(no subject)
last night i set off to drive a car to salt lake for some friends. neither of them have a driver's licence and all their stuff is being stored there. the idea was for my friend chico to give us all a ride up and i would drive the uhaul down to moab. chico has a shiny new black subaru outback. he was tired, and so i drove. we started after my friend Mary got off her job at 930pm. all was going well until 10 miles from Moab a drunk driver slammed into the passanger side of the car, which the cruise was set at 70mph. i have never never never felt such force.... all the windows shattered as we rolled across the highway, finally skidding 350 yards upside down.... sparks were flying everywhere, and there was the smell of burning hair and blood. lots and lots of blood. i felt my face slam into something. all i could hear was someone yelling 'get out of the car! get out of the car!' i undid my seatbelt somehow, and crawled out of the driver's window. we had to pull chico out. and he stumbled down the asphalt looking for his computer. blood was everywhere. i looked at my arm and realized how it looked like i was some fairy creature with glittery skin from all the tiny pieces of glass that had stuck to me, slicing me in a thousand places and held there by the light of panicy flashlights.
my nose is broken, but i am alright.
i had to forget myself to keep someone i loved from dark places, and missteps.
here is the car i was driving last night.
if it weren't a subaru, i wouldn't be alive. if i weren't wearing a tiny piece of nylon sash that fits into a shiny metal clasp, i wouldn't be alive and neither would anyone in that car. and although my nose looks like a blooming mushroom, i have never felt more beautiful because i know that i am. i just am. and to all my loved ones whom i have turned away from or the communication has not been the consistant golden thread i would like it to be, i say that it's all very instant, and it's all very clear. clarity can take a lifetime, and can sometimes demand the life it has finally arrived in. but it is within reach in that span of familier hands, or that space between syllables or lovers or death.
my nose is broken, but i am alright.
i had to forget myself to keep someone i loved from dark places, and missteps.
here is the car i was driving last night.
if it weren't a subaru, i wouldn't be alive. if i weren't wearing a tiny piece of nylon sash that fits into a shiny metal clasp, i wouldn't be alive and neither would anyone in that car. and although my nose looks like a blooming mushroom, i have never felt more beautiful because i know that i am. i just am. and to all my loved ones whom i have turned away from or the communication has not been the consistant golden thread i would like it to be, i say that it's all very instant, and it's all very clear. clarity can take a lifetime, and can sometimes demand the life it has finally arrived in. but it is within reach in that span of familier hands, or that space between syllables or lovers or death.