Something is rotten in the Kingdom of Gwynedd

Feb 12, 2006 21:02

From "Math ap Mathonwy", summarized and mangled for your convenience:

Gilfaethwy fancies Goewin, his uncle's foot holder. His uncle, Math ap Mathonwy, King of Gwynedd must rest his feet in the lap of a virgin unless he is at war or wants to be (and hey, who wants to be at war when you have a virgin's lap?) So Gwydion, Gilfaethwy's brother, offers a solution. He will start a war. Now, they didn't have the spectre of Weapons of Mass Destruction in those days, so Gwydion used plan 'B'--otherworldly swine. I'm sure I don't need to explain how that works.

When Math and his troops go to war, the brothers 'G' sneak back to the castle, and Gilfaethwy rapes Goewin.

Math wins the war and makes peace with his foes, who then return home defeated, but Worry-free. However when Math returns home, he is pissed off. He learns that Gwydion started the war, and why. Did I mention Math is a badass (badass, not barddas) wizard? He wand-whips the two men for a bit and then places a curse on them: they will spend the next year as deer, one stag and one hind. The next year they will be pigs. The third year they will be wolves. And each year they will breed.

Now I've gotten some rather disturbing spam, but I don't think I've ever seen any about incestuous homosexual bestiality before. I feel for the poor monasterial scribe writing this all down; I imagine it sure put hair on his tonsure.

After the three years, Math returns them back to their human form. Their offspring, a fawn, a wolf pup, and a piglet are turned into fine young men. Then Math names them: Bleiddwn (blaidd=wolf), Hyddwn (hydd=deer), and Hychdwn Hir (hwch=pig). Hir means long or tall. Let that sink in for a moment.

Yes, that's right: Math named one of the boys Long Pig http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long_pig

the other other white meat, math is hard, mabinogion, monk porn

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