My favourite part may have been seeing the A-Team trailer on a big screen...
So! After risking life and limb to see the thing, you're damn well getting a review of Legion. (No, really... The lovely folks who follow me on Twitter got to read all the shaky-fingered parking lot Tweets after I spun my car out trying to stop at an intersection. I wasn't even driving like a moron either, I swear! I just forgot that the ice-fog does bad things to the road!)
BUT ANYWAY.
Legion. Um. Wait for it to come out on DVD, guys. It's...
Look, in short, it is the Pete Wentz of movies. It's sort of endearingly goofy and accidentally charming, and then it starts trying way too hard and showing you way too much and you kind of have to hide your eyes in embarrassment for it.
At first I was all "ooh, it's all artsy and subtle and Paul 'dig it, I'm shirtless, collared and bleeding within the first five minutes!' Bettany is extremely creepy when he's playing not-a-human!"
And then they put wings on the angels. And showed us heaven, which was a stone hallway lined with gently fluttering black garbage bags. And Gabriel was temporarily played by a boom-camera with vaseline around the edges of the lens. AND THEN HE HAD A GIANT TRANSFORMING ROTATING MACE. Fer serious, guys.
To break it down, it was about 10% action scenes so cheesy that I couldn't stop laughing (though the running commentary of snark from the kids in the row behind me improved things significantly), 85% various characters getting into pairs and desperately angsting at each other with all their might, and 5% that's kind of a mysterious orgasmic blur that may have had something to do with Paul Bettany wielding bigger and bigger guns with an unchanging expression of faint despondence. And maybe the one scene where Pauly B and the main character called Jeep, played by a dude who bears a truly freaky resemblance to early Christian Kane stuffed themselves in a closet-type-place to desperately angst at each other ("Oh, just kiss him!" exclaimed someone in the sarcasm brigade behind me. I giggled.)
Oh well... It was good for a chuckle, if nothing else!
BUT ANYWAY.
Legion. Um. Wait for it to come out on DVD, guys. It's...
Look, in short, it is the Pete Wentz of movies. It's sort of endearingly goofy and accidentally charming, and then it starts trying way too hard and showing you way too much and you kind of have to hide your eyes in embarrassment for it.
At first I was all "ooh, it's all artsy and subtle and Paul 'dig it, I'm shirtless, collared and bleeding within the first five minutes!' Bettany is extremely creepy when he's playing not-a-human!"
And then they put wings on the angels. And showed us heaven, which was a stone hallway lined with gently fluttering black garbage bags. And Gabriel was temporarily played by a boom-camera with vaseline around the edges of the lens. AND THEN HE HAD A GIANT TRANSFORMING ROTATING MACE. Fer serious, guys.
To break it down, it was about 10% action scenes so cheesy that I couldn't stop laughing (though the running commentary of snark from the kids in the row behind me improved things significantly), 85% various characters getting into pairs and desperately angsting at each other with all their might, and 5% that's kind of a mysterious orgasmic blur that may have had something to do with Paul Bettany wielding bigger and bigger guns with an unchanging expression of faint despondence. And maybe the one scene where Pauly B and the main character called Jeep, played by a dude who bears a truly freaky resemblance to early Christian Kane stuffed themselves in a closet-type-place to desperately angst at each other ("Oh, just kiss him!" exclaimed someone in the sarcasm brigade behind me. I giggled.)
Oh well... It was good for a chuckle, if nothing else!