Still My Ward - an Urbis Arcana short story (Revised)

[strannik01]

Ever since moj_oduvan4ik offered to translate my short stories in exchange for translating her novella, I have been looking at Urbis Arcana stories I've posted already. They were written back in 2011 (if not earlier) and I wanted to clean them up a bit before sending them off for translation, maybe make some changes

Comments

[ext_2216314]

+JMJ+

This is pretty good! The world building is solid, the characters are realistic, and the structure makes for a satisfying close. There were a few parts which I thought dragged a bit, and I thought that Sumitra's offer to train Paco as a wizard was an improvised line rather than something she foresaw she'd have to say at the beginning, but otherwise, I have no complaints. =)

[strannik01]

Thank you for thoughtful feedback.

Sumitra was definitely improvising with Paco. She usually likes to try to give paranormals she faces a chance to redeem themselves, but she had no idea Paco was going to turn out to be one going in.