(no subject)
So my life has been going to hell in a hand basket...Tommy and I have been fighting over him possibly of cheating on me w/ his ex-girlfriend Shelbie. Very rarely do I ever check his email, and the one time that I do, I find out that he is still talking to Shelbie! *NOT* happy @ all about that, then I come to find all of these messages from her on his myspace. But he replied to just about all of them. But there was one that bothered me the most, and it was on July 4th that it was written. He asked her, "WHEN CAN I HIT THAT SWEET ASS AGAIN"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMFG!!!!
I was not a happy camper! And all I could do was stare @ what was in front of my eyes. And the fact that in every email he said love ya babe or just the fact that love was mentioned, towards her of all ppl!!! When he came home I had it on the computer screen BIG and BOLD for him to read. It took everything in my power not to jump up and knock the shit out of him, but it also took everything in my power to not just get up and run to him, and tell him what I was feeling... So I ran to our room and just balled on the bed, he came in and did nothing but apoligize to me, for the things that he had been writing her. He honestly didn't realize that writing things like that was bad, he was just "playing" and acting like a friend.
I don't write things like that to my friends, let alone my ex-boyfriend. I don't even talk to my ex...b/c it would bother Tommy and plus I don't want anything to do w/ him. I can understand that he wants to @ least be somewhat of friends w/ her, but it bothers me too much. B/c I'm afraid he would go back to her. He did it once before, and I still think the only reason we got back together was, b/c I turned out pregnant. I hate that I think that, but it's how I feel. I don't want to tell him all of this, b/c I know that he'll get mad. And I don't want to fight anymore. I'm 30 weeks pregnant today, and I only have 10 more weeks until I have Lilly. I just don't want to fight. For crying out loud he and I are about to be married and have a baby together. I don't need all this bullshit!
But the only other thing that is bothering me is, the fact that in one of Shelbie's old blogs, she wroted about how when Tommy and I were having trouble, that he cheated on me w/ her a bunch of times, and the only reason she did it was b/c she thought that he was going to leave me. Which he did, but then came back. Tommy's NOT a bad guy!!! I love Tommy w/ all of my heart, and I'm not innocent in this either. I have done my fair share of bad things in our relationship. But I just want him and I to just get on w/ our lives and be happy. I don't want all of our past mistakes to play a role in our everyday lives. I'm sick of it.
I *LOVE* Tommy w/ everything that I am! I am having this man's baby, and I am about to make the bigest decision of my life, and that is to be his wife. I just want us to be happy and to be okay. I would give anything for this man, even my own life just to see him happy. I wish that he could see how much I love him, but I think if I show him excatly how much, he would freak.
I just hope that things get better in due time...
I'm tired and pregnant, not a good combination, haven't been able to sleep worth shit. But hey shit happens....night night...
OMFG!!!!
I was not a happy camper! And all I could do was stare @ what was in front of my eyes. And the fact that in every email he said love ya babe or just the fact that love was mentioned, towards her of all ppl!!! When he came home I had it on the computer screen BIG and BOLD for him to read. It took everything in my power not to jump up and knock the shit out of him, but it also took everything in my power to not just get up and run to him, and tell him what I was feeling... So I ran to our room and just balled on the bed, he came in and did nothing but apoligize to me, for the things that he had been writing her. He honestly didn't realize that writing things like that was bad, he was just "playing" and acting like a friend.
I don't write things like that to my friends, let alone my ex-boyfriend. I don't even talk to my ex...b/c it would bother Tommy and plus I don't want anything to do w/ him. I can understand that he wants to @ least be somewhat of friends w/ her, but it bothers me too much. B/c I'm afraid he would go back to her. He did it once before, and I still think the only reason we got back together was, b/c I turned out pregnant. I hate that I think that, but it's how I feel. I don't want to tell him all of this, b/c I know that he'll get mad. And I don't want to fight anymore. I'm 30 weeks pregnant today, and I only have 10 more weeks until I have Lilly. I just don't want to fight. For crying out loud he and I are about to be married and have a baby together. I don't need all this bullshit!
But the only other thing that is bothering me is, the fact that in one of Shelbie's old blogs, she wroted about how when Tommy and I were having trouble, that he cheated on me w/ her a bunch of times, and the only reason she did it was b/c she thought that he was going to leave me. Which he did, but then came back. Tommy's NOT a bad guy!!! I love Tommy w/ all of my heart, and I'm not innocent in this either. I have done my fair share of bad things in our relationship. But I just want him and I to just get on w/ our lives and be happy. I don't want all of our past mistakes to play a role in our everyday lives. I'm sick of it.
I *LOVE* Tommy w/ everything that I am! I am having this man's baby, and I am about to make the bigest decision of my life, and that is to be his wife. I just want us to be happy and to be okay. I would give anything for this man, even my own life just to see him happy. I wish that he could see how much I love him, but I think if I show him excatly how much, he would freak.
I just hope that things get better in due time...
I'm tired and pregnant, not a good combination, haven't been able to sleep worth shit. But hey shit happens....night night...