My paternal grandmother had a stroke (and I didn't find out about it until 1.5 months later)
I've been talking to Grandpa Gena P, my paternal grandfather, on almost weekly basis thanks to Skype. I haven't really written about all the health stuff he's been through over the past two years, and that deserves a separate post, but suffice to say that I'm glad that his doctor allowed him to spend the summer a village in his native Belarus, and, at least for now, just relax and enjoy himself.
(If you are wondering how we were able to Skype in rural Belarus - his nephew got him a Belorussian sim card that let him use data on his phone, and that meant a working Skype app).
But I digress.
As it turned out, while Grandpa Gena P was trying to destress, Grandpa Tanya, his ex-wife and my paternal grandmother, had a stroke. She was taken to the hospital, and she was only recently allowed to go home.
My dad hasn't mentioned any of that to Grandpa Gena P until yesterday, because he wanted his father to rest. Which is understandable because, like I said, Grandpa Gena P has been through a lot. My grandfather called Grandpa Gena V., Grandpa Tanya's husband (who may not be blood, but who is as much of a grandfather to me as my biological grandfathers - and yes, my grandmother did marry two men named Gena, because I guess life is stranger than fiction sometimes). They couldn't talk long, because international calls are expensive, but the best Grandpa Gena P has been able to figure out, Grandma Tanya regained much of her mobility, but she still has difficulty with speech. Grandpa Gena V. has been talking care of her, and my dad and his wife, Natasha, have been helping around the house as well.
Grandpa Gena P will be heading back to St. Petersburg next week, and he said he'll give me an update next time we Skype. So, much as it has been the case with Grandpa Gena P. and his health troubles, all I can do is wait.
I get my dad not wanting to worry my grandfather. I don't fault him for that in the slightest. But he has my e-mail. Natasha has my Skype contact. I know that my dad and I, lets not mince words, suck at communicating with each other, and its a mutually perpetuated problem. But... This is my grandmother we're talking about. I even searched my inbox, just in case I missed an e-mail, but, unless it wound up in junkmail and got deleted, I haven't found so much as a short message.
Anyway...
You know what I keep thinking about? I keep thinking about how, unlike Grandma Nina, with her endless passive aggression and slights she stored to be weaponized later, Grandma Tanya always wore her heart of her sleeve and let you know exactly how she felt, for better of for worse. And I keep thinking about the last time I saw Grandma Valya, my great-grandmother, alive, back in 2006. By that point, she could no longer speak - she just babbled. But I remember the urgency in her voice, and remembered the lively, loving woman she was, and all I could do was hold her hand and try not to cry.
(If you are wondering how we were able to Skype in rural Belarus - his nephew got him a Belorussian sim card that let him use data on his phone, and that meant a working Skype app).
But I digress.
As it turned out, while Grandpa Gena P was trying to destress, Grandpa Tanya, his ex-wife and my paternal grandmother, had a stroke. She was taken to the hospital, and she was only recently allowed to go home.
My dad hasn't mentioned any of that to Grandpa Gena P until yesterday, because he wanted his father to rest. Which is understandable because, like I said, Grandpa Gena P has been through a lot. My grandfather called Grandpa Gena V., Grandpa Tanya's husband (who may not be blood, but who is as much of a grandfather to me as my biological grandfathers - and yes, my grandmother did marry two men named Gena, because I guess life is stranger than fiction sometimes). They couldn't talk long, because international calls are expensive, but the best Grandpa Gena P has been able to figure out, Grandma Tanya regained much of her mobility, but she still has difficulty with speech. Grandpa Gena V. has been talking care of her, and my dad and his wife, Natasha, have been helping around the house as well.
Grandpa Gena P will be heading back to St. Petersburg next week, and he said he'll give me an update next time we Skype. So, much as it has been the case with Grandpa Gena P. and his health troubles, all I can do is wait.
I get my dad not wanting to worry my grandfather. I don't fault him for that in the slightest. But he has my e-mail. Natasha has my Skype contact. I know that my dad and I, lets not mince words, suck at communicating with each other, and its a mutually perpetuated problem. But... This is my grandmother we're talking about. I even searched my inbox, just in case I missed an e-mail, but, unless it wound up in junkmail and got deleted, I haven't found so much as a short message.
Anyway...
You know what I keep thinking about? I keep thinking about how, unlike Grandma Nina, with her endless passive aggression and slights she stored to be weaponized later, Grandma Tanya always wore her heart of her sleeve and let you know exactly how she felt, for better of for worse. And I keep thinking about the last time I saw Grandma Valya, my great-grandmother, alive, back in 2006. By that point, she could no longer speak - she just babbled. But I remember the urgency in her voice, and remembered the lively, loving woman she was, and all I could do was hold her hand and try not to cry.