ROUGH DRAFT small who ficlet
The Doctor stroked his chin absently, brows furrowed, lips pursed. He
occasionally mumbled things under his breath, only to scoff at himself a
few seconds later.
After a time, he made a disgruntled noise and collapsed backward onto the metal
grating of the TARDIS.
"What's going on, then?" Rose sounded more annoyed than concerned as she stepped
out of one of the ship's side-rooms. "Did you just say 'bah'? Like a sheep? Don't
tell me you can regenerate into livestock..."
"No, I specifically heard 'bra'." Jack Harknesses' head poked around a door frame.
Rose rolled her eyes. "Of course you did - "
"-And as mystifying as they may be, they have nothing to do with our current problem.
I mean, if there were breasts involved I'm sure I could have fixed it by no-"
"Okay, someone needs to tell me what is going on. Right now."
There was a mumble from the floor.
"A what?" Rose was getting very frustrated.
"It's a sonic screw," said the Doctor.
"Now that's what I'm talkin' about," Jack said with a grin. His eyes widened as
he saw the warning glare he was getting from Rose, and he disappeared again.
"A sonic screw," Rose repeated slowly. "But you have a sonic screwdriver. This shouldn't
be a problem."
"But it is. I can't use the sonic screwdriver on it. Different sonic aspects can be volatile
to one another - and this is the TARDIS. She's made to withstand anything. Sonic screwdrivers (well,
except for certain parts), sonic locators, sonic waves, sonic blasts. We once landed in a convention
and were attacked by a sonic hedgehog, and -"
"So basically what you're telling me is... your screwdriver won't work."
"Well, yes, that's what I said."
"So you need a different screwdriver."
"Yes."
Rose stared at him blankly.
They heard rapid footsteps approaching from an inner hallway in the TARDIS.
"What in the WORLD is goin' on out here? I mean, I'm laying in there trying to sleep since, you know, I'm
exhausted from the WORLD almost ENDING yesterday, and now everybody is in here screamin' and yelling and making
naughty jokes. Yes, Jack, I heard you too, you can stop cowering behind the coat rack over there pretending to look
busy."
"Donna, I -" the Doctor started.
"His screwdriver is too sonic," Rose said.
Donna blinked and looked at the Doctor incredulously.
"TOO sonic? Too sonic. TOOOOOOO sonic. You don't say."
"The screws are sonic." Jack popped back in. "So his screwdriver won't work. Fancy-schmancy SONIC screws - what's
wrong with a regular screw? Everybody likes regular screws. I mean what if it had been sonic nails? At least you don't have to
find a different sonic hammer, those'll cost you a pretty penny."
Rose and Donna looked at each other. Rose giggled. The two left the TARDIS, Donna mumbling "men".
Jack and the Doctor looked at each other. Jack giggled. He left the inner room to go back to his bunk, mumbling "women. they're
sexy when they're angry."
___
Ten minutes later, the Doctor jumped, startled, as the door to the TARDIS opened. Rose and Donna were each carrying a small package, which
they tossed at him. He rolled to avoid being hit.
"What are these?" He picked up the packages and opened them, pulling out two small, narrow objects.
"They're screwdrivers," Rose said.
"Non-sonic screwdrivers," added Donna. "Screwdrivers... that aren't sonic."
"What?" The Doctor sounded baffled, his voice an octave highter.
"Whaat? You said yours was too sonic. These aren't sonic. Problem solved."
"But what is the difference? Why are there two? How do you know they're not even the teensiest bit sonic?"
Donna covered her face with her hand. "Because. They're. Not."
"You have to look at the screw to see which one of the screwdrivers it will fit," Rose said. "See how one has the little flat bit, and the
other looks more a point with different grooves?"
"Yes. Oookay." The Doctor examined the screwdrivers.
"Come on, Space Man!" Donna said. "You can save the world, surely you can save the screw."
"Just be careful not to strip it," Rose said.
"Strip what?" The Doctor asked.
"Who's stripping?" Jack's voice came down the hallway. He was ignored.
"Never mind. Just do it."
The Doctor positioned the screwdriver, tongue in cheek, and carefully screwed the little screw back in. Something beeped on the TARDIS' console, and a light came on.
Donna and Rose screamed, hugged each other, and jumped around with excitement. The Doctor pushed buttons on the console, grinning broadly as he set his ship back off through space and time.
Once the course was set he stared at the tool in his hand.
"It's a screwdriver. And it's not sonic."
occasionally mumbled things under his breath, only to scoff at himself a
few seconds later.
After a time, he made a disgruntled noise and collapsed backward onto the metal
grating of the TARDIS.
"What's going on, then?" Rose sounded more annoyed than concerned as she stepped
out of one of the ship's side-rooms. "Did you just say 'bah'? Like a sheep? Don't
tell me you can regenerate into livestock..."
"No, I specifically heard 'bra'." Jack Harknesses' head poked around a door frame.
Rose rolled her eyes. "Of course you did - "
"-And as mystifying as they may be, they have nothing to do with our current problem.
I mean, if there were breasts involved I'm sure I could have fixed it by no-"
"Okay, someone needs to tell me what is going on. Right now."
There was a mumble from the floor.
"A what?" Rose was getting very frustrated.
"It's a sonic screw," said the Doctor.
"Now that's what I'm talkin' about," Jack said with a grin. His eyes widened as
he saw the warning glare he was getting from Rose, and he disappeared again.
"A sonic screw," Rose repeated slowly. "But you have a sonic screwdriver. This shouldn't
be a problem."
"But it is. I can't use the sonic screwdriver on it. Different sonic aspects can be volatile
to one another - and this is the TARDIS. She's made to withstand anything. Sonic screwdrivers (well,
except for certain parts), sonic locators, sonic waves, sonic blasts. We once landed in a convention
and were attacked by a sonic hedgehog, and -"
"So basically what you're telling me is... your screwdriver won't work."
"Well, yes, that's what I said."
"So you need a different screwdriver."
"Yes."
Rose stared at him blankly.
They heard rapid footsteps approaching from an inner hallway in the TARDIS.
"What in the WORLD is goin' on out here? I mean, I'm laying in there trying to sleep since, you know, I'm
exhausted from the WORLD almost ENDING yesterday, and now everybody is in here screamin' and yelling and making
naughty jokes. Yes, Jack, I heard you too, you can stop cowering behind the coat rack over there pretending to look
busy."
"Donna, I -" the Doctor started.
"His screwdriver is too sonic," Rose said.
Donna blinked and looked at the Doctor incredulously.
"TOO sonic? Too sonic. TOOOOOOO sonic. You don't say."
"The screws are sonic." Jack popped back in. "So his screwdriver won't work. Fancy-schmancy SONIC screws - what's
wrong with a regular screw? Everybody likes regular screws. I mean what if it had been sonic nails? At least you don't have to
find a different sonic hammer, those'll cost you a pretty penny."
Rose and Donna looked at each other. Rose giggled. The two left the TARDIS, Donna mumbling "men".
Jack and the Doctor looked at each other. Jack giggled. He left the inner room to go back to his bunk, mumbling "women. they're
sexy when they're angry."
___
Ten minutes later, the Doctor jumped, startled, as the door to the TARDIS opened. Rose and Donna were each carrying a small package, which
they tossed at him. He rolled to avoid being hit.
"What are these?" He picked up the packages and opened them, pulling out two small, narrow objects.
"They're screwdrivers," Rose said.
"Non-sonic screwdrivers," added Donna. "Screwdrivers... that aren't sonic."
"What?" The Doctor sounded baffled, his voice an octave highter.
"Whaat? You said yours was too sonic. These aren't sonic. Problem solved."
"But what is the difference? Why are there two? How do you know they're not even the teensiest bit sonic?"
Donna covered her face with her hand. "Because. They're. Not."
"You have to look at the screw to see which one of the screwdrivers it will fit," Rose said. "See how one has the little flat bit, and the
other looks more a point with different grooves?"
"Yes. Oookay." The Doctor examined the screwdrivers.
"Come on, Space Man!" Donna said. "You can save the world, surely you can save the screw."
"Just be careful not to strip it," Rose said.
"Strip what?" The Doctor asked.
"Who's stripping?" Jack's voice came down the hallway. He was ignored.
"Never mind. Just do it."
The Doctor positioned the screwdriver, tongue in cheek, and carefully screwed the little screw back in. Something beeped on the TARDIS' console, and a light came on.
Donna and Rose screamed, hugged each other, and jumped around with excitement. The Doctor pushed buttons on the console, grinning broadly as he set his ship back off through space and time.
Once the course was set he stared at the tool in his hand.
"It's a screwdriver. And it's not sonic."