(no subject)
life kinda sucks right now... i don't know how i'm gonna pay for school next semester, i don't know if i have a job anymore, i don't have anyone to call my own, and i just can't stand living in my house any longer... i have pink eye... which means that i cannot do anything for the rest of the weekend... i definitely have the weekend off, but can't go anywhere or do anything good. chris has a new girlfriend, molly... she's 19 with a 7 month old son... apparently he really likes her, and i hate him for that... he's supposed to love me and want me, not her... why doesn't he want me anymore... i feel like i was thrown away like yesterday's leftovers... that's all i was to him... leftovers... and the only thing i want to know is where is the guy that likes me for who i am and wants to be more than friends, but also wants me for more than sex??? where is he??? i've been promised this wonderful guy who will come and save me from my misery and sadness... but he's nowhere to be found... i thought i had him in chris... he always made bad days better... but now, it seems like talking to him only makes them worse because i realize how much i actually need him in my life... i want someone to make me feel the way i did when i was with him... i've never been happier in my entire life... he made me want to be a better person... i would have done anything to make him happy, but i didn't do it soon enough... so i lost one of the best things i've ever had... i let it slip through my fingers like sand... but that's enough about that... i need to get off of my pity pedastle and actually think of how good i have it, i have friends that love me, food every day, a job, and i'm in school, bettering myself... so life isn't that bad when i look at the glass as half full... but it's so much easier to see it as half empty.
"You have to consider the possibility that God doesn't like you. He hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen. His hate is better that His indifference... We are God's middle children, with no special place in history and no special attention. Unless we get God's attention, we have no hope of damnation or redemption... The lower you fall, the higher you fly. The farther you run, the more god wants you back."
"You have to consider the possibility that God doesn't like you. He hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen. His hate is better that His indifference... We are God's middle children, with no special place in history and no special attention. Unless we get God's attention, we have no hope of damnation or redemption... The lower you fall, the higher you fly. The farther you run, the more god wants you back."