Round 3 Strangers: Primeval
Primeval
Vid Used
"All These Things That I've Done" by killabeez (killa @ slashcity.com)
download: http://killabeez.livejournal.com/286979.html
Grokker Synopsis
We had no Grokker for this show, so this is what I was able to glean from Wikipedia (I’m not sure it helps at all, but it sure makes the show sound interesting):
Primeval is a British science fiction television programme produced for ITV by Impossible Pictures. The show follows a team of five scientists tasked with investigating the appearance of temporal anomalies across Great Britain and containing prehistoric and futuristic creatures which enter the present. The series takes place in, and is just a small section of an extensive alternate universe, nicknamed the Primeverse by fans.
The Primeverse has numerous self-contained eras that the characters explore over the course of the series. Many of these eras are based on locations from previous series such as Walking with Dinosaurs and Prehistoric Park, though some of the eras seen are completely fictional and were created for this series while others are real places. The universe is as technologically advanced as our own, but is also home to strange and apparently supernatural phenomena.
Professor Nick Cutter's first journeys, in Series One, take him through many eras in order to search for his wife Helen and to try to prevent prehistoric beasts from invading the present. In series two, Nick Cutter's main aim appears to be rescuing Claudia Brown and maintaining the conspiracy around the anomalies.
In the Primeval universe, travel between eras is normally not possible. The series centers on a new phenomenon called 'the anomaly.' Anomalies puncture the space-time continuum and allow access to an infinite number of eras, although, technically speaking, these eras are actually the same place, just at different stages of evolutionary development. Each era, when not linked by an anomaly, is disconnected from the others and exists separately, cut off on the timeline. Most characters and creatures in the eras are unaware of the existence of the other times, but some notable characters are aware.
The results of any meddling in the past becomes incorporated into the present, suggesting that the Primeval universe is in a state of near constant flux.
Stranger Synopses
Stranger 1
All I knew about this fandom was:
Probably a live-action television series. Also for some reason I suspect it has vampires.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
So Primeval follows the basic framework of your old-fashioned buddy-cop show. One of the buddies looks like the blond love-child of Alan Alda and Alan Tudyk, so I'm going to call him Alan. The other one looks disconcertingly like an older Harry Potter - every few seconds the camera will catch him at just the right angle and I swear he could be played by Daniel Radcliffe - so we're going to call him James.
Since Alan is the blond guy, I bet that when people write slash about him, he always ends up bottoming. I think I speak for Illya, Hutch, and Doyle too when I say that's BS and when the simmering sexual tension finally resolves into sex, it'll totally be Alan tying James to the headboard. (Man, I hope people write a ton of old-fashioned slash about them. You know, stories where James get shot or something, and Alan holds him in his arms while he bleeds out and whispers that he loves him, and then James gets cured by Alan's manly tears, because of their soulbond, and then they have gentle, loving, manly sex even though they're not gay. Not that that has anything to do with the video.)
Alan and James are gun-totin', two-fisted scientists who work for an institution that does stuff like kill ghosts with flamethrowers and walk through swirly portals. And then they drag things back to their big white building with the cool architecture and do research on them. Given the pterodactyl in the Hub, I'm going to go ahead and say it: they appear to be Torchwood Four. I approve of this.
Torchwood Four is headquartered at a university, and James and Alan have two undergrad interns: Blonde Girl With Eyeshadow And Lizard, and Hipster Guy. Hipster wears both the spiffy suits and the vintage uniform jackets when necessary, so he may in fact be Jack and Ianto's kid sent back in time. Blonde and Hipster have this really cute half-flirty relationship going on that is completely overshadowed by the main guys' broiling chemistry. The Lizard is actually an alien, or possibly a robot.
The team are good guys, but they're forced by evil corporate overlords to occasionally work with hot female secret agents who have a Mysterious Agenda. And all want to kiss them. Evil Corporate Overlord appears to be played by Tim Allen, which is just wrong. Alan used to be in love with a dark-haired woman - let's call her Victoria - who is dead and haunts him, or is possibly not dead but just evil. Victoria might be one of the secret agent chicks. James has no patience for Alan's angst over her, by which I mean he's cripplingly jealous. James has a thing going with Biker Chick Secret Agent Lady (until she betrays him), which Alan has no patience for, by which I mean he's also cripplingly jealous.
But no secret agent lady can keep them apart for long! Because they love each other! Because they're partners, and it's them against the world! Eventually there's a scene with James and Alan like the one where Spock dies or the one where Daniel dies, and Alan has to just stare tragically through the porthole as his true love kicks it while locked in what appears to be a modern art gallery. But at least there's a nice funeral that all the corporate overlords and secret agent ladies attend! They even went and bought big black hats for the occasion, so in the end, you know they respected our heroes really.
(I kind of want to watch this show now, except I don't think I want to see James die. D: Tell me he's not really dead please?)
Stranger 2
All I knew about this fandom was:
I believe this involves humans interacting with dinosaurs and other ancient creatures through some... circumstance or method unknown to me. I did have a friend go on a long rant about how horrid it was that they canceled the show prematurely and left it as a cliffhanger with everyone in jeopardy and relationships in limbo.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
This cult science fiction TV show never gained a very large audience before its cancellation after two seasons, but the viewers it did have were fiercely loyal.
Set in present-day America, the main character is James Blondie, a paleontology professor at Central Metropolitan University. Together with his ex-wife Eileen, a renowned physicist, he had discovered a method to travel in time and space using a sparkly silver vortex. His ex-wife has disappeared during a solo trip through the vortex and is presumed dead by most. At the beginning of the show Professor James Blondie has not given up hope that she is alive, and he is continually searching for her.
Professor Blondie goes on many expeditions through the vortex accompanied by his team of brilliant (and overall quite cute) grad students. They travel to the time of the dinosaurs and bring many specimens back to the university for study. Contrary to previously-accepted scientific theories, very few dinosaurs were vicious predators and, instead, they mostly turn out to be a group of playful, friendly creatures, who enjoy aerial games and bopping along to the rock music that the cute grad students tend to play in the lab. This turns out to be a fruitful area of study, as the genetic knowledge gained from dinosaurs can be used to help cure many common diseases. In fact, by the end of season 1, the university teams are very close to curing both cancer and AIDS.
The tone of much of season 1 is light-hearted, with Professor Blondie and his students spending lots of time is the past sledding down sand dunes and having many other exciting yet safe adventures. However, near the end of the season, things took a turn toward a darker side.
The most intelligent, and the cutest, of all the grad students is a boy wonder named Sebastian Brown. Sebastian is the most promising student James Blondie has ever had, and he takes him under his wing and mentors him. Sebastian has a crush on the professor, however, and the professor slowly realizes, over the course of the season, that the reason he rejects the many women who are pursuing him is not his fear that they are gold-diggers just interested in his fame, nor his lingering feelings for his ex-wife, but rather his growing attraction to Sebastian. This UST causes the older man to re-evaluate much about his life, and finally come to terms with the fact that his ex-wife is gone forever, and toward the end of the season he and Sebastian begin to explore a relationship.
But after a few dates and their first steamy kiss (a bold and shocking move by the network), the series threw in an even more shocking revelation. Sebastian is adopted, and he has been searching for his biological parents. When he finally discovers his birth mother she turns out to be a woman James had an affair with… approximately nine months before Sebastian was born. For the next few episodes the two are unsure whether they are related.
This caused quite an uproar in the fandom, as can be expected. The season 1 cliffhanger, in fact, showed the two men looking at the results of the paternity test with overwhelmed expressions on their faces, and then credits. Fans spent the entire hiatus wondering what the results were, or even whether they would ever know, as the low ratings left the show's future up in the air.
The network did bring it back for a second season, and the truth was out. Sebastian was not actually James's son, but the stress and doubt they had felt had caused ruptures in their relationship that were not easily repaired. The season 2 premier also included a break-in at the university, where all the data on dinosaurs and on the cures for cancer and AIDS were stolen. The break-in had been perpetrated by agents of Giant Evil Corporation at the orders of their newly-created vice president of primeval research. At the end of the episode, the vice president was revealed to be James's ex-wife, Eileen, who had not actually died, but was now working for Giant Evil Corporation in their attempts to use dinosaurs for profit and world domination rather than pure altruistic science.
The tone of season 2 was much more action-packed and dangerous, with Giant Evil Corporation chasing the scientists all through time and space. Professor Blondie and his team had to collect many new dinosaur specimens and re-do most of their experiments, and this time they couldn't take as many breaks to sled down sand dunes for fun because there were always corporate minions with guns after them in the primitive jungles.
There was also much character angst as James's joy at Eileen's survival melted into horror at her new evil outlook, and as he and Sebastian tried to figure out all over again what kind of relationship they wanted and whether it was worth it to try to make anything work out between them. At first they decided to take a break but both became extremely jealous when they each pursued other, short-term relationships, including James's one slip-up where he had violent and angry sex with his ex-wife after a gun fight. Neither man could quite admit to himself or to the other the depth of their connection and pain.
At the end of season 2, Giant Evil Corporation rigs a bomb that will destroy the machine the university uses to create the time-space vortex. Professor Blondie leads an attempt to disable the bomb and Eileen is there to foil them. James tells Sebastian that he loves him, and is about to lock himself in the room with the bomb, but Sebastian punches him out and locks himself in instead, because he believes that it is more important for James to survive and continue leading the life-saving dinosaur research team. Sebastian is unsuccessful at dismantling the bomb in time, however, and the explosion kills him as well as Eileen while James watches.
James's heart is broken and he realizes how much of a fool he was to let things come between him and Sebastian without trying harder to work it out. He feels incredible guilt for starting this whole mess in the first place and getting Sebastian and Eileen killed by inventing the vortex. He sneaks into Giant Evil Corporation's headquarters and uses their vortex machine to go back in time in an attempt to save Sebastian's life, even though all the theories of physics predict that such an attempt is most likely futile or else will possibly result in the destruction of the universe. The last shot of the season 2 finale is James stepping into the silver sparkles, looking hopeless yet determined.
At this point the network did indeed cancel the show. The fans are currently in the midst of a letter-writing campaign, aiming to send a million of those expand-in-water foam dinosaur egg toys to the network in hopes of convincing them to bring the show back.
Stranger 3
All I knew about this fandom was:
Possibly too much, as my roommate has started watching it since I signed up. The sparkly crystal special effect is the Anomaly, which opens to the past, future, alternate realities... anywhere plot convenient. Then scary monsters come through. A band of earnest somebodies fights these monsters. There is a hot blonde chick, and... other people. Oh, and they have cute pets with stubby tails.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
We have an intense spiky-haired guy. And a cute sandy-haired guy. They both have startlingly blue eyes. Through the magic of eyeline matching, they stare at each other Significantly. I'm going to go out on a limb and say we slash these two. I think this is not a very long limb.
Spiky and Sandy are depressed and downtrodden in their blue-lit, blue-costumed, blue-collar jobs. Spiky really wants Sandy, but Sandy is torn and angsty, which makes Spiky a little unstable.
But now! Everything changes. They get out of their blue-lit hell and become fast friends doing... something. They begin acquiring sidekicks, including the impish blond girl (hi, hot girl!) Spiky and Sandy hug and touch and squeeze hands and save each other's lives and share significant looks and hold each other and are just generally slashy as all getout. Several hot women cycle in and out of Sandy's life (including one STUNNER in bright lipstick), but after some initial temptation, Sandy decides he's good with one man.
Spiky and Sandy and their increasingly awesome-looking band of sidekicks save the world, I presume. Actually I have no idea what they do, since at once point they're in scuba gear and at another point they're carrying a flamethrower and a fireman's axe and there seems to be a Very Significant Porthole and at another point they're doing an awesome sledding run down a sand dune, so... search me. But, because I am emotionally attached to them already, I'm going to assume that they are heroic and save the world together, while leaving time for lots and lots of sex.
I strongly suspect that the closing scene is Spiky's funeral, and after only three minutes of acquaintanceship, this upset me so badly that I had to get up and walk away. Whatever will Sandy do without his Spiky? How could this mystery show give me a new pairing and take it away so quickly? I need to go find fix-it fic. Or, failing that, a lot more footage of Impish Blonde dancing in her underwear. That would work too.
Stranger 4
All I knew about this fandom was:
There are dinosaurs! In England! In Modern Times! They came through a ... shiny hole. There's a paleontologist who gets drafted by the government to ... find out more?
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Nick (the brunet) and Steve (the blond) lead the Dinosaur Investigatory Team at Central Metropolitan University. They have two young apprentices, Lizard Girl and Hipster Boy. When Nick and Steve first entered paleontology, lo these many moons ago, there was physical hardship in the form of camping in tents by big piles of dirt and digging a lot. Now, as Nick and Steve bring young Lizard Girl and Hipster Boy into the business (are they, perhaps, niece and nephew? cousins?), they are forced to use big guns, and explosives, and soldiers for back up, because, now that the dinosaurs are here in England, you have to pay as much attention to not getting eaten as you do to finding the dinosaurs.
And, boy, are those dinosaurs elusive! Steve is very sad that, even though there are live dinosaurs from another world, it is still very, very hard to find them. Also, when you do find them, you have to kill them a lot, because otherwise they would eat you.
Also, Steve is sad because is ex-wife, Jenny, is evil. She did very bad things, like talking to him. And talking to other people. She used very bad language for this talking, and tried to convince other women to use bad language, so eventually the government took her away FOREVER.
This made Nick happy, because one of the women kept talking to was Jane. Jane, also, was on the verge of being taken away. But removed from Jenny's bad influence, Jane could stay, and start a business of dinosaur-hunting soldiers.
Now, everyone is happy, except that sometimes Lizard Girl and Hipster Boy look at each other and think that they would have become fashion models, but they were pulled from their life of glamour by the lure of live dinosaurs.
Stranger 5
All I knew about this fandom was:
British. And…time travel? Maybe? And now, from the vid header I know there are at least two men, one called Stephen and the other called Nick.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Ok. The blond guy was a professor at Central Metropolitan University where he taught physics. He got into a relationship with his brown haired TA and was “asked” to leave. His wife--brunette, clearly he has a type--left him, his dog died, and his truck got stole.
I assume that one of these men is Nick and the other is Stephen. However, assigning a name to either one would kind of be a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead moment, if you know what I mean*.
Luckily for the angsty Professor, his rugged TA doesn’t take this whole thing lying down and gets them some sort of top secret military job. The Professor and his “mathematician”/TA are working on creating and controlling these floating sparkly special effects. Code name for the FX: anomaly. IDK, maybe they explode. Or they’re trying to create a country sized sparkly shield. Take that, strategic defence initiative.
Also working at the same blindingly white, clearly influenced by Scandinavian minimalism research installation is Dr Iguana Pixie and her hipster-want-to-listen-to-my-music colleague, who I had confused with TA for a little bit there, but eventually the Hair will out.
This job turns out to have more practical running and being attacked than was originally advertised, but it works out as it provides more time for sweaty bonding. Also they get wet a lot.
The Professor slowly learns to love his new job, but feels like he doesn’t deserve it. Inside, he feels he should be punished for his immoral conduct at the university. Feeling conflicted, and guilty, he has periods where he becomes sort of cold and distant towards TA, who is hurt and bewildered every time.
Feeling neglected by Professor Guildenstern, TA Rosencrantz begins a pattern of self-destructive behaviour. TA throws himself into the face of danger recklessly, needing the hit of hurt/comfort of the Professor holding his hand at the hospital, providing CPR (I assume), and cupping his face lovingly as he chokes on his own blood. Anything to be the focus of Professor Guildenstern’s attention, to be reminded that he cares.
However, when they’re on, they are on fire and have great shenanigans, like tobogganing in the Sahara. And teaching small children how to drive? Dr Pixie (Iggy to her friends) often gets to indulge her passion for driving very fast in crowded urban areas.
And holy shit was that a pterodactyl? \o/ \o/
::takes a break to dance around the room::
Ok, I’m back. The awesome in this shit has just gone up to eleven.
I mean pterosaur, whatever.
And now I’m confused. Is the pterodactyl connected to the giant crystalline sparkly things? Whatever, I’m going with the idea that the pterodactyl and that weird wolf thing are somehow genetically engineered by the now (clearly diabolical) Dr Pixie as a part of her research.
But all is not well in the state of Denmark. Professor Guildenstern is becoming fed up with TA Rosencrantz’s antics. The Professor plays into his own guilt complex and blames himself, while TA wonders where the magic went and why the Professor doesn’t bring him flowers anymore.
This takes us back to the beginning of the vid where a bleeding Professor Guildenstern says he’s ‘sorry, but he just can’t do this anymore,’ and ‘can’t you see I’m worried about you?’
TA thinks, ‘you did this to me, you bastard,’ and in a complete disregard for the head injury the Professor probably has, punches him.
The TA makes one last grasp at bringing the Professor back to him by invoking the power of jealousy by kissing some woman, but really, who’s he kidding.
If Professor Guildenstern had hoped that some time and distance would snap TA Rosencrantz out of being an adrenaline junkie, the Professor was wrong. All that happened is when TA tried to cheat death one too many times, the Professor was not able to save him. I am going to make a wild assumption and say that something happened in the room with all the square yellow arches (4:21) and that dramatic Kirk/Spock glass moment was the end. He died bravely, lamented by all. Even the Hair drooped in mourning.
Judging from the Professor’s face at the funeral, he’s going to become a something-holic and shut down emotionally.
In conclusion: TA dies? What? Noooo, they had such great sweaty and messy adventures. I so wanted them to get back together as more well-adjusted people. Way to break my heart show. Way to break my heart.
*Guildenstern: Rosencrantz?
Rosencrantz: What?
Guildenstern: Guildenstern?
Rosencrantz: What?
Guildenstern: Don't you discriminate at ALL?
Stranger 6
All I knew about this fandom was:
the name. and DINOSAURS! \o/
Here's what this fandom is really about:
NOT DINOSAURS. /o\ It took almost a full minute for one to show up in the vid (giant cats excluded), so I think I'm safe to assume that no one in this show is paying a visit to Jurassic Park anytime soon.
But it is about a team! A team that is completely adorable and continues the great sci-fi tradition of using monstrously bright flashlights. There are several guys on the team! One of them seems to have a ~special~ relationship with another one who very vaguely resembles the lead character from The Mentalist if I'm not wearing my glasses. And there are several women on the team! Woooooo! And a tiny dinosaur, whom I shall name Denver the Last Dinosaur, because by now I have lost all hope that there are actually herds of brachiosaurs just off the side of the screen. Together, they all fight crime! Or anomalies. Anomalies are not good? And can sometimes shapeshift? They sometimes look like the background lighting from a bad 80's video, and they sometimes hide in the desert and eat people. They also appear to resemble both disco balls and Stargates at will. I don’t know what’s going on here, to be honest. Their purpose is probably something to do with providing links to other dimensions or allowing people to travel in time or keeping hidden certain prehistoric creatures that I may or may not have been obviously extremely excited about.
Anyway, underneath all this happy fun time is angst. ANGST. Drinking and break-ups and a funeral, oh my. I can only assume a funeral means that someone has died, unless this group has macabre bonding rituals that I'm not getting. I hope it's not Denver, but there seems to be a conspicuous lack of the one guy and too much epic pain rolling off the Mentalist so I think that pretty well indicates who kicked the bucket. L From the meaningful zoom out between the door between the two men, I'm going to guess that he is not really dead but actually trapped in another dimension. Forever separated because people can't cross universes without anomalies. And anomalies are bad, shiny, dinosaur-blocking things. Until a plot device requires they be something else.
Stranger 7
All I knew about this fandom was:
Zero.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
A collegiate team of paranormal forensics experts have extorted money from their university in order to fund their latest exorbitant student project: a cellophane wormhole. The school's president, Dr. Arthur Akimbo, is understandably miffed at having to undergo yet more rounds of budget cuts in order to appease these, albeit brilliant, miscreants. So he hires a dragon breeder to send hordes of the beasts throughout Time in order to keep the students busy while he formulates his own plan for financial success by selling pilfered dragon eggs on eBay.
Stranger 8
All I knew about this fandom was:
Nada. The name makes me think it's horror.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Two guys trying to make a pterodactyl (why doesn't really matter). Naturally this is a pretty fucking hard thing to do. So things get a bit heated at times, in more ways than one. They are drawn together by their passion for the same goal, but also turn against one another when things don't go to plan. They have an angsty, slashy friendship, and clearly love each other a lot more than any of the women in their lives.
They are so busy having this slashy friendship that they don't notice that a little blond chick has beaten them to it pterodactyl-wise. Don't feel too sorry for her though, she has a cute friend and an a yellow ferrari.
Older, blond guy is the woobie of the show. He's also the one with the real genius, but his genius is tortured, tortured and he's completely unable to sustain a relationship, even with the cute dude he's secretly in love with. Said cute dude is very cute, it must be acknowledged. And when you're running around with flame guns and quicksand all day, saving each other's lives, you can see why women would seem a bit annoying and unnecessary.
While blond chick may have been the one with the pterodactyl, the two guys build some kind of biosphere for it to exist in and protect it from evil corporations. Because the corporations also want the pterodactyl! The trouble is, without corporations there is no funding for pterodactyls and they will die. At this point in the story it becomes clear that the cute dude has Principles. He will not sell out! oh no, he would rather DIE than sell out.
And he does.
And the main dude (who saw the writing on the wall and sold out) is more woobie than ever. He realises, too late, that it wasn't worth it. Blond chick is also a bit sad--but more because she lost her pterodactl than because cute dude won't be around in his soft cream jumper any more.
Vid Used
"All These Things That I've Done" by killabeez (killa @ slashcity.com)
download: http://killabeez.livejournal.com/286979.html
Grokker Synopsis
We had no Grokker for this show, so this is what I was able to glean from Wikipedia (I’m not sure it helps at all, but it sure makes the show sound interesting):
Primeval is a British science fiction television programme produced for ITV by Impossible Pictures. The show follows a team of five scientists tasked with investigating the appearance of temporal anomalies across Great Britain and containing prehistoric and futuristic creatures which enter the present. The series takes place in, and is just a small section of an extensive alternate universe, nicknamed the Primeverse by fans.
The Primeverse has numerous self-contained eras that the characters explore over the course of the series. Many of these eras are based on locations from previous series such as Walking with Dinosaurs and Prehistoric Park, though some of the eras seen are completely fictional and were created for this series while others are real places. The universe is as technologically advanced as our own, but is also home to strange and apparently supernatural phenomena.
Professor Nick Cutter's first journeys, in Series One, take him through many eras in order to search for his wife Helen and to try to prevent prehistoric beasts from invading the present. In series two, Nick Cutter's main aim appears to be rescuing Claudia Brown and maintaining the conspiracy around the anomalies.
In the Primeval universe, travel between eras is normally not possible. The series centers on a new phenomenon called 'the anomaly.' Anomalies puncture the space-time continuum and allow access to an infinite number of eras, although, technically speaking, these eras are actually the same place, just at different stages of evolutionary development. Each era, when not linked by an anomaly, is disconnected from the others and exists separately, cut off on the timeline. Most characters and creatures in the eras are unaware of the existence of the other times, but some notable characters are aware.
The results of any meddling in the past becomes incorporated into the present, suggesting that the Primeval universe is in a state of near constant flux.
Stranger Synopses
Stranger 1
All I knew about this fandom was:
Probably a live-action television series. Also for some reason I suspect it has vampires.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
So Primeval follows the basic framework of your old-fashioned buddy-cop show. One of the buddies looks like the blond love-child of Alan Alda and Alan Tudyk, so I'm going to call him Alan. The other one looks disconcertingly like an older Harry Potter - every few seconds the camera will catch him at just the right angle and I swear he could be played by Daniel Radcliffe - so we're going to call him James.
Since Alan is the blond guy, I bet that when people write slash about him, he always ends up bottoming. I think I speak for Illya, Hutch, and Doyle too when I say that's BS and when the simmering sexual tension finally resolves into sex, it'll totally be Alan tying James to the headboard. (Man, I hope people write a ton of old-fashioned slash about them. You know, stories where James get shot or something, and Alan holds him in his arms while he bleeds out and whispers that he loves him, and then James gets cured by Alan's manly tears, because of their soulbond, and then they have gentle, loving, manly sex even though they're not gay. Not that that has anything to do with the video.)
Alan and James are gun-totin', two-fisted scientists who work for an institution that does stuff like kill ghosts with flamethrowers and walk through swirly portals. And then they drag things back to their big white building with the cool architecture and do research on them. Given the pterodactyl in the Hub, I'm going to go ahead and say it: they appear to be Torchwood Four. I approve of this.
Torchwood Four is headquartered at a university, and James and Alan have two undergrad interns: Blonde Girl With Eyeshadow And Lizard, and Hipster Guy. Hipster wears both the spiffy suits and the vintage uniform jackets when necessary, so he may in fact be Jack and Ianto's kid sent back in time. Blonde and Hipster have this really cute half-flirty relationship going on that is completely overshadowed by the main guys' broiling chemistry. The Lizard is actually an alien, or possibly a robot.
The team are good guys, but they're forced by evil corporate overlords to occasionally work with hot female secret agents who have a Mysterious Agenda. And all want to kiss them. Evil Corporate Overlord appears to be played by Tim Allen, which is just wrong. Alan used to be in love with a dark-haired woman - let's call her Victoria - who is dead and haunts him, or is possibly not dead but just evil. Victoria might be one of the secret agent chicks. James has no patience for Alan's angst over her, by which I mean he's cripplingly jealous. James has a thing going with Biker Chick Secret Agent Lady (until she betrays him), which Alan has no patience for, by which I mean he's also cripplingly jealous.
But no secret agent lady can keep them apart for long! Because they love each other! Because they're partners, and it's them against the world! Eventually there's a scene with James and Alan like the one where Spock dies or the one where Daniel dies, and Alan has to just stare tragically through the porthole as his true love kicks it while locked in what appears to be a modern art gallery. But at least there's a nice funeral that all the corporate overlords and secret agent ladies attend! They even went and bought big black hats for the occasion, so in the end, you know they respected our heroes really.
(I kind of want to watch this show now, except I don't think I want to see James die. D: Tell me he's not really dead please?)
Stranger 2
All I knew about this fandom was:
I believe this involves humans interacting with dinosaurs and other ancient creatures through some... circumstance or method unknown to me. I did have a friend go on a long rant about how horrid it was that they canceled the show prematurely and left it as a cliffhanger with everyone in jeopardy and relationships in limbo.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
This cult science fiction TV show never gained a very large audience before its cancellation after two seasons, but the viewers it did have were fiercely loyal.
Set in present-day America, the main character is James Blondie, a paleontology professor at Central Metropolitan University. Together with his ex-wife Eileen, a renowned physicist, he had discovered a method to travel in time and space using a sparkly silver vortex. His ex-wife has disappeared during a solo trip through the vortex and is presumed dead by most. At the beginning of the show Professor James Blondie has not given up hope that she is alive, and he is continually searching for her.
Professor Blondie goes on many expeditions through the vortex accompanied by his team of brilliant (and overall quite cute) grad students. They travel to the time of the dinosaurs and bring many specimens back to the university for study. Contrary to previously-accepted scientific theories, very few dinosaurs were vicious predators and, instead, they mostly turn out to be a group of playful, friendly creatures, who enjoy aerial games and bopping along to the rock music that the cute grad students tend to play in the lab. This turns out to be a fruitful area of study, as the genetic knowledge gained from dinosaurs can be used to help cure many common diseases. In fact, by the end of season 1, the university teams are very close to curing both cancer and AIDS.
The tone of much of season 1 is light-hearted, with Professor Blondie and his students spending lots of time is the past sledding down sand dunes and having many other exciting yet safe adventures. However, near the end of the season, things took a turn toward a darker side.
The most intelligent, and the cutest, of all the grad students is a boy wonder named Sebastian Brown. Sebastian is the most promising student James Blondie has ever had, and he takes him under his wing and mentors him. Sebastian has a crush on the professor, however, and the professor slowly realizes, over the course of the season, that the reason he rejects the many women who are pursuing him is not his fear that they are gold-diggers just interested in his fame, nor his lingering feelings for his ex-wife, but rather his growing attraction to Sebastian. This UST causes the older man to re-evaluate much about his life, and finally come to terms with the fact that his ex-wife is gone forever, and toward the end of the season he and Sebastian begin to explore a relationship.
But after a few dates and their first steamy kiss (a bold and shocking move by the network), the series threw in an even more shocking revelation. Sebastian is adopted, and he has been searching for his biological parents. When he finally discovers his birth mother she turns out to be a woman James had an affair with… approximately nine months before Sebastian was born. For the next few episodes the two are unsure whether they are related.
This caused quite an uproar in the fandom, as can be expected. The season 1 cliffhanger, in fact, showed the two men looking at the results of the paternity test with overwhelmed expressions on their faces, and then credits. Fans spent the entire hiatus wondering what the results were, or even whether they would ever know, as the low ratings left the show's future up in the air.
The network did bring it back for a second season, and the truth was out. Sebastian was not actually James's son, but the stress and doubt they had felt had caused ruptures in their relationship that were not easily repaired. The season 2 premier also included a break-in at the university, where all the data on dinosaurs and on the cures for cancer and AIDS were stolen. The break-in had been perpetrated by agents of Giant Evil Corporation at the orders of their newly-created vice president of primeval research. At the end of the episode, the vice president was revealed to be James's ex-wife, Eileen, who had not actually died, but was now working for Giant Evil Corporation in their attempts to use dinosaurs for profit and world domination rather than pure altruistic science.
The tone of season 2 was much more action-packed and dangerous, with Giant Evil Corporation chasing the scientists all through time and space. Professor Blondie and his team had to collect many new dinosaur specimens and re-do most of their experiments, and this time they couldn't take as many breaks to sled down sand dunes for fun because there were always corporate minions with guns after them in the primitive jungles.
There was also much character angst as James's joy at Eileen's survival melted into horror at her new evil outlook, and as he and Sebastian tried to figure out all over again what kind of relationship they wanted and whether it was worth it to try to make anything work out between them. At first they decided to take a break but both became extremely jealous when they each pursued other, short-term relationships, including James's one slip-up where he had violent and angry sex with his ex-wife after a gun fight. Neither man could quite admit to himself or to the other the depth of their connection and pain.
At the end of season 2, Giant Evil Corporation rigs a bomb that will destroy the machine the university uses to create the time-space vortex. Professor Blondie leads an attempt to disable the bomb and Eileen is there to foil them. James tells Sebastian that he loves him, and is about to lock himself in the room with the bomb, but Sebastian punches him out and locks himself in instead, because he believes that it is more important for James to survive and continue leading the life-saving dinosaur research team. Sebastian is unsuccessful at dismantling the bomb in time, however, and the explosion kills him as well as Eileen while James watches.
James's heart is broken and he realizes how much of a fool he was to let things come between him and Sebastian without trying harder to work it out. He feels incredible guilt for starting this whole mess in the first place and getting Sebastian and Eileen killed by inventing the vortex. He sneaks into Giant Evil Corporation's headquarters and uses their vortex machine to go back in time in an attempt to save Sebastian's life, even though all the theories of physics predict that such an attempt is most likely futile or else will possibly result in the destruction of the universe. The last shot of the season 2 finale is James stepping into the silver sparkles, looking hopeless yet determined.
At this point the network did indeed cancel the show. The fans are currently in the midst of a letter-writing campaign, aiming to send a million of those expand-in-water foam dinosaur egg toys to the network in hopes of convincing them to bring the show back.
Stranger 3
All I knew about this fandom was:
Possibly too much, as my roommate has started watching it since I signed up. The sparkly crystal special effect is the Anomaly, which opens to the past, future, alternate realities... anywhere plot convenient. Then scary monsters come through. A band of earnest somebodies fights these monsters. There is a hot blonde chick, and... other people. Oh, and they have cute pets with stubby tails.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
We have an intense spiky-haired guy. And a cute sandy-haired guy. They both have startlingly blue eyes. Through the magic of eyeline matching, they stare at each other Significantly. I'm going to go out on a limb and say we slash these two. I think this is not a very long limb.
Spiky and Sandy are depressed and downtrodden in their blue-lit, blue-costumed, blue-collar jobs. Spiky really wants Sandy, but Sandy is torn and angsty, which makes Spiky a little unstable.
But now! Everything changes. They get out of their blue-lit hell and become fast friends doing... something. They begin acquiring sidekicks, including the impish blond girl (hi, hot girl!) Spiky and Sandy hug and touch and squeeze hands and save each other's lives and share significant looks and hold each other and are just generally slashy as all getout. Several hot women cycle in and out of Sandy's life (including one STUNNER in bright lipstick), but after some initial temptation, Sandy decides he's good with one man.
Spiky and Sandy and their increasingly awesome-looking band of sidekicks save the world, I presume. Actually I have no idea what they do, since at once point they're in scuba gear and at another point they're carrying a flamethrower and a fireman's axe and there seems to be a Very Significant Porthole and at another point they're doing an awesome sledding run down a sand dune, so... search me. But, because I am emotionally attached to them already, I'm going to assume that they are heroic and save the world together, while leaving time for lots and lots of sex.
I strongly suspect that the closing scene is Spiky's funeral, and after only three minutes of acquaintanceship, this upset me so badly that I had to get up and walk away. Whatever will Sandy do without his Spiky? How could this mystery show give me a new pairing and take it away so quickly? I need to go find fix-it fic. Or, failing that, a lot more footage of Impish Blonde dancing in her underwear. That would work too.
Stranger 4
All I knew about this fandom was:
There are dinosaurs! In England! In Modern Times! They came through a ... shiny hole. There's a paleontologist who gets drafted by the government to ... find out more?
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Nick (the brunet) and Steve (the blond) lead the Dinosaur Investigatory Team at Central Metropolitan University. They have two young apprentices, Lizard Girl and Hipster Boy. When Nick and Steve first entered paleontology, lo these many moons ago, there was physical hardship in the form of camping in tents by big piles of dirt and digging a lot. Now, as Nick and Steve bring young Lizard Girl and Hipster Boy into the business (are they, perhaps, niece and nephew? cousins?), they are forced to use big guns, and explosives, and soldiers for back up, because, now that the dinosaurs are here in England, you have to pay as much attention to not getting eaten as you do to finding the dinosaurs.
And, boy, are those dinosaurs elusive! Steve is very sad that, even though there are live dinosaurs from another world, it is still very, very hard to find them. Also, when you do find them, you have to kill them a lot, because otherwise they would eat you.
Also, Steve is sad because is ex-wife, Jenny, is evil. She did very bad things, like talking to him. And talking to other people. She used very bad language for this talking, and tried to convince other women to use bad language, so eventually the government took her away FOREVER.
This made Nick happy, because one of the women kept talking to was Jane. Jane, also, was on the verge of being taken away. But removed from Jenny's bad influence, Jane could stay, and start a business of dinosaur-hunting soldiers.
Now, everyone is happy, except that sometimes Lizard Girl and Hipster Boy look at each other and think that they would have become fashion models, but they were pulled from their life of glamour by the lure of live dinosaurs.
Stranger 5
All I knew about this fandom was:
British. And…time travel? Maybe? And now, from the vid header I know there are at least two men, one called Stephen and the other called Nick.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Ok. The blond guy was a professor at Central Metropolitan University where he taught physics. He got into a relationship with his brown haired TA and was “asked” to leave. His wife--brunette, clearly he has a type--left him, his dog died, and his truck got stole.
I assume that one of these men is Nick and the other is Stephen. However, assigning a name to either one would kind of be a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead moment, if you know what I mean*.
Luckily for the angsty Professor, his rugged TA doesn’t take this whole thing lying down and gets them some sort of top secret military job. The Professor and his “mathematician”/TA are working on creating and controlling these floating sparkly special effects. Code name for the FX: anomaly. IDK, maybe they explode. Or they’re trying to create a country sized sparkly shield. Take that, strategic defence initiative.
Also working at the same blindingly white, clearly influenced by Scandinavian minimalism research installation is Dr Iguana Pixie and her hipster-want-to-listen-to-my-music colleague, who I had confused with TA for a little bit there, but eventually the Hair will out.
This job turns out to have more practical running and being attacked than was originally advertised, but it works out as it provides more time for sweaty bonding. Also they get wet a lot.
The Professor slowly learns to love his new job, but feels like he doesn’t deserve it. Inside, he feels he should be punished for his immoral conduct at the university. Feeling conflicted, and guilty, he has periods where he becomes sort of cold and distant towards TA, who is hurt and bewildered every time.
Feeling neglected by Professor Guildenstern, TA Rosencrantz begins a pattern of self-destructive behaviour. TA throws himself into the face of danger recklessly, needing the hit of hurt/comfort of the Professor holding his hand at the hospital, providing CPR (I assume), and cupping his face lovingly as he chokes on his own blood. Anything to be the focus of Professor Guildenstern’s attention, to be reminded that he cares.
However, when they’re on, they are on fire and have great shenanigans, like tobogganing in the Sahara. And teaching small children how to drive? Dr Pixie (Iggy to her friends) often gets to indulge her passion for driving very fast in crowded urban areas.
And holy shit was that a pterodactyl? \o/ \o/
::takes a break to dance around the room::
Ok, I’m back. The awesome in this shit has just gone up to eleven.
I mean pterosaur, whatever.
And now I’m confused. Is the pterodactyl connected to the giant crystalline sparkly things? Whatever, I’m going with the idea that the pterodactyl and that weird wolf thing are somehow genetically engineered by the now (clearly diabolical) Dr Pixie as a part of her research.
But all is not well in the state of Denmark. Professor Guildenstern is becoming fed up with TA Rosencrantz’s antics. The Professor plays into his own guilt complex and blames himself, while TA wonders where the magic went and why the Professor doesn’t bring him flowers anymore.
This takes us back to the beginning of the vid where a bleeding Professor Guildenstern says he’s ‘sorry, but he just can’t do this anymore,’ and ‘can’t you see I’m worried about you?’
TA thinks, ‘you did this to me, you bastard,’ and in a complete disregard for the head injury the Professor probably has, punches him.
The TA makes one last grasp at bringing the Professor back to him by invoking the power of jealousy by kissing some woman, but really, who’s he kidding.
If Professor Guildenstern had hoped that some time and distance would snap TA Rosencrantz out of being an adrenaline junkie, the Professor was wrong. All that happened is when TA tried to cheat death one too many times, the Professor was not able to save him. I am going to make a wild assumption and say that something happened in the room with all the square yellow arches (4:21) and that dramatic Kirk/Spock glass moment was the end. He died bravely, lamented by all. Even the Hair drooped in mourning.
Judging from the Professor’s face at the funeral, he’s going to become a something-holic and shut down emotionally.
In conclusion: TA dies? What? Noooo, they had such great sweaty and messy adventures. I so wanted them to get back together as more well-adjusted people. Way to break my heart show. Way to break my heart.
*Guildenstern: Rosencrantz?
Rosencrantz: What?
Guildenstern: Guildenstern?
Rosencrantz: What?
Guildenstern: Don't you discriminate at ALL?
Stranger 6
All I knew about this fandom was:
the name. and DINOSAURS! \o/
Here's what this fandom is really about:
NOT DINOSAURS. /o\ It took almost a full minute for one to show up in the vid (giant cats excluded), so I think I'm safe to assume that no one in this show is paying a visit to Jurassic Park anytime soon.
But it is about a team! A team that is completely adorable and continues the great sci-fi tradition of using monstrously bright flashlights. There are several guys on the team! One of them seems to have a ~special~ relationship with another one who very vaguely resembles the lead character from The Mentalist if I'm not wearing my glasses. And there are several women on the team! Woooooo! And a tiny dinosaur, whom I shall name Denver the Last Dinosaur, because by now I have lost all hope that there are actually herds of brachiosaurs just off the side of the screen. Together, they all fight crime! Or anomalies. Anomalies are not good? And can sometimes shapeshift? They sometimes look like the background lighting from a bad 80's video, and they sometimes hide in the desert and eat people. They also appear to resemble both disco balls and Stargates at will. I don’t know what’s going on here, to be honest. Their purpose is probably something to do with providing links to other dimensions or allowing people to travel in time or keeping hidden certain prehistoric creatures that I may or may not have been obviously extremely excited about.
Anyway, underneath all this happy fun time is angst. ANGST. Drinking and break-ups and a funeral, oh my. I can only assume a funeral means that someone has died, unless this group has macabre bonding rituals that I'm not getting. I hope it's not Denver, but there seems to be a conspicuous lack of the one guy and too much epic pain rolling off the Mentalist so I think that pretty well indicates who kicked the bucket. L From the meaningful zoom out between the door between the two men, I'm going to guess that he is not really dead but actually trapped in another dimension. Forever separated because people can't cross universes without anomalies. And anomalies are bad, shiny, dinosaur-blocking things. Until a plot device requires they be something else.
Stranger 7
All I knew about this fandom was:
Zero.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
A collegiate team of paranormal forensics experts have extorted money from their university in order to fund their latest exorbitant student project: a cellophane wormhole. The school's president, Dr. Arthur Akimbo, is understandably miffed at having to undergo yet more rounds of budget cuts in order to appease these, albeit brilliant, miscreants. So he hires a dragon breeder to send hordes of the beasts throughout Time in order to keep the students busy while he formulates his own plan for financial success by selling pilfered dragon eggs on eBay.
Stranger 8
All I knew about this fandom was:
Nada. The name makes me think it's horror.
Here's what this fandom is really about:
Two guys trying to make a pterodactyl (why doesn't really matter). Naturally this is a pretty fucking hard thing to do. So things get a bit heated at times, in more ways than one. They are drawn together by their passion for the same goal, but also turn against one another when things don't go to plan. They have an angsty, slashy friendship, and clearly love each other a lot more than any of the women in their lives.
They are so busy having this slashy friendship that they don't notice that a little blond chick has beaten them to it pterodactyl-wise. Don't feel too sorry for her though, she has a cute friend and an a yellow ferrari.
Older, blond guy is the woobie of the show. He's also the one with the real genius, but his genius is tortured, tortured and he's completely unable to sustain a relationship, even with the cute dude he's secretly in love with. Said cute dude is very cute, it must be acknowledged. And when you're running around with flame guns and quicksand all day, saving each other's lives, you can see why women would seem a bit annoying and unnecessary.
While blond chick may have been the one with the pterodactyl, the two guys build some kind of biosphere for it to exist in and protect it from evil corporations. Because the corporations also want the pterodactyl! The trouble is, without corporations there is no funding for pterodactyls and they will die. At this point in the story it becomes clear that the cute dude has Principles. He will not sell out! oh no, he would rather DIE than sell out.
And he does.
And the main dude (who saw the writing on the wall and sold out) is more woobie than ever. He realises, too late, that it wasn't worth it. Blond chick is also a bit sad--but more because she lost her pterodactl than because cute dude won't be around in his soft cream jumper any more.