(no subject)
I don’t lead an exciting life. There are moments of oddity, of bizarre behavior, awkward conversations and what the fucker-y but generally I strive to maintain the status quo and be normal. What goes on in my head is wildly more fantastic then what happens in real life, and most of that is just for comedic value because if you can’t laugh at how wildly absurd life is then you’ll never get out alive.
That being said, there are some things that breach the realm of what-the-fucker-y that I just can’t even make up. Most of it involves the bathroom on our floor. This bathroom is cursed. There’s usually something wrong with it. Faucets that won’t stop running. Faucets that won’t run at all. Toilets that won’t flush right. Just, everything that can go wrong has.
However this bathroom has breached a new standard of gross going back to about January. At that time someone actually peed on the floor, and when they weren’t peeing on the floor they were peeing on the toilet seat.
A side note: for the men in the audience, I will explain how this is a little unsettling. First, women sit down to pee (generally) and therefore one is left wondering on HOW that got on the seat. Second, when the toilet seat is dirty we all kind of suffer. Third, if you make a mess why do you LEAVE it a mess?
There was rampant speculation on who was doing this and why they were doing it. It was the topic of discussion for many lunch hours and just general conversation which I found disturbing.
Side note two: In the change that I am giving too much information I will say this: I have a huge issue with public restrooms. They’re dirty and disgusting and I have a hard time using them when there is another person around (stage fright). Also: people who hold conversations with people in the restroom are troubling to me. If I am peeing you should NOT be talking to me, seriously guys, c’mon.
In the end the matter was resolved. The woman who was doing it was not a transvestite but simply holding herself up off the seat to pee (squatting, whatever, what have you). It was resolved by putting those toilet seat covers in the bathroom.
What started up a month or two ago was a bit more unsettling. Disturbing even. Just down right disgusting. Instead of urine on the seat there was fecal matter.
Now what very few people (at least on here) know about me is that my first year in college was spent in an all girls dorm. It was really fantastic actually, the girls were great and we had a lot of fun. In my time in this dorm, I came to the startling realization that women are filthy. Not in the leather, chains, and let me call you daddy kind of way. I mean just, gross. The woman’s rest room was befouled on numerous occasions with many different types of - bodily fluids. Why? Who knows, as a keen observer of the human carnivore there are just some places that even I dare not tread.
Why do women shit all over the place?
Why did BTK do what he did to all those people?
The world will never, ever know, and perhaps it just doesn’t want to know. Which is fine because it’s fucking disgusting.
Now, my department doesn’t take up the WHOLE floor. No, there is technical and then legal also on the same floor so when I have a legal question I can slide up to someone’s office and ask it. Generally however I send email because I really don’t like making eye contact when I don’t have to.
Still, an email went out to all the ladies on the floor from the management to please cease and desist crapping all over the place. The email asked to please keep up the level of cleanliness that comes with being young professionals and speculated that the culprit was actually doing this maliciously and intentionally. Further more the cleaning crew (is that PC?) were grossed out by the whole thing. Which is understandable because, at the risk of being repetitious: it’s fucking disgusting.
Emails went out, fingers were pointed, the whole damn email was printed out, highlighted and taped to the door of the first stall like Martin Luther and the 95 Thesis. Clearly this was a big thing, EVERYONE was denying responsibility, it was like the hunt for Jack the Ripper was on and the whole floor was alight with rumors and speculation.
Until the culprit was caught. A wide hipped woman who shall remain nameless (mainly because no one knows her name).
Her down fall was rather unremarkable unlike her terrorization of the woman’s restroom, which brings forth mixed feelings in me. I feel like there should have been more of a mystery, more of a chase, but like I said what happens in my head and what happens in the real world are vastly different.
A woman from the legal department was using the restroom that was occupied when she entered. Through a series of events (not too hard to figure out) the woman grew suspicious of the other occupant in the restroom. When that occupant left, the woman from legal checked in the stall to see that the woman had, indeed left a mess. That woman was the wide hipped woman who shall remain nameless.
No word yet on if anyone has talked with the wide hipped woman about this situation. If it will be resolved in a peaceable manner. A lot of questions remain unanswered a lot of speculation to the why of this situation. Life is strange that is for certain and really all you can do is sit back and enjoy the ride.
That being said, there are some things that breach the realm of what-the-fucker-y that I just can’t even make up. Most of it involves the bathroom on our floor. This bathroom is cursed. There’s usually something wrong with it. Faucets that won’t stop running. Faucets that won’t run at all. Toilets that won’t flush right. Just, everything that can go wrong has.
However this bathroom has breached a new standard of gross going back to about January. At that time someone actually peed on the floor, and when they weren’t peeing on the floor they were peeing on the toilet seat.
A side note: for the men in the audience, I will explain how this is a little unsettling. First, women sit down to pee (generally) and therefore one is left wondering on HOW that got on the seat. Second, when the toilet seat is dirty we all kind of suffer. Third, if you make a mess why do you LEAVE it a mess?
There was rampant speculation on who was doing this and why they were doing it. It was the topic of discussion for many lunch hours and just general conversation which I found disturbing.
Side note two: In the change that I am giving too much information I will say this: I have a huge issue with public restrooms. They’re dirty and disgusting and I have a hard time using them when there is another person around (stage fright). Also: people who hold conversations with people in the restroom are troubling to me. If I am peeing you should NOT be talking to me, seriously guys, c’mon.
In the end the matter was resolved. The woman who was doing it was not a transvestite but simply holding herself up off the seat to pee (squatting, whatever, what have you). It was resolved by putting those toilet seat covers in the bathroom.
What started up a month or two ago was a bit more unsettling. Disturbing even. Just down right disgusting. Instead of urine on the seat there was fecal matter.
Now what very few people (at least on here) know about me is that my first year in college was spent in an all girls dorm. It was really fantastic actually, the girls were great and we had a lot of fun. In my time in this dorm, I came to the startling realization that women are filthy. Not in the leather, chains, and let me call you daddy kind of way. I mean just, gross. The woman’s rest room was befouled on numerous occasions with many different types of - bodily fluids. Why? Who knows, as a keen observer of the human carnivore there are just some places that even I dare not tread.
Why do women shit all over the place?
Why did BTK do what he did to all those people?
The world will never, ever know, and perhaps it just doesn’t want to know. Which is fine because it’s fucking disgusting.
Now, my department doesn’t take up the WHOLE floor. No, there is technical and then legal also on the same floor so when I have a legal question I can slide up to someone’s office and ask it. Generally however I send email because I really don’t like making eye contact when I don’t have to.
Still, an email went out to all the ladies on the floor from the management to please cease and desist crapping all over the place. The email asked to please keep up the level of cleanliness that comes with being young professionals and speculated that the culprit was actually doing this maliciously and intentionally. Further more the cleaning crew (is that PC?) were grossed out by the whole thing. Which is understandable because, at the risk of being repetitious: it’s fucking disgusting.
Emails went out, fingers were pointed, the whole damn email was printed out, highlighted and taped to the door of the first stall like Martin Luther and the 95 Thesis. Clearly this was a big thing, EVERYONE was denying responsibility, it was like the hunt for Jack the Ripper was on and the whole floor was alight with rumors and speculation.
Until the culprit was caught. A wide hipped woman who shall remain nameless (mainly because no one knows her name).
Her down fall was rather unremarkable unlike her terrorization of the woman’s restroom, which brings forth mixed feelings in me. I feel like there should have been more of a mystery, more of a chase, but like I said what happens in my head and what happens in the real world are vastly different.
A woman from the legal department was using the restroom that was occupied when she entered. Through a series of events (not too hard to figure out) the woman grew suspicious of the other occupant in the restroom. When that occupant left, the woman from legal checked in the stall to see that the woman had, indeed left a mess. That woman was the wide hipped woman who shall remain nameless.
No word yet on if anyone has talked with the wide hipped woman about this situation. If it will be resolved in a peaceable manner. A lot of questions remain unanswered a lot of speculation to the why of this situation. Life is strange that is for certain and really all you can do is sit back and enjoy the ride.