crappy fucking birthday to me
God, you know, if something that i actually wished were to come true id probably have a heart attack and die. wanna hear how beyond shitty this week/weekend has gone/is going? OK, so i have tentative plans on Friday to go out to Sycamore which i havent done in a couple months. This is my birthday present to myself. So i save the money in the bank to make sure i dont spend it. Then someone has a little problem and i say "no problem, ill give you what i have" which means id use my Sycamore money and i cant go so i e-mail my friend Phil and tell him i cant go in Friday and he says its ok cuz he and his goddaughter can go to the movies instead. THEN, the next day i find out from the person in a jam that im not needed NOW and everythings alright but Phil is going out with his goddaughter so im screwed on Friday. But fine, whatever...i have ONE wish for my birthday. For a certain someone to call me or ill call her or whatever the hell...so i can spend the day with her and talk and maybe evwn come close to enjoying the day, as rare as that may be, but OF COURSE SINCE ITS ME, THAT DOESNT FUCKING HAPPEN so i spend the whole day curled up on the couch trying to count the reasons why i should give a shit about waking up another day. Nicole calls...but only after she was asked to...i actually figure this out by the messages she leaves so i purposely dont answer the phone because i dont need fucking pity calls and thats what this was. so in summary, im all alone on my birthday with no genuine calls or letters or e-mails, and i have no friday plans. yay me. and its NOT a point of "you people should remember" me and all that because frankly, for the most part i dont give a shit. the point is when i specifically ASK someone for something and they say YES....well why cant yes actually mean "yes". THAT is my point.