#44 - 51 100 Drabbles of Summer
# 44 Baggage
The heat of summer. I feel it, it sinks into me like I am a dried out sponge aching for heat and wet. My soul is tired and the heat makes it worse. Where do you go when the soul gets tired? Where do you go to rest and to set down what you carry? We all carry, in our heads, our heart, our shoulders. Baggage, things we can not leave behind, that have a dominion and power that is frightening.
Who am I to complain? Mine is not so heavy compared to others.
# 45 The Last Time You Were Late
I am nineteen and I am late. I am nineteen with no concept of self, of others, of the world. I am like every single other nineteen year old girl in the world except I am late.
I am nineteen and in college, on my own, away from the structured world my parents have created for me. Not loving, not safe, structured.
I am wondering where I am going to get ten dollars for a fucking pregnancy test. I am wondering who's it is. I am late. It happens.
In the end, it did not happen.
# 47 Summer Sport
The hood of the car is still warm from running, equal to but not greater then the heat of the person pressed up against her. Of the feel of his lips, the roaming of his hands under her skirt, over her thighs. Till they pull back and breathe fire.
The sun slowly sets, dripping down the sky taking it with it the excess heat that it gave that day. An artificial sun is erected in its place that crackles against the night sky.
Her lips are heat, her hands roam where others roamed before. Breathing fire.
# 48 Revelation
The revelation is simple and discovered by accident. She can not remember what day it was that she discovered this fact, only that it was night, late at night. Remember this: that it has never been talked about out loud, just read, just discovered by accident.
The revelation however is devastating. If your own mother didn't want you then who ever would? The events before, the events after don't seem to make much of a difference. Rarely do they ever when a person is hurt. We are fragile, we do not mend easily.
# 49 Accidental Discovery
My first exposure to pornography was in the parking lot of a Methodist church. I think I was in middle school and was walking home when I stopped to cross the street. The church was right across from my house and at the stop sign was the magazine. Wrinkled but surprisingly glossy for being exposed to the elements. I had never seen a naked person before, never thought about naked people before. This was a little shocking, needless to say.
At my feet a magazine filled with naked, beautiful women having sex with animals. Fuck.
# 50 Treasure
She is silent in her joy, in her excitement. Like her ache and sadness she keeps her happiness in impending motherhood a secret. Too much of one is being a burden, too much of the other is being annoying. So she smiles to herself, touches her stomach and keeps the growing number of the pictures to herself.
A treasured possession. Something that makes her happy and something to love and watch grow. Almost a secret because even if people know - the do not know - not truly and that makes her smile all the wider.
# 51 Bugs
The park is perfect in early summer for a picnic. A five year old Atlas helps mom spread the red and white checkered table cloth on the grass before flopping down on it and rolling around. Rolling up into Delia she scoops him up and gives him kisses before setting him down. They enjoy the sandwiches and fruit she packed earlier that morning.
When Delia looks over at her boy after a few minutes of silence she notices something black on his fingers and teeth.
"Baby, what's that?"
"Yummy bugs mommy!"
Delia turns a little pale and quickly cleans him up.
The heat of summer. I feel it, it sinks into me like I am a dried out sponge aching for heat and wet. My soul is tired and the heat makes it worse. Where do you go when the soul gets tired? Where do you go to rest and to set down what you carry? We all carry, in our heads, our heart, our shoulders. Baggage, things we can not leave behind, that have a dominion and power that is frightening.
Who am I to complain? Mine is not so heavy compared to others.
# 45 The Last Time You Were Late
I am nineteen and I am late. I am nineteen with no concept of self, of others, of the world. I am like every single other nineteen year old girl in the world except I am late.
I am nineteen and in college, on my own, away from the structured world my parents have created for me. Not loving, not safe, structured.
I am wondering where I am going to get ten dollars for a fucking pregnancy test. I am wondering who's it is. I am late. It happens.
In the end, it did not happen.
# 47 Summer Sport
The hood of the car is still warm from running, equal to but not greater then the heat of the person pressed up against her. Of the feel of his lips, the roaming of his hands under her skirt, over her thighs. Till they pull back and breathe fire.
The sun slowly sets, dripping down the sky taking it with it the excess heat that it gave that day. An artificial sun is erected in its place that crackles against the night sky.
Her lips are heat, her hands roam where others roamed before. Breathing fire.
# 48 Revelation
The revelation is simple and discovered by accident. She can not remember what day it was that she discovered this fact, only that it was night, late at night. Remember this: that it has never been talked about out loud, just read, just discovered by accident.
The revelation however is devastating. If your own mother didn't want you then who ever would? The events before, the events after don't seem to make much of a difference. Rarely do they ever when a person is hurt. We are fragile, we do not mend easily.
# 49 Accidental Discovery
My first exposure to pornography was in the parking lot of a Methodist church. I think I was in middle school and was walking home when I stopped to cross the street. The church was right across from my house and at the stop sign was the magazine. Wrinkled but surprisingly glossy for being exposed to the elements. I had never seen a naked person before, never thought about naked people before. This was a little shocking, needless to say.
At my feet a magazine filled with naked, beautiful women having sex with animals. Fuck.
# 50 Treasure
She is silent in her joy, in her excitement. Like her ache and sadness she keeps her happiness in impending motherhood a secret. Too much of one is being a burden, too much of the other is being annoying. So she smiles to herself, touches her stomach and keeps the growing number of the pictures to herself.
A treasured possession. Something that makes her happy and something to love and watch grow. Almost a secret because even if people know - the do not know - not truly and that makes her smile all the wider.
# 51 Bugs
The park is perfect in early summer for a picnic. A five year old Atlas helps mom spread the red and white checkered table cloth on the grass before flopping down on it and rolling around. Rolling up into Delia she scoops him up and gives him kisses before setting him down. They enjoy the sandwiches and fruit she packed earlier that morning.
When Delia looks over at her boy after a few minutes of silence she notices something black on his fingers and teeth.
"Baby, what's that?"
"Yummy bugs mommy!"
Delia turns a little pale and quickly cleans him up.