And I could be happy if only I'd try...but I don't try. I don't try
so it was a long ass drive home. i'm fucking tired, i can't sleep, and it feels like i'm still driving. and now i'm broke as shit but it was fun and nice to have have to see any of my family for 72 hours. but it was also very difficult. it was great hanging out with wiL and angie, they make me smile and feel good. but there's nothing that can stop me from feeling like the proverbial 3rd wheel. i envy anyone who's fallen alseep with the person they like/love in their arms. i think it would be absolutely amazing to just hold someone as they fell asleep. it hurt so much to lie there on the floor with only blankets to keep me company. i'd give anything just to live one day where i have someone to love and whom loves me as well. and now i find myself thinking of the days when kelli and i were dating online, i miss what we had. we don't talk as much, and i miss her dearly. i'm sorry if i hurt you, i didn't know how to feel anything back then. maybe someday.....