After the Eighth Chemo: Quite a bit more throwing up - and blood
Last week, I had a regular check up with my cancer doctor (there's an actual proper title for it, but that's what she basically is). I told her about what I've dubbed "the phantom vomits." She had a theory that they were psychological - nothing more than manifestation of my anxiety about potentially throwing up for real. A not entirely common, but not unheard of side-effect. The doctor said she could give me anti-anxiety meds, but they would knock me out for even longer than chemo does.
And I couldn't help but think - phantom vomits weren't that bad. Certainly not as bad as real vomits. I could handle it. And I told the doctor as much.
This chemo session put that to the test.
Oh boy did it ever.
It's something I haven't really talked about on this LJ (or online in general, really), but a day before I have chemo, I have to go to the hospital to give a blood sample. Just something to make sure there aren't any unexpected complications before I get chemo pumped into me. And normally, it happens without incident.
Not this time.
This time, it turned out that the lab that did the analysis screwed something up. So as soon as I got in, I had to give a blood sample again. And then wait over an hour for blood to get analyzed. Which didn't soothe my nerves any.
I had a fairly light phantom vomit before chemo. The nurse who handled the procedure brought me a barf bag before she started, just in case. I wound up not needing it - but once she got the IV and all the other tubing out of me, I went to the restroom and wound up having another, fairly light phantom vomit again.
So far, not so bad.
Half an hour after they let me go, I met my mom for lunch at Panera Bread. It became something of a tradition of ours after chemo sessions. As we stood in line, my stomach was already feelling unsettled, and I learned to trust my instincts, so I decided to get a soup instead of the usual soup/sandwich combo.
It wasn't long before I started feeling nauseous. This time, the phantom vomit was far more substancial, expelling what I've come to recognize as the anti-nausea medicine (which, as you may remember from my previous entries, I've been getting as an IV since my first full-on vomit during treatement a couple of sessions ago). I managed to finish the soup, felt a bit nauseous, but didn't throw up.
This was further compounded by the fact that,, by the time I got to Panera, I felt tired and irritable. My mom said I looked pale and talked very quietly. I didn't think I looked any different or talked any quieter than usual, but... When she found out that I had blood samples drawn twice over the course of the past two days, she theorized that it was enough to weaken me. And perhaps make the vomiting worse.
By the time I managed to finish my soup - and my mom finished a more full-fledged meal - I felt so tired that I decided to take the nearest 'L' train home.
I pretty much slept until I had to transfer from Brown Line to the Red Line.
And that's where I had a proper vomit. The entire soup wound up in the garbage can.
Last session, I only slept for a few hours. Not this time. Once my head hit the pillow, I was pretty much out cold until around 5:30 PM (when randirogue's and tweelore's responses to my earlier text messages woke me up. After that, I drifted back to sleep, woke up around 8:00 PM to call my mom and let her know that I was, at least, alive, and drifted back to sleep. I woke up around 11:30 PM and had... well, a not quite phantom vomit. And I soon drifted back to sleep, but not before I managed to take my contact lenses off and change for bed. And take anti-nausea medicine
I woke up around 10:00 AM. While I was in the shower, I felt nauseous enough to run for he toilet and, sure enough, throw up. This time, throwing up the anti-nausea med. At least the eight hours already passed, so it wasn't affective anyway. I tried having breakfast, but I only wound up finishing half of it and put the rest in the fridge.
While after the previous session, I actually managed to stay awake and be productive, I wasn't feeling so productive this Saturday. Couldn't concentrate enough to write anything. By about 5:00 PM, I started to drift off, so I hit the bed before falling asleep and not waking up until midnight.
And - you guessed it - I threw up again. And, once again, it was distinctly anti-nausea meds flavored vomit. Since the medicine supposedly already wore off by then, I didn't worry too much. I finished the second half of my breakfast, drank some tea, took some more anti-nausea medicine and tried to get some sleep.
I didn't fall asleep until around 4:00 AM. And didn't wake up until around 9:40 AM.
After I showered, I threw up - again. It didn't feel as bad as the previous ones, but the taste of anti-nausea medicine was still strong.
I had breakfast - which I finished in full. So far, it's staying down.
Not sure if I want to take anti-nausea meds, though.
And, to be honest, I'm feeling tired right now. I may wind up sleeping some more.
But hey - eight chemos down. Four chemos to go. I'm two thirds of the way through. And, however the side-effects wind up manifesting over the next month and a half, I'll only have to endure them four more times.
Compared to eight times I lived through already.
I try to take some comfort in that.