Luke Skywalker: Jedi or Dumbass?
It's stuff like this that makes Topless Robot probably my favorite blog on these interwebz:
Let us imagine that Luke Skywalker is trying to tell you his plan to rescue Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt.
Luke: “Okay so, first we get Lando Calrissian posing as a guard inside Jabba’s Palace.”
You: “How do we do that?”
Luke: “We just get him a costume and he-just walks in.”
You: “Um, okay, say it’s that easy. So then Lando gets Han out of the carbonite and we pick them up and get away?”
Luke: “No. What happens next is that I put my lightsaber in a hidden compartment in R2-D2 and send R2-D2 and C3PO to Jabba the Hutt as gifts.”
You: “Wait, why-“
Luke: “Just listen. Next we have Leia pose as a bounty hunter arriving at Jabba’s palace with Chewbacca captured. She’s going to hand over Chewbacca to Jabba.”
You: “Wait, why? Wouldn’t that mean we would now have to rescue Han Solo, Chewbacca, R2-D2 and C3PO? That just makes it more difficult, right?”
Luke: “Just go with me here. Next, Leia is going to sneak around at night and get Han Solo out of the carbonite, but get captured.”
You: “What? Why would we get everyone captured like that?”
Luke: “Now I’ll show up, use my Force powers to get in to Jabba’s fortress, get past the guards to an audience before Jabba and then use my Jedi mind trick to get Jabba to release everyone. If that doesn’t work, then I’ll get captured.”
You: “That is the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard of.”
The rest of the article (The 5 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is a Complete Idiot) is just as damn funny.
Let us imagine that Luke Skywalker is trying to tell you his plan to rescue Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt.
Luke: “Okay so, first we get Lando Calrissian posing as a guard inside Jabba’s Palace.”
You: “How do we do that?”
Luke: “We just get him a costume and he-just walks in.”
You: “Um, okay, say it’s that easy. So then Lando gets Han out of the carbonite and we pick them up and get away?”
Luke: “No. What happens next is that I put my lightsaber in a hidden compartment in R2-D2 and send R2-D2 and C3PO to Jabba the Hutt as gifts.”
You: “Wait, why-“
Luke: “Just listen. Next we have Leia pose as a bounty hunter arriving at Jabba’s palace with Chewbacca captured. She’s going to hand over Chewbacca to Jabba.”
You: “Wait, why? Wouldn’t that mean we would now have to rescue Han Solo, Chewbacca, R2-D2 and C3PO? That just makes it more difficult, right?”
Luke: “Just go with me here. Next, Leia is going to sneak around at night and get Han Solo out of the carbonite, but get captured.”
You: “What? Why would we get everyone captured like that?”
Luke: “Now I’ll show up, use my Force powers to get in to Jabba’s fortress, get past the guards to an audience before Jabba and then use my Jedi mind trick to get Jabba to release everyone. If that doesn’t work, then I’ll get captured.”
You: “That is the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard of.”
The rest of the article (The 5 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is a Complete Idiot) is just as damn funny.