of helium lost
I'm losing momentum.
I don't know where or when I started to feel like I should start accepting my circumstances. Acceptance is a golden task. It truly is - to mask what one truly feels about a given situation, and to simply let it go. For some, it's accepting that the world is unfair and that people don't always have the bad intentions. For me, it's knowing that there's no running away. No, running away would be a mistake on my part. You see, the rebellious part of me knows that the intelligent part would not condone this kind of behavior. I want freedom. I don't want to accept my situation as it is and give up. I finish what I start. The intelligent part of me knows that regardless of whether I truly gain freedom or not, I have forever disconnected myself from a part of my former world.
A perpetual tug of war doesn't exist. One side wins. A deadlock is not permanent. I know that my intelligent side has a stronger logical case. I tend to side with this part of myself (if it's possible to take sides with yourself). Freedom sounds enticing, luring, like bait. I don't know what I'd do with this freedom. I know that I wouldn't abuse it, of course - but I know that I have become who I am now with very limited freedom. And if suddenly, I was given tons of it, freedom that I'd never even seen - I'd probably change.
I honestly just want to become a dream.
I don't know where or when I started to feel like I should start accepting my circumstances. Acceptance is a golden task. It truly is - to mask what one truly feels about a given situation, and to simply let it go. For some, it's accepting that the world is unfair and that people don't always have the bad intentions. For me, it's knowing that there's no running away. No, running away would be a mistake on my part. You see, the rebellious part of me knows that the intelligent part would not condone this kind of behavior. I want freedom. I don't want to accept my situation as it is and give up. I finish what I start. The intelligent part of me knows that regardless of whether I truly gain freedom or not, I have forever disconnected myself from a part of my former world.
A perpetual tug of war doesn't exist. One side wins. A deadlock is not permanent. I know that my intelligent side has a stronger logical case. I tend to side with this part of myself (if it's possible to take sides with yourself). Freedom sounds enticing, luring, like bait. I don't know what I'd do with this freedom. I know that I wouldn't abuse it, of course - but I know that I have become who I am now with very limited freedom. And if suddenly, I was given tons of it, freedom that I'd never even seen - I'd probably change.
I honestly just want to become a dream.