(no subject)
I realize that I wish I was more like a main character in a story.
I want so much to be the kind of person who can make the hard decisions and accept the consequences. To be able to get through life and push through despite the hardship and heartache. But I realize that the notion itself is ridiculous.
Those aren't real people, they don't have the same limitations I do, they're not constrained by the same rules that I am.
When they want to go against someone, eventually, they have one main singular target to go after to resolve the problem in front of them. I don't have that though, I try to find something like it, but in the end, my struggle is with the world overall, and myself. Becuase I'm tired, and I feel constantly inadequate.
I feel like a supporting character, or a side character, expendable, disposable. I feel bad when I fall into the limelight. I want attention, but I don't want it.
I want so much to be the kind of person who can make the hard decisions and accept the consequences. To be able to get through life and push through despite the hardship and heartache. But I realize that the notion itself is ridiculous.
Those aren't real people, they don't have the same limitations I do, they're not constrained by the same rules that I am.
When they want to go against someone, eventually, they have one main singular target to go after to resolve the problem in front of them. I don't have that though, I try to find something like it, but in the end, my struggle is with the world overall, and myself. Becuase I'm tired, and I feel constantly inadequate.
I feel like a supporting character, or a side character, expendable, disposable. I feel bad when I fall into the limelight. I want attention, but I don't want it.