"Joseph and his Friend" by Bayard Taylor
I feel a sense of urgency as I read this book. It crumbles in my hands as I turn the pages; it's as if its begging me to finish it before it disintegrates and the story is gone forever. The story of Joseph and Philip has lived since 1870, and I want to tell you about it, to preserve it and to pass it on.
Here are just a few excerpts:
Joseph feels a need to get away, so he saddles his horse and invents an errand that will take him away from his house:
Hitherto a conscience not born of his own nature, a very fair and saintly-visaged jailer of thought, but a jailer none the less, had kept strict guard over every outward movement of his mind, gently touching hope and desire and conjecture when they reached a certain line, and saying, "No; no farther: it is prohibited." But now, with one strong, involuntary throb, he found himself beyond the line, with all the ranges ever trodden by man stretching forward to a limitless horizon. He rose in his stirrups, threw out his arms, lifted his face towards the sky, and cried, "God! I know what I am!"
He's back from his ride and and is having a talk with himself (the book switches POVs frequently)
Love is hidden as if it were a reproach; friendship watched, lest it express its warmth too frankly; joy and grief and doubt and anxiety repressed as much as possible. A great lid is shut down on the human race. They must painfully stoop and creep, instead of standing erect with only God's heaven over their heads. I am lonely, but I know not how to cry for companionship; my words would not be understood, or, if they were, would not be answered. Only one gate is free to me, - that leading to the love of woman. There, at least, must be such an intense, intimate sympathy as shall make the reciprocal revelation of the lives possible!
Joseph is on a train where he meets Philip Held and immediately feels a connection with him. There is an accident and Philip saves him. They discover they are heading for the same place. Philip gets Joseph home to his aunt who immediately orders the shocked Joseph to bed. Instead of having thoughts of his fiancee, Julia, his mind is full of Philip.
If he had not been so innocent, - if he had not been quite as unconscious of his inner nature as he was over-conscious of his external self, - he would have perceived that his thoughts dwelt much more on Philip Held than on Julia Blessing. His mind seemed to run through a swift, involuntary chain of reasoning, to account to himself for his feeling towards her, and her inevitable share in his future; but towards Philip his heart sprang with an instinct beyond his control. It was impossible to imagine that the latter also would not be shot, like a bright thread, through the web of his coming days.
Joseph visits Philip just days before his wedding. He is having doubts about the marriage, but feels going through with it is the only thing he can do. He tries not to think too much about these doubts; he considers the marriage inevitable. Joseph says he and Julia love each other, but the words don't appear to convince either Joseph or Philip.
Philip: "Generally, a woman doesn't adapt herself so readily to a change of surroundings as a man: where there is love, however, everything is possible."
"There is, there is!" Joseph exclaimed, certifying the fact to himself as much as to his friend. He rose and stood beside him.
Philip looked at him with grave, tender eyes.
"What can I do?" he said.
"What should you do?" Joseph asked.
"This!" Philip exclaimed, layiing his hands on Joseph's shoulders, - "this, Joseph! I can be nearer than a brother, I know that I am in your heart as you are in mine. There is no faith between us that needs to be limited, there is no truth too secret to be veiled. A man's perfect friendship is rarer than a woman's love, and most hearts are content with one or the other: not so with yours and mine! I read it in your eyes, when you opened them on my knee: I see it in your face now. Don't speak: let us clasp hands."
But Joseph could not speak.
*******
I have a downloaded copy of this story, but for some reason I wanted to hold the real book in my hands. I had no idea such a physically fragile book would be available for loan, and I feel grateful to have it. But perhaps loaning it out is better than keeping it under lock and key. The book will be able to tell its story until all of its pages crumble to dust.
Here are just a few excerpts:
Joseph feels a need to get away, so he saddles his horse and invents an errand that will take him away from his house:
Hitherto a conscience not born of his own nature, a very fair and saintly-visaged jailer of thought, but a jailer none the less, had kept strict guard over every outward movement of his mind, gently touching hope and desire and conjecture when they reached a certain line, and saying, "No; no farther: it is prohibited." But now, with one strong, involuntary throb, he found himself beyond the line, with all the ranges ever trodden by man stretching forward to a limitless horizon. He rose in his stirrups, threw out his arms, lifted his face towards the sky, and cried, "God! I know what I am!"
He's back from his ride and and is having a talk with himself (the book switches POVs frequently)
Love is hidden as if it were a reproach; friendship watched, lest it express its warmth too frankly; joy and grief and doubt and anxiety repressed as much as possible. A great lid is shut down on the human race. They must painfully stoop and creep, instead of standing erect with only God's heaven over their heads. I am lonely, but I know not how to cry for companionship; my words would not be understood, or, if they were, would not be answered. Only one gate is free to me, - that leading to the love of woman. There, at least, must be such an intense, intimate sympathy as shall make the reciprocal revelation of the lives possible!
Joseph is on a train where he meets Philip Held and immediately feels a connection with him. There is an accident and Philip saves him. They discover they are heading for the same place. Philip gets Joseph home to his aunt who immediately orders the shocked Joseph to bed. Instead of having thoughts of his fiancee, Julia, his mind is full of Philip.
If he had not been so innocent, - if he had not been quite as unconscious of his inner nature as he was over-conscious of his external self, - he would have perceived that his thoughts dwelt much more on Philip Held than on Julia Blessing. His mind seemed to run through a swift, involuntary chain of reasoning, to account to himself for his feeling towards her, and her inevitable share in his future; but towards Philip his heart sprang with an instinct beyond his control. It was impossible to imagine that the latter also would not be shot, like a bright thread, through the web of his coming days.
Joseph visits Philip just days before his wedding. He is having doubts about the marriage, but feels going through with it is the only thing he can do. He tries not to think too much about these doubts; he considers the marriage inevitable. Joseph says he and Julia love each other, but the words don't appear to convince either Joseph or Philip.
Philip: "Generally, a woman doesn't adapt herself so readily to a change of surroundings as a man: where there is love, however, everything is possible."
"There is, there is!" Joseph exclaimed, certifying the fact to himself as much as to his friend. He rose and stood beside him.
Philip looked at him with grave, tender eyes.
"What can I do?" he said.
"What should you do?" Joseph asked.
"This!" Philip exclaimed, layiing his hands on Joseph's shoulders, - "this, Joseph! I can be nearer than a brother, I know that I am in your heart as you are in mine. There is no faith between us that needs to be limited, there is no truth too secret to be veiled. A man's perfect friendship is rarer than a woman's love, and most hearts are content with one or the other: not so with yours and mine! I read it in your eyes, when you opened them on my knee: I see it in your face now. Don't speak: let us clasp hands."
But Joseph could not speak.
*******
I have a downloaded copy of this story, but for some reason I wanted to hold the real book in my hands. I had no idea such a physically fragile book would be available for loan, and I feel grateful to have it. But perhaps loaning it out is better than keeping it under lock and key. The book will be able to tell its story until all of its pages crumble to dust.