(no subject)
I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't breathe. Caro sends me a text this morning that says "Just remember it's your brain affecting your body. You are ok. You will be ok." But what do I do when my body is breaking, and my brain is already broken? I don't know; I don't know what to do. A phone call at 8 am and I lied. I was half asleep, but I lied to her. I heard myself saying those words and I am regretting it already. I need to make it to Friday. Friday, friday, friday. I was calmly sipping coffee, but I started shaking. My heart was racing, my thoughts were racing. Maybe it is the caffeine I am telling myself. Maybe. Okay, I'll stop the liquid intake. I feel completely nauseated anyway, but I can't convey this any better. I CAN'T FRICKIN BREATHE AND THIS IS SCARING ME. WHY CAN'T I DO ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?