A whole lot of isms, but mostly heterosexism.

[strange_tomato]

Given that this Sunday, May 17, is the International Day Against Homophobia, it's interesting that I was recently called out for being heterosexist. To my face, by a lesbian. I was pretty embarrassed. (Not that it would be any better to have this pointed out in another way, but I felt pretty careless.)

Comments

[madame_ugly]

I'm flip flopping here. I'm not sold on the "heterosexist" thing. So if you don't go around making sure you've gone to great pains to include any and every race/religion/gender/sexual orientation. . .see where I'm going with this. . .then your automatically "anti" or "ist" toward the one you forgot?

It's like you have to get pre-offended at everything to make sure you don't accidentally step on a toe you may not have even known existed.

And in the case of the poster you were making, did the woman who brought up the "heterosexism" stop to think that maybe the old folks coming to the event might be offended by same sex images? (yes, I realize in the great utopia we all strive to live in, they shouldn't but let's be realistic) It's kind of a cop out but when you're dealing with folks of an older generation, they just might not be that open to seeing two little old lesbians partying down. AND, there's a time and a place for "speaking out" and making a statement on a poster for an old people shin dig just might not be the right place to wave the gay rainbow flag.

I guess that take on it (the choose your battles thing) comes into play with sim stories. If I wanted to make a statement, I'd write a story that did just that. But when I'm writing sim stories, I don't want to have to work that hard, to educate readers about real world issues. And, let's be honest, most folks reading sim stories aren't the ones that need preached to anyway.

I'm also in smjoshsim's "I don't think about it" camp. I don't think about a sims orientation until something in game makes me think about it. I will admit that once I've type cast a sim as one persuassion or another it's weird for me to see them any other way *eyes Pascal Curious*.

(this whole topic got me to thinking, too, that you just don't see a lot of sim stories where the "wrong" side of an issue is shown as "right"--like a character that will NEVER change their stripes--even a die hard "I hate X" character always comes around a bit. Makes me kind of keen to write a truly non-sympathetic main character, someone you really dislike but who you still want to read about).

[allysonsimming]

So if you don't go around making sure you've gone to great pains to include any and every race/religion/gender/sexual orientation. . .see where I'm going with this. . .then your automatically "anti" or "ist" toward the one you forgot?

It's like you have to get pre-offended at everything to make sure you don't accidentally step on a toe you may not have even known existed.

This is what I was trying to communicate, but you did so much more eloquently. :)

[ikichi]

Well, I think a better example of "heterosexism" is the first one I was exposed to, courtesy of Alison Bechdel's Dykes to Watch Out For.

Toni and Clarice are about to have their commitment ceremony (at least a decade before their son is born), and the staff of Madwimmin books are discussing what gifts their giving. Mo (anti-marriage) makes several disparaging remarks about her friends' choice. Jezanna calls her on it, "Mo, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were being heterosexist!"

Mo sputters, "Heterosexist?! Me?!"

"You're behaving just like you've been programmed to: Two women love each other, and want to celebrate that love publicly, and you bash them for it."

It's more of mindfulness than being overly pc. And heck, I've done it too, and I'm queer- by assuming someone was straight, or that they would/wouldn't be into something because of gender expectations. And you'd think as often I've been the only black chick at a goth club I'd no better than that.

[madame_ugly]

(warning, I don't follow the strip you mentioned, though I have seen it once or twice)

But if Mo is anti-marriage isn't her negativity focused on MARRIAGE regardless of what gender combo is being married? And if that's the case, how is it heterosexist? And couldn't Jezanna just tell her to stop being MEAN (in general by pissing on their friends parade) then try to drag some ism/ist into it?

[ikichi]

It was focused on the marriage, but her arguments were just getting petty. (To her credit, when her live-in gf proposes, Mo turns her down but they stay together). Too much of what she was saying started to sound like, "Yuck girls marrying" instead of "yuck, marriage!"

Normally, I think Jez would have just told her to shut up, but this character is the intellectual feminist. I think Jex was just trying to beat her at her own game. I would have just told her to stop being a jerk and be happy for her friends.

Mo was being an ass, though. Even though Clarice was her first lover, C. and Toni have had the longest running relationship in the comic, and can do whatever the hell they want.

[madame_ugly]

LOL. I was probably being heterosexist by thinking "marriage" in a generic way! After I typed out my question it hit me, "that character's probably anti-gay marriage" (ie part of the "we don't want your stinking marriage" faction).

[ikichi]

Yea, exactly. Though she later claims that just because she "doesn't want to get married doesn't mean [she] think[s] we shouldn't be allowed to". Too bad her actions (and words) never really back her up.