On cosplay, boundaries and sexual harrassment - featuring BelleChere
As I've written before, professional seamstress and cosplayer who goes by 
BelleChere is, while not as famous as daenerys, does have a fan following. And those fans sometimes ask questions.
And every once in a great while, we get something like this.
It started with a fairly standard question.
Anonymous asked: Would you ever act in an adult cosplay film/photoshoot?
Bellechere answered: There is not enough money that could be offered to me that would justify the head-spinning, crippling anxiety that would come with being naked/having sex in front of a camera.
I say "this is a pretty standard question," because cosplayers - or seemingly any Internet-famous person who goes before the camera and has mammaries - gets asked this question at least once. And I don't think there's anything wrong with it, per se. Cosplayers doing risque (if not outright nude) photos isn't exactlyundeard of. There's even a whole website for that sort of thing.
But - and this is very important - not everybody is going to want to do that. And there's nothing wrong with that, either. It's their bodies. What they want to do with them (or don't want to do with them) is entirely up to them. No one else.
If the anonymous inquirer stopped right there, it wouldn't be a blip on the radar. But he kept going.
rothstar asked: Um…aren’t you half naked in most of your cosplays anyway?
BelleChere answered: Actually, I’m only showing a lot of skin in 1/4 of my costumes, so that’s your own selective attention with the claim of ‘most’. Besides, half naked is not totally naked. That’s my personal line. I know plenty of people who would feel comfortable having pictures taken of them in their bathing suits (bathing suits tend to be skimpier than my costumes, BTW) yet would cringe at the thought of being photographed naked. If you can’t recognize or respect that distinction, kindly go step on a handful of d4s.
Notice that
BelleChere is still trying to be nice here, explaining exactly why she draws the line where she draws it. Even if she was showing skin in more costumes than she did, there is a world of difference between having some fabric and having none at all. And when it comes to how much skin a person is supposed to be comfortable with exposing, I'd defer to the person who would actually be exposing it.
But the guy still kept going.
rothstar asked: That sounds like it would hurt. I’m just saying if you’re so comfortable with your body what’s the big deal? Is it the stigma? Because honestly I think most adult film stars are well respected now a days and go on to lead successful careers. I just think it’s kind of funny…
BelleChere answered: I really hope you’re stepping on a handful of d4s. How about you go to a beach or a poolside and express to those in bathing suits that if they’re that comfortable with their body, then the next obvious step would be nude photography. Please keep a tally of how many times you’re punched in the throat and/or have the police called on you. Then we’ll see how funny it is.
And that's where the exchange ended.
The first thing that struck me in this entire exchange is that
rothstar didn't see her as a person. Her thoughts, feelings and personal boundaries weren't relevant because he wanted to see his fantasy come to live, damn it. The initial question, as I said, wasn't necessarily wrong, but the fact that he kept persisting, hoping for... what, that BelleChere would somehow, magically, change her mind?
Plus, as BelleChere said, he wouldn't say that to a random woman on the beach, but a person on the Internet... well, she's less real.
And thing is - I highly doubt BelleChere is the only female cosplayer who got asked questions like that. Or that they only one person asks. Which is pretty depressing.
So, to anybody who may feel like repeating rothstar's exchange - women are people, with thoughts, feelings and values of their own. Feelings, thoughts and values that deserve to be respected. Learn to take "no" for an answer. Learn when to bloody stop. And if you can't do something that simple, than why on Earth should anyone respect you?
BelleChere is, while not as famous as daenerys, does have a fan following. And those fans sometimes ask questions.
And every once in a great while, we get something like this.
It started with a fairly standard question.
Anonymous asked: Would you ever act in an adult cosplay film/photoshoot?
Bellechere answered: There is not enough money that could be offered to me that would justify the head-spinning, crippling anxiety that would come with being naked/having sex in front of a camera.
I say "this is a pretty standard question," because cosplayers - or seemingly any Internet-famous person who goes before the camera and has mammaries - gets asked this question at least once. And I don't think there's anything wrong with it, per se. Cosplayers doing risque (if not outright nude) photos isn't exactlyundeard of. There's even a whole website for that sort of thing.
But - and this is very important - not everybody is going to want to do that. And there's nothing wrong with that, either. It's their bodies. What they want to do with them (or don't want to do with them) is entirely up to them. No one else.
If the anonymous inquirer stopped right there, it wouldn't be a blip on the radar. But he kept going.
rothstar asked: Um…aren’t you half naked in most of your cosplays anyway?
BelleChere answered: Actually, I’m only showing a lot of skin in 1/4 of my costumes, so that’s your own selective attention with the claim of ‘most’. Besides, half naked is not totally naked. That’s my personal line. I know plenty of people who would feel comfortable having pictures taken of them in their bathing suits (bathing suits tend to be skimpier than my costumes, BTW) yet would cringe at the thought of being photographed naked. If you can’t recognize or respect that distinction, kindly go step on a handful of d4s.
Notice that
BelleChere is still trying to be nice here, explaining exactly why she draws the line where she draws it. Even if she was showing skin in more costumes than she did, there is a world of difference between having some fabric and having none at all. And when it comes to how much skin a person is supposed to be comfortable with exposing, I'd defer to the person who would actually be exposing it.
But the guy still kept going.
rothstar asked: That sounds like it would hurt. I’m just saying if you’re so comfortable with your body what’s the big deal? Is it the stigma? Because honestly I think most adult film stars are well respected now a days and go on to lead successful careers. I just think it’s kind of funny…
BelleChere answered: I really hope you’re stepping on a handful of d4s. How about you go to a beach or a poolside and express to those in bathing suits that if they’re that comfortable with their body, then the next obvious step would be nude photography. Please keep a tally of how many times you’re punched in the throat and/or have the police called on you. Then we’ll see how funny it is.
And that's where the exchange ended.
The first thing that struck me in this entire exchange is that
rothstar didn't see her as a person. Her thoughts, feelings and personal boundaries weren't relevant because he wanted to see his fantasy come to live, damn it. The initial question, as I said, wasn't necessarily wrong, but the fact that he kept persisting, hoping for... what, that BelleChere would somehow, magically, change her mind?
Plus, as BelleChere said, he wouldn't say that to a random woman on the beach, but a person on the Internet... well, she's less real.
And thing is - I highly doubt BelleChere is the only female cosplayer who got asked questions like that. Or that they only one person asks. Which is pretty depressing.
So, to anybody who may feel like repeating rothstar's exchange - women are people, with thoughts, feelings and values of their own. Feelings, thoughts and values that deserve to be respected. Learn to take "no" for an answer. Learn when to bloody stop. And if you can't do something that simple, than why on Earth should anyone respect you?