Under Pressure - Charmed, Chris
Okay, so this story goes out to ladybug218's little sister, karli4eva221 who's been battling illness...and as the youngin' who used to spend most of her life travel ling back and forth between home and doctors/hospitals, I understand the toll it takes and asked Jen if there was a ficlet that she might like.
So here it is. It's a charmed story, full of Chris angst. I tried to write happy sister story, but I am nothing but Chris's humble servant most of the time.
Under Pressure
There were a few things Chris was aware of as he orbed into the magic school with his Aunt Phoebe - he was running out of time to find whoever changed Wyatt and he wasn’t sure that if he stayed much longer in the past that he’d be able to convince himself to leave. He knew that he had to - well aware of the implications of there being two versions of him at one time - and that the future he faced would hopefully be much better. He knew all of this, but was still afraid that once he left, he wouldn’t see his mother or aunts again.
“You know, I might not have my empathic powers at the moment, but it doesn’t take a genius to see that you’re upset,” Phoebe stated as they made their way through the doors of the library.
Chris shrugged. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”
“Liar, liar, pants on fire,” Phoebe replied.
Chris entered into the library where his father and mother were engrossed in different books on demons. He glanced back at her and repeated, “I’m fine, Aunt Phoebe.”
“What are we fine about?” Piper asked, looking from her son to her sister.
Chris rolled his eyes and said, “It’s nothing, mom. Don’t worry about it.”
“Yeah, but see, I’m your mother. Sort of a given that I’ll worry about it,” Piper replied, rubbing her belly for emphasis.
Chris tried not to think about how weird this situation was - reminding himself it was no weirder than anything else that he had experienced since he returned - and sat down next to his father. He looked to him for help, but Leo seemed to be on the “make Chris share his feelings” bandwagon.
“You can talk to us, Chris. About anything,” Leo added.
“Actually, I can’t. Future consequences...ruining the world even more...blah, blah, blah.”
“Don’t blah, blah, blah me, mister. What’s wrong?” Piper asked.
“I’m just panicking because we haven’t figured things out yet. That’s all.”
Leo patted his shoulder. “We’re going to fix the future for both you and Wyatt, son. I promise.”
Chris nodded, trying to believe his father, but not quite able to. He knew his father was trying to fix things between them, working hard to make their future relationship better, but Chris had grown up enduring many of Leo’s infamous promises that were never kept. It might not have been fair to his father, but that wasn't something he could easily forget.
"I'm fine. I swear," Chris offered with as much sincerity as he possessed. When it didn't seem to appease his family, he reached for a book in an attempt to take the attention off himself.
It didn’t work.
“Chris, honey, you can’t keep this stuff bottled up,” Phoebe stated.
He glared at her and said, “You wanted to know why Aunt Paige was my favorite? This would be it.”
“So, you admit it, do you? She’s your favorite! I knew it!” Chris nodded and Phoebe waved her finger at him. She continued, “We’ll see about that. I have plenty of time to change the outcome of who is the coolest aunt.”
“Not at this rate you don’t.”
“Sue me for worrying about my nephew’s mental health.”
“Leave his mental health to me,” Piper replied. She stared at Chris as if she were studying him under a microscope and said, “Chris, you know you can talk to us if you want to, right?”
“Right.”
“And that no matter what we’re here for you?”
“Yeah.”
Piper shrugged and looked from Phoebe to Leo. “That’s good enough for me. Leave him alone.”
“But-“
“Leave. Him. Alone,” Piper said, her gaze directed at her sister.
Chris stood up and said, “You know, I think I remember learning about a small group of demons that came into power right around this time. I’m going to try to see if I can find anything.” He walked off without waiting for a response and hurried down one of the halls of the school. He knew it wasn’t the most subtle exit in history, but he had to get out of there. Watching his mother come to his defense, faux fighting with his aunt, and having his dad around...it was too much for him. He kept telling himself that it was all a dream, not something to trust, not something to get attached to.
The problem was that he was already attached. Chris felt himself getting too comfortable at the manor and around his family. He found himself believing that things would be different when he got back to the future. And belief wasn’t something he accepted in stride. He had learned to squash words like “hope” and “faith” from his vocabulary in favor of survival. He had used his memories as nothing more than a tool to defeat his brother and to save the world. And there he was…making new memories, enjoying his time in the past, and it felt wrong somehow as though he was letting everyone down.
That was his greatest fear. Not that Wyatt couldn’t be saved. He had long ago come to terms with the fact that going back in time was a last-ditch effort to save his brother, probably one that wouldn’t work. No, his greatest fear was that he wouldn’t be able to defeat Wyatt and it would be his fault - and all the good that his mother died fighting for would’ve been wasted.
Chris couldn’t let that happen. He would do whatever he had to do to protect his mother’s legacy. She mattered too much to him otherwise and he couldn’t allow himself to continue to get sidetracked by his family or spending time with them.
“Chris? Are you okay, sport?”
Chris turned around to see his father standing there. He couldn’t help but wonder how long Leo had been watching him. He sighed, “Dad, for the last time...”
“This is me. I know you don’t want to worry your mother or your aunts, but you can talk to me, Chris. You need to talk to someone.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It kind of is, son.”
Chris glanced around to make sure no one else was nearby and said, “I came here to do a job and I can’t keep-“
“You’re allowed to take some time for yourself, Chris.”
“No, I’m not. I’m here to fix things for Wyatt and the future. I’m not here to relive my childhood or get attached to people who might not be there when I get back...” his voice trailed off and he sighed, “And I’ve said too much...again.”
Leo placed his hand on Chris’s shoulder and said, “I wish I could take all your pain away and promise you that everything will work out, but I can’t.”
“I know.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that you’ve got to let someone in, Chris. You can’t carry this burden solely on your shoulders.”
“But it’s my problem...”
“It’s our problem.”
“I don’t want to let anyone down.”
“You couldn’t. You’re a good man. Your mother and I are proud of you.”
Chris glanced down the hall toward the library. He could hear his mother and aunt laughing at something and he smiled at the sound. He wondered aloud, “I keep wondering if things were better when you didn’t know who I was.”
“That's funny. I keep wondering if you would still be so hard on yourself if we had known sooner. I wish that I had known. I would’ve handled a lot of things differently,” Leo replied.
“I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I could handle it without revealing my identity.”
“I’m glad it came out. I’m glad you trusted your aunts enough to help you too.”
“Yeah, well, I didn't have much choice. There was the whole matter of you and mom...you know...and I was not looking forward to an eternity of nothingness,” Chris said with an exaggerated shudder. He met his father’s gaze and said, “We should get back to helping the girls. We need to find out who’s planning to change Wyatt.”
“And you’re...”
“I’m okay. Fine. Nearly perfect,” Chris replied. He started to walk back toward the library and called, “But thanks for asking, dad.”
{Fin}
So here it is. It's a charmed story, full of Chris angst. I tried to write happy sister story, but I am nothing but Chris's humble servant most of the time.
Under Pressure
There were a few things Chris was aware of as he orbed into the magic school with his Aunt Phoebe - he was running out of time to find whoever changed Wyatt and he wasn’t sure that if he stayed much longer in the past that he’d be able to convince himself to leave. He knew that he had to - well aware of the implications of there being two versions of him at one time - and that the future he faced would hopefully be much better. He knew all of this, but was still afraid that once he left, he wouldn’t see his mother or aunts again.
“You know, I might not have my empathic powers at the moment, but it doesn’t take a genius to see that you’re upset,” Phoebe stated as they made their way through the doors of the library.
Chris shrugged. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”
“Liar, liar, pants on fire,” Phoebe replied.
Chris entered into the library where his father and mother were engrossed in different books on demons. He glanced back at her and repeated, “I’m fine, Aunt Phoebe.”
“What are we fine about?” Piper asked, looking from her son to her sister.
Chris rolled his eyes and said, “It’s nothing, mom. Don’t worry about it.”
“Yeah, but see, I’m your mother. Sort of a given that I’ll worry about it,” Piper replied, rubbing her belly for emphasis.
Chris tried not to think about how weird this situation was - reminding himself it was no weirder than anything else that he had experienced since he returned - and sat down next to his father. He looked to him for help, but Leo seemed to be on the “make Chris share his feelings” bandwagon.
“You can talk to us, Chris. About anything,” Leo added.
“Actually, I can’t. Future consequences...ruining the world even more...blah, blah, blah.”
“Don’t blah, blah, blah me, mister. What’s wrong?” Piper asked.
“I’m just panicking because we haven’t figured things out yet. That’s all.”
Leo patted his shoulder. “We’re going to fix the future for both you and Wyatt, son. I promise.”
Chris nodded, trying to believe his father, but not quite able to. He knew his father was trying to fix things between them, working hard to make their future relationship better, but Chris had grown up enduring many of Leo’s infamous promises that were never kept. It might not have been fair to his father, but that wasn't something he could easily forget.
"I'm fine. I swear," Chris offered with as much sincerity as he possessed. When it didn't seem to appease his family, he reached for a book in an attempt to take the attention off himself.
It didn’t work.
“Chris, honey, you can’t keep this stuff bottled up,” Phoebe stated.
He glared at her and said, “You wanted to know why Aunt Paige was my favorite? This would be it.”
“So, you admit it, do you? She’s your favorite! I knew it!” Chris nodded and Phoebe waved her finger at him. She continued, “We’ll see about that. I have plenty of time to change the outcome of who is the coolest aunt.”
“Not at this rate you don’t.”
“Sue me for worrying about my nephew’s mental health.”
“Leave his mental health to me,” Piper replied. She stared at Chris as if she were studying him under a microscope and said, “Chris, you know you can talk to us if you want to, right?”
“Right.”
“And that no matter what we’re here for you?”
“Yeah.”
Piper shrugged and looked from Phoebe to Leo. “That’s good enough for me. Leave him alone.”
“But-“
“Leave. Him. Alone,” Piper said, her gaze directed at her sister.
Chris stood up and said, “You know, I think I remember learning about a small group of demons that came into power right around this time. I’m going to try to see if I can find anything.” He walked off without waiting for a response and hurried down one of the halls of the school. He knew it wasn’t the most subtle exit in history, but he had to get out of there. Watching his mother come to his defense, faux fighting with his aunt, and having his dad around...it was too much for him. He kept telling himself that it was all a dream, not something to trust, not something to get attached to.
The problem was that he was already attached. Chris felt himself getting too comfortable at the manor and around his family. He found himself believing that things would be different when he got back to the future. And belief wasn’t something he accepted in stride. He had learned to squash words like “hope” and “faith” from his vocabulary in favor of survival. He had used his memories as nothing more than a tool to defeat his brother and to save the world. And there he was…making new memories, enjoying his time in the past, and it felt wrong somehow as though he was letting everyone down.
That was his greatest fear. Not that Wyatt couldn’t be saved. He had long ago come to terms with the fact that going back in time was a last-ditch effort to save his brother, probably one that wouldn’t work. No, his greatest fear was that he wouldn’t be able to defeat Wyatt and it would be his fault - and all the good that his mother died fighting for would’ve been wasted.
Chris couldn’t let that happen. He would do whatever he had to do to protect his mother’s legacy. She mattered too much to him otherwise and he couldn’t allow himself to continue to get sidetracked by his family or spending time with them.
“Chris? Are you okay, sport?”
Chris turned around to see his father standing there. He couldn’t help but wonder how long Leo had been watching him. He sighed, “Dad, for the last time...”
“This is me. I know you don’t want to worry your mother or your aunts, but you can talk to me, Chris. You need to talk to someone.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It kind of is, son.”
Chris glanced around to make sure no one else was nearby and said, “I came here to do a job and I can’t keep-“
“You’re allowed to take some time for yourself, Chris.”
“No, I’m not. I’m here to fix things for Wyatt and the future. I’m not here to relive my childhood or get attached to people who might not be there when I get back...” his voice trailed off and he sighed, “And I’ve said too much...again.”
Leo placed his hand on Chris’s shoulder and said, “I wish I could take all your pain away and promise you that everything will work out, but I can’t.”
“I know.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that you’ve got to let someone in, Chris. You can’t carry this burden solely on your shoulders.”
“But it’s my problem...”
“It’s our problem.”
“I don’t want to let anyone down.”
“You couldn’t. You’re a good man. Your mother and I are proud of you.”
Chris glanced down the hall toward the library. He could hear his mother and aunt laughing at something and he smiled at the sound. He wondered aloud, “I keep wondering if things were better when you didn’t know who I was.”
“That's funny. I keep wondering if you would still be so hard on yourself if we had known sooner. I wish that I had known. I would’ve handled a lot of things differently,” Leo replied.
“I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I could handle it without revealing my identity.”
“I’m glad it came out. I’m glad you trusted your aunts enough to help you too.”
“Yeah, well, I didn't have much choice. There was the whole matter of you and mom...you know...and I was not looking forward to an eternity of nothingness,” Chris said with an exaggerated shudder. He met his father’s gaze and said, “We should get back to helping the girls. We need to find out who’s planning to change Wyatt.”
“And you’re...”
“I’m okay. Fine. Nearly perfect,” Chris replied. He started to walk back toward the library and called, “But thanks for asking, dad.”
{Fin}