the funerals came, and the tears went, but no one remembers them now
I'm afraid to let go or pull away, afraid that if I do, you won't be there. Things get around, no matter how hard I try to hide them. Sitting here, thinking, thnking about luck and fate, Tragic. How can anything mater when there's death all around, around some turn, waiting, waiting, for just the right moment? Sometimes is takes some distance. You have to get some distance to see things clearly. I'm always searching, but never finding, never finding what I'm looking for. No matter where life takes you, you’ve always got to move on, and continue life as you planned. Photographs, now they can say the things that I can't speak out loud. "We all have something." Words I've heard someone else use. Maybe a counselor. Maybe the one who liked to look on the bright side of everything. But I keep thinking about that moment. The moment that I let her slip away. Now it seems pointless to hold on to anything. I drink it in and wonder how everyone else can still be the same when I am so different. Outside and in. I'm just holding on to the memories, I'm holding on to my life. It made me think that everything was about to arrive- the moment when you know it all and everything is decided forever. I'm afraid of being alone, I really am.