For just_1_word | 26.7 Apology
Co-written with mrpublicity | Follows THIS & THIS
Pat's nursing skills actually managed to get Aiden vertical for the dinner at least. Aiden started feeling more normal in the afternoon and refused to let the dinner be called off. He needed Pat to at least know Marc and he had no idea why he had become so obsessed on the point. Pat reminded him that there would be plenty of time for him to meet Harri's boyfriend, but Aiden held firm, even if the protests were amidst waves of nausea and vomiting. Pat and Marc had now been inadvertently left in the living room together while Harri had followed Aiden into the kitchen when he came to get a drink of water. The water had been forgotten in favour of Aiden trying to peek around the corner and see into the living to make sure Marc and Pat hadn't decided they absolutely despised each other. Strangely enough, since Harri and Marc had arrived, the nausea was threatening to return after he had felt well for hours. He couldn't plead hangover this time.
He was already six foot, but he stood up on his tiptoes to try and get a better look. At least no weapons had been drawn yet. The crystal vase was still safely on the coffee table out of reaching distance.
Harri was watching Aiden with a mixture of amusement and concern. "Do you have idea what you look like, love?" she asked as she came up behind him. "I don't think Marc's going to kill your husband, Aiden. He's not the Mafia. I thought we'd gone over this?"
Aiden turned to her with a smirk. "I'm worried Pat might kill him," he corrected. "It would be subtle and probably very stylish, but it would also be quick. Pat's pretty damn protective when he wants to be." He went back to trying to see, but he could only see part of their reflection in the mirror over the fireplace. He scrunched his nose and leant against the wall in defeat. "Do we just leave them there together to talk or do we interrupt?"
"How do we know they're not just sitting there awkwardly begging for our return?" Harri tilted her head, and looked at Aiden. "Why would Pat kill him? Marc hasn't hurt you, has he? Did he say anything while I had my head in the toilet?"
Aiden waved his hand. "They're talking. Pat wouldn't sit there awkwardly. He would talk to him no matter what, it's just how he is. Should I be worried what they're talking about?" He looked over at her biting his lip. "I wouldn't know, I was trying not to throw up in the pot plant myself. I've had my own head in the toilet all morning."
Harri rubbed his arm sympathetically. She knew all too well how he must be feeling. "Have you even had a chance to see a doctor? Was it something you ate? Have you been swapping germs with the great unwashed again?"
"Are you insulting my husband, Ryan?" Aiden joked with a smirk. "Pat threatened to have every doctor he knew around here, sans Lachlan who was near death himself. Tara came around, but by then, I felt fine. She did the doctor thing, but couldn't find anything wrong with me. Told me to keep up the fluids and rest - like Pat's diatribe the whole day - and went home to her family at a loss." He shrugged. "Freak and random puke sessions, it seems."
"It's not... isn't there something where a man can get sympathetic pregnancy?" Harri asked as she arched her eyebrow. "You are the closest male to me. Maybe it's supposed to be Marc, but we're still working on the closeness thing. You and me already got that down."
Aiden looked at her and then burst out laughing. "No... no way," he decided, shaking his head. "I'm not doing that. It's supposed to be your boyfriend. I don't get the uterus, I'm not doing the symptoms either," he said resolutely. "It was just a thing or whatever."
Harri couldn't help but grin before she started laughing. "Maybe this is because you wanted the uterus so badly. Your body's rebelling. Look, I'm sorry this happened, love. I really am. You know I wanted you to have my uterus. Maybe your body's just trying to turn you into a woman."
"I don't want to talk about your uterus," Aiden murmured, not seeing much humour in it at all. "And it's not sympathic pregnancy. I don't even live in the same town as you. It's not my kid." But then he pressed his forehead against the wall with a small moan. "I'm sorry."
Harri frowned. "For what? I'm the one that keeps fucking things up."
"For being an arsehole. I don't know what's wrong with me." Aiden went to the fridge and pulled out the bottle of Pepto Bismol, downing a large mouthful of it much like he would a vodka shooter. "We all fuck up."
"You're not being an arsehole, you're being honest." She moved to sit down at the little table in the kitchen, and rest her head in her hand. "Not all of us break promises like I did."
"Apparently your other half does. Your kid is going to be interesting," Aiden said, but it was more from the fact he was finding it hard to believe Harri was actually pregnant. He didn't think it was jealousy he was feeling, but maybe it was. It was a lot to be jealous of. He figured if she was ever pregnant, it would be something they'd do together. Aiden had always wanted kids. Yeah, he probably was jealous she could get knocked up with about as much effort as getting sneezed on.
"We're a match made in unreliable heaven," Harri replied with a wry smile. She couldn't begin to know how to make any of it up to Aiden. She really hadn't done this on purpose. The guilt was starting to make the trips to the toilet feel like worthy punishment. She got up again to get a glass of water, and her shoulders slumped in defeat. She really wasn't going to be able to make it up to him.
Aiden clamped his hand over his mouth as the Pepto threatened to make an immediate return trip. He shoved the bottle back in the fridge and closed the door. A few of their wedding pictures were stuck to it and Pat, being his usual attentive self, had made a nice, neat collage of them all with their names and wedding date spelled out in pink alphabet magnets. He looked at the photos for a few quiet moments and then turned back to Harri. "You never promised you would have a baby for me. You just joked about it a lot. It's fine. Just one of those things. I get the marriage, you get the kid," he shrugged, hoping his statement would dismiss it in his mind. It didn't, even if what he said was the honest truth. He should never have let himself hope Harri would automatically be a surrogate for him if he ever found a partner.
"I would have done it," Harri said quietly. "I would have done it in a fucking heartbeat and it's ripping me apart to know that I've hurt you, and just about lost you because of a baby I wasn't expecting to have. I'm sorry, Aiden. I really, truly am. And if you just tell me what I can do to make it better, I will." She brought her other hand up and covered her face. "I want us to be us. Just us with marriage and a baby."
Aiden laughed just a little, shaking his head. But he went over to her and hugged her, resting his head on her shoulder. "It's not us with marriage and a baby. It's your baby, it's my marriage. Things have just... changed. They've changed. It's killing me too because I would give my damn balls to be able to have a kid with Pat. You haven't seen him with kids. He's fucking amazing. But it's my fault. I shouldn't have banked on it so much. We're a gay couple. We don't get the whole kid thing by default. Let's just blame turning thirty. These last few months, I've become starkly and soberingly aware of life in general. I got out from under my rock of Workaholic Anonymous and realised I want other things."
Harri hugged him back, taking a deep breath as she tried to will the hormones not to make her cry. Since anytime she cried it was clearly the fault of the hormones, nothing else. "You know what I mean, love! I don't mean us. I mean us in a BFFs way. And if you go giving your balls away, you're hardly going to be able to have kids are you? You can find another surrogate. Have you even talked to him about it? Kara's free. She's not even fucking that Alex yet, so she's got time to carry a child."
"We haven't talked a lot about it. I just see him with RJ and he's a natural. Why should he miss out?" Aiden shook his head. "I don't want to go shopping for surrogates like toilet paper. I don't want just anyone being the mother of my kid. I wanted you," he told her quietly. "And I'm just disappointed you won't be. I'll get over it."
"Will you still be the godfather? Please, love. I want you in our child's life. In my child's life. They need to know you." Harri closed her eyes as a wave of nausea threatened to break the moment, but it disappeared as quickly as it came. "I want you to have kids... and if you could wait a year, I'd do this all over again just for you. I really would."
Aiden shook his head. "No, but thank you. You're going to have a family of your own to take care of by then. You're going to feel differently about kids. You'll be maternal. It'll be a whole different game then and there is no way I could possibly ask that of you, Harri. No way. Pat and I... we'll be good. We'll be brilliant together. But it's just going to be us and a goldfish or something." He glanced out in the direction of the living room. "Of course I'll be their godfather. But you're going to be brilliant. You won't need me how you think you do now. I just know it. You underestimate yourself. I think Marc's going to be a great father too."
"At least get a puppy, love," Harri said as she made a face. The idea of Aiden and Pat making do with a goldfish just would not do. "I'm glad that you have faith in me, because I really don't. I'm getting better at accepting the idea that there will be a little person in our lives, but the rest will take work. I still can't do this without you. Both of you."
"Actually, I'm worried he might put bows on a dog's ears or something," Aiden laughed fondly, shaking his head. "We'll be there. At least, as much as we can when he's well. Even then, we'll do what we can. I'm sorry about everything. I swore it wouldn't upset me, but I guess it just did when it came to the forefront that kids might just be a mere hope for Pat and I."
Harri kissed his temple and hugged Aiden again. "I'm sorry too, love. For everything. Do you think we should go back in there now? They might be wondering if we're suddenly experimenting with our sexuality."
"And if they aren't, they might be constructing their own secrets without us," Aiden pointed out. "Which could be extremely worrying. And you should know, I never told Pat that Marc was a member of the Secret Service. I didn't know if Marc would come as himself or what. Pat's cluey, though. It's up to Marc how he deals with that."
"I didn't even think about that," Harri admitted. "I never questioned your ability to keep his secret. Our secret. We'll let Marc deal with it. In the meantime, let's both just try and attempt to last the rest of the evening without fighting for the bathroom."
Aiden nodded and went to the fridge to get the Pepto out again. That looked like it was going to be his drink of choice tonight. "I did tell Pat that Marc wasn't all he seemed. That he had secrets and reason for them. He never pushed me to know, but he appreciated being told that much. I was actually very surprised when Marc showed up without the bells and whistles of a disguise, even if he arrived with sunglasses and a hoodie," he laughed. "I think we're all just going to have to deal with this, however we need to."
Harri picked up the water to bring with her and nodded. "I think he just wants to pay you the courtesy of being as honest as he can. He likes you, love. He knows how much you mean to me, and by extension, how much Pat means to you. We'll work it out, Aiden."
"And here's hoping he likes my husband," Aiden added with a smirk and gestured towards the door for her. "And vice versa."
Words: 2241 | All muses referred to with permission
Pat's nursing skills actually managed to get Aiden vertical for the dinner at least. Aiden started feeling more normal in the afternoon and refused to let the dinner be called off. He needed Pat to at least know Marc and he had no idea why he had become so obsessed on the point. Pat reminded him that there would be plenty of time for him to meet Harri's boyfriend, but Aiden held firm, even if the protests were amidst waves of nausea and vomiting. Pat and Marc had now been inadvertently left in the living room together while Harri had followed Aiden into the kitchen when he came to get a drink of water. The water had been forgotten in favour of Aiden trying to peek around the corner and see into the living to make sure Marc and Pat hadn't decided they absolutely despised each other. Strangely enough, since Harri and Marc had arrived, the nausea was threatening to return after he had felt well for hours. He couldn't plead hangover this time.
He was already six foot, but he stood up on his tiptoes to try and get a better look. At least no weapons had been drawn yet. The crystal vase was still safely on the coffee table out of reaching distance.
Harri was watching Aiden with a mixture of amusement and concern. "Do you have idea what you look like, love?" she asked as she came up behind him. "I don't think Marc's going to kill your husband, Aiden. He's not the Mafia. I thought we'd gone over this?"
Aiden turned to her with a smirk. "I'm worried Pat might kill him," he corrected. "It would be subtle and probably very stylish, but it would also be quick. Pat's pretty damn protective when he wants to be." He went back to trying to see, but he could only see part of their reflection in the mirror over the fireplace. He scrunched his nose and leant against the wall in defeat. "Do we just leave them there together to talk or do we interrupt?"
"How do we know they're not just sitting there awkwardly begging for our return?" Harri tilted her head, and looked at Aiden. "Why would Pat kill him? Marc hasn't hurt you, has he? Did he say anything while I had my head in the toilet?"
Aiden waved his hand. "They're talking. Pat wouldn't sit there awkwardly. He would talk to him no matter what, it's just how he is. Should I be worried what they're talking about?" He looked over at her biting his lip. "I wouldn't know, I was trying not to throw up in the pot plant myself. I've had my own head in the toilet all morning."
Harri rubbed his arm sympathetically. She knew all too well how he must be feeling. "Have you even had a chance to see a doctor? Was it something you ate? Have you been swapping germs with the great unwashed again?"
"Are you insulting my husband, Ryan?" Aiden joked with a smirk. "Pat threatened to have every doctor he knew around here, sans Lachlan who was near death himself. Tara came around, but by then, I felt fine. She did the doctor thing, but couldn't find anything wrong with me. Told me to keep up the fluids and rest - like Pat's diatribe the whole day - and went home to her family at a loss." He shrugged. "Freak and random puke sessions, it seems."
"It's not... isn't there something where a man can get sympathetic pregnancy?" Harri asked as she arched her eyebrow. "You are the closest male to me. Maybe it's supposed to be Marc, but we're still working on the closeness thing. You and me already got that down."
Aiden looked at her and then burst out laughing. "No... no way," he decided, shaking his head. "I'm not doing that. It's supposed to be your boyfriend. I don't get the uterus, I'm not doing the symptoms either," he said resolutely. "It was just a thing or whatever."
Harri couldn't help but grin before she started laughing. "Maybe this is because you wanted the uterus so badly. Your body's rebelling. Look, I'm sorry this happened, love. I really am. You know I wanted you to have my uterus. Maybe your body's just trying to turn you into a woman."
"I don't want to talk about your uterus," Aiden murmured, not seeing much humour in it at all. "And it's not sympathic pregnancy. I don't even live in the same town as you. It's not my kid." But then he pressed his forehead against the wall with a small moan. "I'm sorry."
Harri frowned. "For what? I'm the one that keeps fucking things up."
"For being an arsehole. I don't know what's wrong with me." Aiden went to the fridge and pulled out the bottle of Pepto Bismol, downing a large mouthful of it much like he would a vodka shooter. "We all fuck up."
"You're not being an arsehole, you're being honest." She moved to sit down at the little table in the kitchen, and rest her head in her hand. "Not all of us break promises like I did."
"Apparently your other half does. Your kid is going to be interesting," Aiden said, but it was more from the fact he was finding it hard to believe Harri was actually pregnant. He didn't think it was jealousy he was feeling, but maybe it was. It was a lot to be jealous of. He figured if she was ever pregnant, it would be something they'd do together. Aiden had always wanted kids. Yeah, he probably was jealous she could get knocked up with about as much effort as getting sneezed on.
"We're a match made in unreliable heaven," Harri replied with a wry smile. She couldn't begin to know how to make any of it up to Aiden. She really hadn't done this on purpose. The guilt was starting to make the trips to the toilet feel like worthy punishment. She got up again to get a glass of water, and her shoulders slumped in defeat. She really wasn't going to be able to make it up to him.
Aiden clamped his hand over his mouth as the Pepto threatened to make an immediate return trip. He shoved the bottle back in the fridge and closed the door. A few of their wedding pictures were stuck to it and Pat, being his usual attentive self, had made a nice, neat collage of them all with their names and wedding date spelled out in pink alphabet magnets. He looked at the photos for a few quiet moments and then turned back to Harri. "You never promised you would have a baby for me. You just joked about it a lot. It's fine. Just one of those things. I get the marriage, you get the kid," he shrugged, hoping his statement would dismiss it in his mind. It didn't, even if what he said was the honest truth. He should never have let himself hope Harri would automatically be a surrogate for him if he ever found a partner.
"I would have done it," Harri said quietly. "I would have done it in a fucking heartbeat and it's ripping me apart to know that I've hurt you, and just about lost you because of a baby I wasn't expecting to have. I'm sorry, Aiden. I really, truly am. And if you just tell me what I can do to make it better, I will." She brought her other hand up and covered her face. "I want us to be us. Just us with marriage and a baby."
Aiden laughed just a little, shaking his head. But he went over to her and hugged her, resting his head on her shoulder. "It's not us with marriage and a baby. It's your baby, it's my marriage. Things have just... changed. They've changed. It's killing me too because I would give my damn balls to be able to have a kid with Pat. You haven't seen him with kids. He's fucking amazing. But it's my fault. I shouldn't have banked on it so much. We're a gay couple. We don't get the whole kid thing by default. Let's just blame turning thirty. These last few months, I've become starkly and soberingly aware of life in general. I got out from under my rock of Workaholic Anonymous and realised I want other things."
Harri hugged him back, taking a deep breath as she tried to will the hormones not to make her cry. Since anytime she cried it was clearly the fault of the hormones, nothing else. "You know what I mean, love! I don't mean us. I mean us in a BFFs way. And if you go giving your balls away, you're hardly going to be able to have kids are you? You can find another surrogate. Have you even talked to him about it? Kara's free. She's not even fucking that Alex yet, so she's got time to carry a child."
"We haven't talked a lot about it. I just see him with RJ and he's a natural. Why should he miss out?" Aiden shook his head. "I don't want to go shopping for surrogates like toilet paper. I don't want just anyone being the mother of my kid. I wanted you," he told her quietly. "And I'm just disappointed you won't be. I'll get over it."
"Will you still be the godfather? Please, love. I want you in our child's life. In my child's life. They need to know you." Harri closed her eyes as a wave of nausea threatened to break the moment, but it disappeared as quickly as it came. "I want you to have kids... and if you could wait a year, I'd do this all over again just for you. I really would."
Aiden shook his head. "No, but thank you. You're going to have a family of your own to take care of by then. You're going to feel differently about kids. You'll be maternal. It'll be a whole different game then and there is no way I could possibly ask that of you, Harri. No way. Pat and I... we'll be good. We'll be brilliant together. But it's just going to be us and a goldfish or something." He glanced out in the direction of the living room. "Of course I'll be their godfather. But you're going to be brilliant. You won't need me how you think you do now. I just know it. You underestimate yourself. I think Marc's going to be a great father too."
"At least get a puppy, love," Harri said as she made a face. The idea of Aiden and Pat making do with a goldfish just would not do. "I'm glad that you have faith in me, because I really don't. I'm getting better at accepting the idea that there will be a little person in our lives, but the rest will take work. I still can't do this without you. Both of you."
"Actually, I'm worried he might put bows on a dog's ears or something," Aiden laughed fondly, shaking his head. "We'll be there. At least, as much as we can when he's well. Even then, we'll do what we can. I'm sorry about everything. I swore it wouldn't upset me, but I guess it just did when it came to the forefront that kids might just be a mere hope for Pat and I."
Harri kissed his temple and hugged Aiden again. "I'm sorry too, love. For everything. Do you think we should go back in there now? They might be wondering if we're suddenly experimenting with our sexuality."
"And if they aren't, they might be constructing their own secrets without us," Aiden pointed out. "Which could be extremely worrying. And you should know, I never told Pat that Marc was a member of the Secret Service. I didn't know if Marc would come as himself or what. Pat's cluey, though. It's up to Marc how he deals with that."
"I didn't even think about that," Harri admitted. "I never questioned your ability to keep his secret. Our secret. We'll let Marc deal with it. In the meantime, let's both just try and attempt to last the rest of the evening without fighting for the bathroom."
Aiden nodded and went to the fridge to get the Pepto out again. That looked like it was going to be his drink of choice tonight. "I did tell Pat that Marc wasn't all he seemed. That he had secrets and reason for them. He never pushed me to know, but he appreciated being told that much. I was actually very surprised when Marc showed up without the bells and whistles of a disguise, even if he arrived with sunglasses and a hoodie," he laughed. "I think we're all just going to have to deal with this, however we need to."
Harri picked up the water to bring with her and nodded. "I think he just wants to pay you the courtesy of being as honest as he can. He likes you, love. He knows how much you mean to me, and by extension, how much Pat means to you. We'll work it out, Aiden."
"And here's hoping he likes my husband," Aiden added with a smirk and gestured towards the door for her. "And vice versa."
Words: 2241 | All muses referred to with permission