(no subject)
hmm home a lot. many homes as always. for this im grateful. focusing on being grateful lately. there are many things in my life that i had forgotten how to be grateful for (taken for granted). things that maybe i didnt think i cared about like holding down my own place to live. when really that means a lot to me even if it's not necessary. it's only not necessary because so many have offered their couches/beds/floors and my car currently runs. back to square one: i need to recognize that and appreciate. i had taken for granted the ability to hold down a job, apartment, car, food etc. it's easy when you work steadily. i stay busier now without a steady job which has validated what ive always thought true: life is more than work. but simultaneously, life is a labor of love. and even after we sacrifice luxuries and things we don't think of as luxuries but also aren't necessities, and things that most people think of as necessities but actually aren't necessary at all (insurance, por ejemplo!) life still requires some dinero (or mucho dinero, depending). so i may not have money. in fact i may have negative money. yet, day by day, hour by hour, i am breathing, even easily most of the time, the muscles in my face allow me to smile, in my throat allow me to laugh, in my legs allow me to walk. so i walk on. perhaps less sure of my purpose in life than ever but perhaps the opposite. thank you.