Comments | strange_tomato: A whole lot of isms, but mostly heterosexism.

strange_tomato

A whole lot of isms, but mostly heterosexism.

May 14, 2009 10:52

Given that this Sunday, May 17, is the International Day Against Homophobia, it's interesting that I was recently called out for being heterosexist. To my face, by a lesbian. I was pretty embarrassed. (Not that it would be any better to have this pointed out in another way, but I felt pretty careless.)

( Details and some discussion ahead... )

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crushthecamera May 14 2009, 17:25:26 UTC

One of the things that I find genuinely upsetting in Sims 2 fandom is when sim stories and legacies actually put up warnings for gay sims. As if it were exceptional. As if it were Other. I don't think anyone's doing it out of genuine malice - like you say, it's so unconscious that even people who have had a lot of space to work on this mess up, because it's part of the culture right now, and it's so subtly beaten into our heads every day of our lives that we don't even register what we're doing until it's pointed out. (And then we do the Oh-Shit-How-Did-I-Not-See-That!? dance.) That's the magic of kyriarchy!

The conflict-avoidance is strong in me, but I often think I should leave a comment saying something like, "I hope you're going to warn for heterosexual sims, too," and I think I have to suck it up and start saying something. I mean, it's not a huge thing, in the scheme of things, but it's the little grains of sand that add up to a beach that stretches on for centuries, you know? The little things are what inures us to the point where the big things, the horrific things, have a place to happen.

Personally when I started out on my own story I pretty much went with, "It's a happy fluffy utopia where no one is a jerk!" because I just didn't feel like dealing with it in my happy melodrama fun time. But as I kept going I slowly realised that, nope, it's not going to happen that way. Because there were little things, little hints, and as I dug deeper it became so much more messed up, more like out here. It's like background radiation that seeps into everything and affects my people in such seemingly small ways, but it's constant, and it adds up, and they fight against it admirably, but it wears them down. It makes them brittle. I don't know if I'll ever tackle it head-on in the story itself, but it's there, in the background, informing everything.

...Anyway. I think I've only commented here once before, because, uh. I'm sort of intimidated by you because I think you're pretty neat. I just wanted to say thank you for opening up such a discussion here, and to wave my little "Me, too!" flag.

leskuh May 14 2009, 17:30:37 UTC

One of the things that I find genuinely upsetting in Sims 2 fandom is when sim stories and legacies actually put up warnings for gay sims.

XD I did that when I was younger! I don't anymore because it doesn't matter to me and if it matters to you well... oh well.

strange_tomato May 14 2009, 17:46:52 UTC

One of the things that I find genuinely upsetting in Sims 2 fandom is when sim stories and legacies actually put up warnings for gay sims.

I agree.

meetme2theriver May 14 2009, 17:55:09 UTC

One of the things that I find genuinely upsetting in Sims 2 fandom is when sim stories and legacies actually put up warnings for gay sims.

The conflict-avoidance is strong in me, but I often think I should leave a comment saying something like, "I hope you're going to warn for heterosexual sims, too,"

Oh man, that makes me want to write something quick and stupid purely so I can have a warning like:

WARNING: Sims having heterosexual sex in the missonary position on a bed with the lights off.

madame_ugly May 14 2009, 19:12:33 UTC

I've joked about the very same thing.

Pixel_and_bean and I did something kind of like that back in the day (while we were both doing the GUCCI--group uglification challenge). We were annoyed by terms like "buttsex" (or the horribly spelled, "buttsecks") so we made a point (for our own amusement) of noting what type of sex was being had at all times. My favorites were "pussysecks" (used to refer to hetero sex) and "fistysecks" (could be for anyone--how inclusive!!).

meetme2theriver May 15 2009, 05:21:02 UTC

That's pretty awesome.

ikichi May 14 2009, 18:34:18 UTC

The warning thing irks me, too. I decided that if I were to ever toss up a warning (which I still may do when I'm ready to advertise in some of the communities) I'd just mention *everything*: sims is same sex relationships, sims in different sex relationship, Llamish (Jewish) sims, (whatever I decide to call gentile) sims, mixed generational relationships (PT and Jenny), mixed species relationships (PT and Jenny, etc), sims in interracial relationships, and so on.

Because really. I think "work safe" or "not work safe" is enough. D:

crushthecamera May 14 2009, 18:56:55 UTC

I think NSFW is pretty much all the warning that should be needed, yeah. I'd add that, for myself, if I'm going to be dealing with something in the story that could bring up unhappy or traumatic memories for some people, I chuck on a trigger warning, too, because for me that's just the basic work needed for not being a jerk. "Don't be a jerk" is a pretty good rule for me.

(I am now trying to think of what gentile could be "translated" to. I totally love the idea of Llamish, though!)

ikichi May 14 2009, 21:10:35 UTC

I don't know why, but the Curious family always seemed "Jewish" to me. ::random::

madame_ugly May 14 2009, 19:15:24 UTC

Your goal should be to write a story where the warning is longer than the actual work.

And personally, I don't know why warnings have to be on stuff at all, but I will compromise and use "NSFW" if there are pictures of an adult theme.

elaenabolton May 14 2009, 19:42:11 UTC

"Your goal should be to write a story where the warning is longer than the actual work."

That would be so awesome.

We should start up a community for that exact purpose, people writing sims stories with warnings longer than the story.

madame_ugly May 14 2009, 19:55:09 UTC

That might be a fun challenge for the simstorytellers community.

Hmm. . .thanks for the idea.

ikichi May 14 2009, 21:09:20 UTC

This needs to be the next sim storytellers challenge. Summer's coming up, schedules should be relaxing a bit. :D

madame_ugly May 15 2009, 11:24:28 UTC

I'm seriously considering it.

I just have to word it the right way, though.

strange_tomato May 15 2009, 11:38:43 UTC

I think it's a great idea.

I've also been thinking about the big flurry of Sims 3 viral marketing and how we should do a challenge for SST members to do stories that take on the Sims 3 advertising content in the game (like sweet little Mr. Humble). It would be fun, and a nice antidote to the whole thing (which I'm not really a fan of at all).

We need to revive the SST comm. For real this time (and not just for a permanent account).

madame_ugly May 15 2009, 13:46:06 UTC

Ok, I'm working on some new challenge ideas RIGHT NOW.

I'm definitely going to make a "we welcome sims 3 stories" post, too.

I like your idea. It's going on my list (definitely slated to go up right as sims 3 starts sinking in).

(oof, I felt your jab there *snicker* Yeah, I'm a whore and would have "sold out" storytellers to gets me a paid account. I have no shame! NONE!! *is teasing*)

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