak here of the Fassbender caliber and higher, a specimen of which I've never met in person, so really I don't do fake compliments), and I don't apologize for telling people I respect my honest opinion. I do try to not be an epic cunt and call specific people names behind their back in a public setting unless I am willing to attach my name to it. I am a cunt though, so I may still do it with my name attached, or without naming names at all. That's ever so much more fun.
I have a severe case of comeatmebroitis. I'm not seeking treatment for it at the moment.
To the people who may have been offended that I was less than kind about elements of the meme: Look at your life, look at your choices. If some cunt you don't know has that much power to insult you, without even mentioning your name, it may be time to step away from the internet or get the hell over yourself. Or if it stings that badly, reconsider what you have done that makes you think I mean you or your work in the first place.
Actually that brings me to an important point: I have nothing against the people of the meme, or of the internet, who produce things in which I have no interest or see no value in. Go about your lives. Learn from things people say. Improve or quit, or paint yourself blue and fling yourself at a canvas and call it art. It doesn't matter to me what you do or who you are, anonymous block of authors. The only time I really care about the people involved is when shit like this goes down, because this is when it ceases to be about the qualitative features of the works in question and starts to be about the personalities behind them.
Have your opinions about me and my opinions. Hate me, if you'd like; you can even try to hurt my feelings. I can assure you that your betters have tried and failed. All I ask is that you do it to my face with your name attached, so I know who to avoid on the internet in the future. I can only stay out of your corner of the internet if I know the names of those who I am politely ignoring.
SO. That is what I have to say about that whole little debacle.
Time for recs, eh? I think so.
Extracurricular Overtime by MidKnight2501, on AO3.
This first one is the first Suits fic I read, and it's a scorcher. It's not even that graphic, comparably, but hot damn does it do the trick. Harvey's voice is pretty damn good for- I believe- having been written with only one episode out; shows, doesn't tell. I particularly like the very first bit of description.
He doesn't usually do this. Well. He does. But it's usually the paralegals and the Harvard Douche-bags that he finds spread out across his bed, all long smooth lines of skin. There's usually lingerie on the bed post and stockings trailed across the floor and Christian Louboutin's by the door.
This morning there's a pair of cheap oxfords by the door and the body in the bed doesn't have a stitch of lingerie on it. The lines are too harsh and broad and Mike is lean in an underfed way rather than a artful dieting way.
Prompt fill: Harvey/Mike: marking by anon (HI ANON I KNOW WHO YOU ARE :3)
For those of you who aren't new, no shock here: I prompted peefic with a twist and got an awesome fill back from an awesome person. Does exactly what I hoped it would, in a very short amount of time. Does powerplay in a way that seems right for these characters. Both Harvey and Mike are spot on to me, as grown men who are just sliiiightly wrong in the head in the best possible ways.
It's a game. There are boundaries, rules set in place to keep things from getting out of hand. No playing in the office. No marks where they could raise questions. No holding hands or cutesy pet names. A safeword. Negotiations of "I'll do this for you if you do this for me."
Purely Speculative, by seren_mercury
Character study of Jenny (and through her, Mike and Trevor), written before Episode 3. I love it. It's sparse, but to the point. I feel like the author got a fantastic picture of Mike through the eyes of a character we barely see until the third episode.
She wonders (sometimes, rarely, never, always) what might have happened had it been the other way around. If Mike had been the one that lent her change for the meter, instead of the one inside the deli trying to keep owner from pressing charges. (He did and she met Trevor.) But it all worked out (except).
The Future Never Looked This Good, by anon for a Mike/Tom prompt.
Porn! Funny, in-character, hot porn! Porn that doesn't feel forced or fake, like empty bodies with character names pasted on. Also, no one cries or is a delicate bunny virgin. It's also slightly awkward and Mike is too much in his own head, and not flawless suave or James Bond. It also feels, to me, like sex between grown men who know what they want, which is something that I really like- ESPECIALLY for fic based on a show about grown men who know what they want.
Mike stares at him for a minute and then grins. "Because, as your lawyer, it's my recommendation we take that part of the party away from anyone with a camera phone."
Tom laughs again, a gregarious drunk, and waves down the waitress to pay their tabs. He covers Mike's too, "in return for not having to work with Litt, man, you don't even know," and Mike can't say no to that.
AND LAST (mostly because I hate doing lists of recs because I hate html) BUT NOT LEAST BY ANY MEANS
Heart on Your Sleeve by blackat-t7t
GEEK HARVEY. I dig it. It's great. Especially after the discussion of which Batman Harvey is (for the record, I think he's somewhere between Clooney if he'd been given a better script and Bale on some sort of happy pill). It's funny, it's sweet, and it's not cloying or try hard.
Mike’s not so shallow as to actually fall in love with someone for their money, looks, or even their wit (all of which Harvey has in abundance). No, it takes more than that for Mike to fall for someone, to really, really fall. Mike likes people who actually care about others, for one thing.
THERE. RECS.
NOW GODDAMMIT WILL THE PEOPLE I LIKE ACTUALLY WATCH THIS FUCKING SHOW SO I CAN DISCUSS MY THEORIES WITH THEM.