(no subject)
Part One, written on Thursday May 11
Today's been kinda hard to begin with. But- it got much harder.
I had slept late because I had trouble sleeping. Then I was playing computer games and Dan (my roommate) walked by my open door like he was going to his room- but he stopped and turned and gave me an odd look. It was so strange I laughed (he has been silly in the past) and he said something like- What are you laughing at?! I said "You had a funny look." He asked "What do you *think* that look meant?" And I said I didn't honestly didn't know.
He was in the living room and I could *hear* him slamming things and stuff. He slammed Hal's phone really hard on something when it rang and I just- really expected him to start screaming and breaking things. I was NOT comfortable there.
My friend Amanda picked me up and I went grocery shopping- and then I asked her to come in when I was putting my groceries away before she gave me a ride somewhere. You could *smell* the liqour at the front *steps*- I think he'd spilled some there. She was helping me put away groceries when he came up and he was- clearly drunk, his hair was all really messed and he started saying how he'd had an "altercation" with Hal, the other roommate, about "Stuff *I* was responsible for" and he was really- feeling very, very agressive. I told him very neutrally it didn't seem right for *him* to have to deal with that, and he said something about- talking about it later. Apparently when I had my back turned he *grabbed* a bag Amanda was folding and *threw* it on the floor and gave her
this *look* like- what are you *doing*?
It felt- like when I was in the hospital and the staff were about to have to take someone down- like where they call on the loudspeakers for all available staff because someone's phhysicallly flipping out.
I- was not in the assasin trained/response place. I was in the- oh my GOD get me out of here place. I- knew that was nearby, though. I don't ever want- to be in that space.
I was really upset when I left- I'm at another friends house now. The kids are really upset that we don't have the blanket Lynette lent us or our new stuffed dragon and scared- I'm pretty sure that- he won't hurt my cat and is- not too likely to mess with my stuff, but- I don't feel safe being there tonight.
I'm still calm but- I can feel the edges of utterly breaking down nearby, too.
not sure whose here w/Daniel
Part Two, written Sunday
Here's the update on my continuing roommate crisis.
Yesterday's birthday party went well. (Aside from my occasional bouts of anxiety re: roommates). Afterwards I went to the house with my friend Amanada. We could hear that Dan was home and started playing his music louder and louder once I'd gotten home. He stormed out of his room, looked into my room, said "Oh, it's *you*." and turned around and went back into his room. Very unnerving.
I'd already decided at this point to stay over at my friend Amanda's house. I was unhappy that my cat had to stay there- poor baby had been hiding under the bed when I got home! But I spent a little while petting him and talking to him and that seemed to help.
Then- I was cleaning the cat box and when I came back in Dan was standing by the door to my room- Amanda said he'd been giving her this *really* creepy "nice on top and utterly dangerously psychotic underneath" look and *smiling* at her- and he said "Hi Daniel" in this- really *weird* way.
Then- I run into Hal, the other roommate, whose on the way out. He doesn't have much time to talk- I say that things are getting really out of hand with Dan. He agrees with me- THIS is where the shit hits the fan.
Hal tells me that yesterday Dan threatened to kill Hal and his cat (said he'd felt like that "sometimes"). He ALSO threatened to kill Hal in his SLEEP. DAN apparently called the cops for some insane reason, and then DENIED having called them when they got there, and argued with them so antagonistically that one of the COPS said to Hal privately that it was a lot like the people who "suicide by cop"! Apparently Dan ALSO picked up Hal's phone (which is in the living room) and answered a call when someone kept calling and was very verbally abusive to Hal's DAD. He also trashed some of Hal's stuff- some of his vintage 60's posters and stuff.
Hal agreed this needs to be dealt with RIGHT away, and that he wants Dan OUT of there, and that we need to talk *soon*. Unfortunately, he doesn't have a cell phone, but I'm going to call him today... He said he was afraid having the police more involved would only agrrievate the situation but that he's willing to, and will definetly do so if this gets worse or continues...
I've been- remarkably calm, I think, in all of this. And my friend Leilani was being weird and insecure and upset that night before I'd been- really upset and crying and not woken her up (she was in the next room). That's- partly not anything personal- I do NOT wake people up, at least not in *person*, when I'm having a hard time. Lots of reasons- childhood and my abusive ex. And- I hadn't felt like she was being sympathetic or "got" in when I'd talked to her earlier. She tried to put that on me- say it was because I hadn't communicated clearly- but how come everyone else (including the people here who responded to my message) seemed to *get* it immediately?
On one hand- I feel much better about Hal as a person, thinking about all of this, and as a roommate (he's messy- so what? *sigh) as I realize that quite a lot of the negative stuff I'd gotten about him was from Dan, who um, was probably never reliable to begin with...
On the other hand, Dan threatened to KILL him while he SLEPT! That is SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP.
So instead of feeling like *I* have to move- I feel like how the hell are we going to get rid of the scary/crazy/fucked UP person?!
Although I won't know this for sure until I talk to him, I strongly suspect that Hal's illegally sub-letting the apartment, which makes it harder to say, get the landlord involved to kick Dan out...
I'm going to do my best to be online daily with updates- and I'm not going by the house w/o an escort at this point, both to modulate his behaviour and to be a witness. And- yeah. I really didn't need this at ALL- certianly not right NOW, but... I'm dealing, so far. It helped that I got some stuff last night, like my new dragon, and saw my cat was ok.
D.
Today's been kinda hard to begin with. But- it got much harder.
I had slept late because I had trouble sleeping. Then I was playing computer games and Dan (my roommate) walked by my open door like he was going to his room- but he stopped and turned and gave me an odd look. It was so strange I laughed (he has been silly in the past) and he said something like- What are you laughing at?! I said "You had a funny look." He asked "What do you *think* that look meant?" And I said I didn't honestly didn't know.
He was in the living room and I could *hear* him slamming things and stuff. He slammed Hal's phone really hard on something when it rang and I just- really expected him to start screaming and breaking things. I was NOT comfortable there.
My friend Amanda picked me up and I went grocery shopping- and then I asked her to come in when I was putting my groceries away before she gave me a ride somewhere. You could *smell* the liqour at the front *steps*- I think he'd spilled some there. She was helping me put away groceries when he came up and he was- clearly drunk, his hair was all really messed and he started saying how he'd had an "altercation" with Hal, the other roommate, about "Stuff *I* was responsible for" and he was really- feeling very, very agressive. I told him very neutrally it didn't seem right for *him* to have to deal with that, and he said something about- talking about it later. Apparently when I had my back turned he *grabbed* a bag Amanda was folding and *threw* it on the floor and gave her
this *look* like- what are you *doing*?
It felt- like when I was in the hospital and the staff were about to have to take someone down- like where they call on the loudspeakers for all available staff because someone's phhysicallly flipping out.
I- was not in the assasin trained/response place. I was in the- oh my GOD get me out of here place. I- knew that was nearby, though. I don't ever want- to be in that space.
I was really upset when I left- I'm at another friends house now. The kids are really upset that we don't have the blanket Lynette lent us or our new stuffed dragon and scared- I'm pretty sure that- he won't hurt my cat and is- not too likely to mess with my stuff, but- I don't feel safe being there tonight.
I'm still calm but- I can feel the edges of utterly breaking down nearby, too.
not sure whose here w/Daniel
Part Two, written Sunday
Here's the update on my continuing roommate crisis.
Yesterday's birthday party went well. (Aside from my occasional bouts of anxiety re: roommates). Afterwards I went to the house with my friend Amanada. We could hear that Dan was home and started playing his music louder and louder once I'd gotten home. He stormed out of his room, looked into my room, said "Oh, it's *you*." and turned around and went back into his room. Very unnerving.
I'd already decided at this point to stay over at my friend Amanda's house. I was unhappy that my cat had to stay there- poor baby had been hiding under the bed when I got home! But I spent a little while petting him and talking to him and that seemed to help.
Then- I was cleaning the cat box and when I came back in Dan was standing by the door to my room- Amanda said he'd been giving her this *really* creepy "nice on top and utterly dangerously psychotic underneath" look and *smiling* at her- and he said "Hi Daniel" in this- really *weird* way.
Then- I run into Hal, the other roommate, whose on the way out. He doesn't have much time to talk- I say that things are getting really out of hand with Dan. He agrees with me- THIS is where the shit hits the fan.
Hal tells me that yesterday Dan threatened to kill Hal and his cat (said he'd felt like that "sometimes"). He ALSO threatened to kill Hal in his SLEEP. DAN apparently called the cops for some insane reason, and then DENIED having called them when they got there, and argued with them so antagonistically that one of the COPS said to Hal privately that it was a lot like the people who "suicide by cop"! Apparently Dan ALSO picked up Hal's phone (which is in the living room) and answered a call when someone kept calling and was very verbally abusive to Hal's DAD. He also trashed some of Hal's stuff- some of his vintage 60's posters and stuff.
Hal agreed this needs to be dealt with RIGHT away, and that he wants Dan OUT of there, and that we need to talk *soon*. Unfortunately, he doesn't have a cell phone, but I'm going to call him today... He said he was afraid having the police more involved would only agrrievate the situation but that he's willing to, and will definetly do so if this gets worse or continues...
I've been- remarkably calm, I think, in all of this. And my friend Leilani was being weird and insecure and upset that night before I'd been- really upset and crying and not woken her up (she was in the next room). That's- partly not anything personal- I do NOT wake people up, at least not in *person*, when I'm having a hard time. Lots of reasons- childhood and my abusive ex. And- I hadn't felt like she was being sympathetic or "got" in when I'd talked to her earlier. She tried to put that on me- say it was because I hadn't communicated clearly- but how come everyone else (including the people here who responded to my message) seemed to *get* it immediately?
On one hand- I feel much better about Hal as a person, thinking about all of this, and as a roommate (he's messy- so what? *sigh) as I realize that quite a lot of the negative stuff I'd gotten about him was from Dan, who um, was probably never reliable to begin with...
On the other hand, Dan threatened to KILL him while he SLEPT! That is SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP.
So instead of feeling like *I* have to move- I feel like how the hell are we going to get rid of the scary/crazy/fucked UP person?!
Although I won't know this for sure until I talk to him, I strongly suspect that Hal's illegally sub-letting the apartment, which makes it harder to say, get the landlord involved to kick Dan out...
I'm going to do my best to be online daily with updates- and I'm not going by the house w/o an escort at this point, both to modulate his behaviour and to be a witness. And- yeah. I really didn't need this at ALL- certianly not right NOW, but... I'm dealing, so far. It helped that I got some stuff last night, like my new dragon, and saw my cat was ok.
D.