Attention, attention, we're changin' direction... Hang on tight.
I've been engaging in a whole lot of big, ugly INTROSPECTION lately. I am very bad at it and realize that I have a character flaw of putting my head down and blindly slogging through situations that make me uncomfortable/sad/angry rather than thinking about why they're making me feel that way. Which will, every so often, result in my straying from the path for about half a decade. *cough*
Asked myself a question the other week. Simple question, simple answer, frightening realization.
Q: Do I want to be a lawyer?
A: ... No.
*sheepish grin*
I love my shiny, brag-worthy law degree. And I'm sure as hell going to finish passing the bar, just to prove that it's not a matter of not being able to hack it. I don't like hanging threads.
But I also don't like conflict. I hate public speaking. I don't like that the keystone of my current employment is encouraging people to continue fighting to the bitter end. I don't like the equation of greater profit flowing from deliberate inefficiency. In short, I'm not convinced that private law is the right place for me.
I have plans, and back-up plans, and back-up-to-the-back-up plans, but they are vague and if I talk about them they start to feel as though they're constructed of gossamer and it's all very exciting and terrifying at the moment, so I'll leave it at that. But I have been assured that y'all will continue to love me despite probably not having "a lawyer friend" to threaten people with anymore this summer. (Well, I mean, hell, you can still threaten, you've just got to phrase it a little differently now... *g*) And my parents are okay with this as well. It did amuse me that our conversation on the subject mirrored my 'coming out' talk with them so closely. *snort*
So, yes. The state of me at the moment, you has it! *grand flourish and bow*
Asked myself a question the other week. Simple question, simple answer, frightening realization.
Q: Do I want to be a lawyer?
A: ... No.
*sheepish grin*
I love my shiny, brag-worthy law degree. And I'm sure as hell going to finish passing the bar, just to prove that it's not a matter of not being able to hack it. I don't like hanging threads.
But I also don't like conflict. I hate public speaking. I don't like that the keystone of my current employment is encouraging people to continue fighting to the bitter end. I don't like the equation of greater profit flowing from deliberate inefficiency. In short, I'm not convinced that private law is the right place for me.
I have plans, and back-up plans, and back-up-to-the-back-up plans, but they are vague and if I talk about them they start to feel as though they're constructed of gossamer and it's all very exciting and terrifying at the moment, so I'll leave it at that. But I have been assured that y'all will continue to love me despite probably not having "a lawyer friend" to threaten people with anymore this summer. (Well, I mean, hell, you can still threaten, you've just got to phrase it a little differently now... *g*) And my parents are okay with this as well. It did amuse me that our conversation on the subject mirrored my 'coming out' talk with them so closely. *snort*
So, yes. The state of me at the moment, you has it! *grand flourish and bow*