Eostre's blessings
Happy Easter, Happy Passover, and I hope the rest of you had a good weekend.
Except maybe for the devout catholics among you.
I had the dubious privilege of singing at a catholic Good Friday service this week, and of course it would have been rude to leave. It was one of the more shocking examples of closemindedness I've been privy too. The place was nicely decorated, with the "look, we're not pagan at ALL" lodge-style church and the giant paintings with Jesus wearing a crown of thorns and dangling off the cross, also the paintings of a really big hand with a really big nail being put through it. Charming, really.
Y'know, I hear the main actor in the Passion of the Christ got struck by lightning while filming.
Anyways, part of the service went more or less like this:
"Now, let us pray. Let us pray that the jews, who jesus loved, will come to recognize him as their lord and savior."
(Let's pray that the jews don't burn in hell, cause jesus likes them.)
"Let us also pray that the heathens will also come into the light of the one true god."
(because, you know, those buddhist pacifists are just horrible people. Gandhi too. But we don't have to pray as hard, because jesus likes jews better than heathens.)
"And let us pray that, despite all of the horrible obstacles in their path, the athiests will come to accept jesus into their life."
(Athiests are horrible people who sit around going "Hmph. I don't believe in anything!" I know this because I went to the jehovah's witnesses for kids website. Yes, it exists. It's creepy. Who knew Tyrannosaurs were vegan?)
"Let us pray that our political leadership will be guided by christ and the light of god."
(Seriously, that one is too creepy for snarky comments. Brrr.)
"And now, let us remember all the sins we have committed over the last year, and all the good things we did not do, and ask the lord for forgiveness for them. And let us regret his loss, and accept responsibility for this - it is our fault, and we are horrible people for it."
(I'm paraphrasing a lot on this one - the woman would just NOT shut UP! Regardless, this one is creepy too. If you think that you're horrible people, what about all the jews, heathens, athiests, and politicians? Okay, I'll give you the last, but still. I remember people being shocked that my mom had raised us without religion, but we were still better-behaved than their own children. Don't worry about jesus gonna getcha, MOM's gonna getcha if you misbehave.)
In other thoughts, here's a little snippet explaining easter.
"Hey, did you hear Jesus rose from the dead?"
"OH SHIT HIDE THE EGGS"
"OH SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT"
"QUICK, PUT THEM UNDER RABBITS!"
"WHY?"
"SO HE WON'T STEAL OUR CHICKENS!"
... or really, because the pagan goddess Eostre got eaten by zombie jesus and he stole her holiday.
Catholicism does that a lot - "Hey, your holiday looks pretty cool." *whistles* *cleans fingernails* *suddenly grabs baseball bat and pummels* "Yoink!"
I wonder if World War 2 was because germans wanted presents on eight days of the year instead of just one.
They could call it... Panzerjesuskah.
"Eight tanks of jesuskah, eight tanks of joy; eight lashes with the whip for every jewish boy..."
So in other news, Rayna is officially awesome. It's been a while since I had a girlfriend; I had forgotten how nice it was, even taking the whole making out thing out of the equation. And I got lots of nice candy for easter.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOGAN! The big one one... yes, my little brother is eleven, and starting middle school at KP next year. Freaky, huh? I think when most of my friends from home who read this saw him the first time, he must have been six years old, or younger. Crazy stuff.
When did he get old?
I need to do laundry. I bet you really care about that, huh?
Anyways, now to do something equally unproductive.
Peace.
Except maybe for the devout catholics among you.
I had the dubious privilege of singing at a catholic Good Friday service this week, and of course it would have been rude to leave. It was one of the more shocking examples of closemindedness I've been privy too. The place was nicely decorated, with the "look, we're not pagan at ALL" lodge-style church and the giant paintings with Jesus wearing a crown of thorns and dangling off the cross, also the paintings of a really big hand with a really big nail being put through it. Charming, really.
Y'know, I hear the main actor in the Passion of the Christ got struck by lightning while filming.
Anyways, part of the service went more or less like this:
"Now, let us pray. Let us pray that the jews, who jesus loved, will come to recognize him as their lord and savior."
(Let's pray that the jews don't burn in hell, cause jesus likes them.)
"Let us also pray that the heathens will also come into the light of the one true god."
(because, you know, those buddhist pacifists are just horrible people. Gandhi too. But we don't have to pray as hard, because jesus likes jews better than heathens.)
"And let us pray that, despite all of the horrible obstacles in their path, the athiests will come to accept jesus into their life."
(Athiests are horrible people who sit around going "Hmph. I don't believe in anything!" I know this because I went to the jehovah's witnesses for kids website. Yes, it exists. It's creepy. Who knew Tyrannosaurs were vegan?)
"Let us pray that our political leadership will be guided by christ and the light of god."
(Seriously, that one is too creepy for snarky comments. Brrr.)
"And now, let us remember all the sins we have committed over the last year, and all the good things we did not do, and ask the lord for forgiveness for them. And let us regret his loss, and accept responsibility for this - it is our fault, and we are horrible people for it."
(I'm paraphrasing a lot on this one - the woman would just NOT shut UP! Regardless, this one is creepy too. If you think that you're horrible people, what about all the jews, heathens, athiests, and politicians? Okay, I'll give you the last, but still. I remember people being shocked that my mom had raised us without religion, but we were still better-behaved than their own children. Don't worry about jesus gonna getcha, MOM's gonna getcha if you misbehave.)
In other thoughts, here's a little snippet explaining easter.
"Hey, did you hear Jesus rose from the dead?"
"OH SHIT HIDE THE EGGS"
"OH SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT"
"QUICK, PUT THEM UNDER RABBITS!"
"WHY?"
"SO HE WON'T STEAL OUR CHICKENS!"
... or really, because the pagan goddess Eostre got eaten by zombie jesus and he stole her holiday.
Catholicism does that a lot - "Hey, your holiday looks pretty cool." *whistles* *cleans fingernails* *suddenly grabs baseball bat and pummels* "Yoink!"
I wonder if World War 2 was because germans wanted presents on eight days of the year instead of just one.
They could call it... Panzerjesuskah.
"Eight tanks of jesuskah, eight tanks of joy; eight lashes with the whip for every jewish boy..."
So in other news, Rayna is officially awesome. It's been a while since I had a girlfriend; I had forgotten how nice it was, even taking the whole making out thing out of the equation. And I got lots of nice candy for easter.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOGAN! The big one one... yes, my little brother is eleven, and starting middle school at KP next year. Freaky, huh? I think when most of my friends from home who read this saw him the first time, he must have been six years old, or younger. Crazy stuff.
When did he get old?
I need to do laundry. I bet you really care about that, huh?
Anyways, now to do something equally unproductive.
Peace.