To my fellow humans:
You only lose your friends when you speak your mind. So... here we are in KY. No job yet, but we've just got to get out of this snarl we're caught up in; meanwhile, we've gone from a state of moral atrophy to a state of intellectual atrophy (and this is ME saying that, who is not the brightest bulb himself). Jess & I have been tighter than ever, "circling the wagons" as Tony would call it. Adversity is a firing pot for couples, and we are coming through w/ flying colors!
You know, there's so much to say. Being dependant on people so utterly strips you of the ability to speak your mind. Tony, Kerri, and David... you guys are my best friends in New England, and I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I'm even sorrier, however, that none of you think you need any. Muse, Cait, AErica...I wish we'd gotten together more often.
Roger. Hopefully, I will get up that way this summer, and you're sweet as pie to be as friendly to me after all this time... but any empath w/ a pulse could tell even over a phone that there is a world of animosity there for me, and I don't wish to inflame it w/ my presence. You are my brother, and I will do anything for you; yet I feel that opinion... never mind. You and I both know who hates me in your house, and it's tiring to try and dance around it prettily. I hope to see you again.
Anyway, the ocean was nice. Golly! I've burnt my bridges in MA, NY, RI, TN, I'm on a freakin' roll! How Jessica loves me escapes my understanding sometimes.
But then I realize, at times like this- I'm merely seeing myself as others see me, which is scarcely who I really am at all. I ache for a spiritual guide. Not just another human (I'm fully aware that teachers surround me), but someone who has reached the end and decided to turn around and help those of us still muddling toward the light.
PS- For those who don't know me (and/or those who've forgotten), and think this is an angry letter... Consider that if it were written 10 years ago, it would have been chock-full of "hate", "fuck", and lots of other abrasive vernacular, all in upper-case letters.
Oh, yeah, Stacy is worried for Jessica's safety, as I "have a dark and dangerous side". That's rich. You know what, though? Humans are no longer worth the effort it takes to roll that side out anymore.
You know, there's so much to say. Being dependant on people so utterly strips you of the ability to speak your mind. Tony, Kerri, and David... you guys are my best friends in New England, and I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I'm even sorrier, however, that none of you think you need any. Muse, Cait, AErica...I wish we'd gotten together more often.
Roger. Hopefully, I will get up that way this summer, and you're sweet as pie to be as friendly to me after all this time... but any empath w/ a pulse could tell even over a phone that there is a world of animosity there for me, and I don't wish to inflame it w/ my presence. You are my brother, and I will do anything for you; yet I feel that opinion... never mind. You and I both know who hates me in your house, and it's tiring to try and dance around it prettily. I hope to see you again.
Anyway, the ocean was nice. Golly! I've burnt my bridges in MA, NY, RI, TN, I'm on a freakin' roll! How Jessica loves me escapes my understanding sometimes.
But then I realize, at times like this- I'm merely seeing myself as others see me, which is scarcely who I really am at all. I ache for a spiritual guide. Not just another human (I'm fully aware that teachers surround me), but someone who has reached the end and decided to turn around and help those of us still muddling toward the light.
PS- For those who don't know me (and/or those who've forgotten), and think this is an angry letter... Consider that if it were written 10 years ago, it would have been chock-full of "hate", "fuck", and lots of other abrasive vernacular, all in upper-case letters.
Oh, yeah, Stacy is worried for Jessica's safety, as I "have a dark and dangerous side". That's rich. You know what, though? Humans are no longer worth the effort it takes to roll that side out anymore.