(no subject)
Let's start off with a bang...
How can comments from people you don't know, like or even respect have the power to make you re-think things you thought were secure?
"Seriously though, I feel bad for his new fuck, cuz he's just as bad to her as he was to me, and she's stupider than I am cuz he's talking mad shit about her in his LJ and she's reading it and laughing it off. I wonder if she understands he totally means it..."
"hmmm... you don't really understand... i feel even more sorry for you now"
I'm violently shaking right now.
I would love to bury my head in a pillow and scream.
Lately I arrive at the point of panic very, very easily. I feel it physically more intensely than I ever have before. It might be the amount of coffee that I drink now; it's extremely detrimental to someone who is prone to panic to ingest so much caffeine.
Don't go down
Stay with me, baby stay
Her mama called me a thief
And her dad
Called himself commander and chief
I fought him off with my love
But I knew the sense of worthlessness she would have to rise above
Don't go down
Oh, Mr. Smith.
When it was me
I was momentarily proud
I'm drunk on dreams now I'm glad
I didn't say out loud
You said you'd be for real but
I don't believe that you are
So bad, so far. you make me sad, shooting star.
You distant cold, a sight to behold
Everybody just sighs. no one gets on
I have a shooting star tattooed on me. PERMANENTLY. To remind me to risk is to feel. Or that was the idea.
But perhaps it is truly to remind me how cold and distant I truly am.
And how stuck in the incidents and accidents of the past...
This is the place
You'll end up when
You lose the chase
Where you're dragged against your will
From a basement on the hill
All anybody knows is
You're not like them
They kick you in the head
And send you back to bed
Isolation pulled you past a tunnel into a
Bright world where you can make a place to stay
But everybody's scared of this place
And they're staying away
Your little house on memory lane
The mayor's name is fear
His force patrols the pier
By a mountain up of cliche
That advances everyday
The doctor speak a cloud
He rains out loud
You'll keep the doors and windows shut
And swear
Never show a soul again
But isolation pushes you ‘til every muscle aches
Down the only road it ever takes
But everybody's scared of this place
They're staying away
Your little house on memory lane
If it's your decision
To be open about yourself
Be careful or else
Be careful or else
Uncomfortable apart
It's all written on my chart
And I take what's given to me
Most cooperatively
I do what people say
And lie in bed all day
Absolutely horrified
I hope you're satisfied
Isolation pushes past self-hatred, guilt and shame
To a place where suffering's a game
But everybody's scared of this place
And staying away
Your little house on memory lane
Your little house on memory lane
I'd probably live on Memory Lane, if it was possible. Surrounded by the ease of pain already felt, and work already done...
And wallowing in just how far stars are from the sun...
Shine on me baby
Cause its raining
In my heart
Shine on me baby
Cause its raining
In my heart
Oh man. This isn't a good day. Not at all.
How can comments from people you don't know, like or even respect have the power to make you re-think things you thought were secure?
"Seriously though, I feel bad for his new fuck, cuz he's just as bad to her as he was to me, and she's stupider than I am cuz he's talking mad shit about her in his LJ and she's reading it and laughing it off. I wonder if she understands he totally means it..."
"hmmm... you don't really understand... i feel even more sorry for you now"
I'm violently shaking right now.
I would love to bury my head in a pillow and scream.
Lately I arrive at the point of panic very, very easily. I feel it physically more intensely than I ever have before. It might be the amount of coffee that I drink now; it's extremely detrimental to someone who is prone to panic to ingest so much caffeine.
Don't go down
Stay with me, baby stay
Her mama called me a thief
And her dad
Called himself commander and chief
I fought him off with my love
But I knew the sense of worthlessness she would have to rise above
Don't go down
Oh, Mr. Smith.
When it was me
I was momentarily proud
I'm drunk on dreams now I'm glad
I didn't say out loud
You said you'd be for real but
I don't believe that you are
So bad, so far. you make me sad, shooting star.
You distant cold, a sight to behold
Everybody just sighs. no one gets on
I have a shooting star tattooed on me. PERMANENTLY. To remind me to risk is to feel. Or that was the idea.
But perhaps it is truly to remind me how cold and distant I truly am.
And how stuck in the incidents and accidents of the past...
This is the place
You'll end up when
You lose the chase
Where you're dragged against your will
From a basement on the hill
All anybody knows is
You're not like them
They kick you in the head
And send you back to bed
Isolation pulled you past a tunnel into a
Bright world where you can make a place to stay
But everybody's scared of this place
And they're staying away
Your little house on memory lane
The mayor's name is fear
His force patrols the pier
By a mountain up of cliche
That advances everyday
The doctor speak a cloud
He rains out loud
You'll keep the doors and windows shut
And swear
Never show a soul again
But isolation pushes you ‘til every muscle aches
Down the only road it ever takes
But everybody's scared of this place
They're staying away
Your little house on memory lane
If it's your decision
To be open about yourself
Be careful or else
Be careful or else
Uncomfortable apart
It's all written on my chart
And I take what's given to me
Most cooperatively
I do what people say
And lie in bed all day
Absolutely horrified
I hope you're satisfied
Isolation pushes past self-hatred, guilt and shame
To a place where suffering's a game
But everybody's scared of this place
And staying away
Your little house on memory lane
Your little house on memory lane
I'd probably live on Memory Lane, if it was possible. Surrounded by the ease of pain already felt, and work already done...
And wallowing in just how far stars are from the sun...
Shine on me baby
Cause its raining
In my heart
Shine on me baby
Cause its raining
In my heart
Oh man. This isn't a good day. Not at all.