ESTROGEN!
the goddess is a maiden, mother, and crone. but she is also a lover. not just to the god, but... all that seek union with her.
when i lay down naked in the snow illuminated by the light of a full moon, she was there to caress me.
i am returning to a campus of women, trannies, and genderqueer folk. mostly women.
i feel like i am metaphorically falling back into the snow, not sure of what to expect, just knowing that it will be beautiful somehow. i must have faith in myself and in the community i will rejoin. as a whole, mhc can be at times cold, stark, exclusive, mysterious, and frighteningly female. and how will i react - no let me rephrase - how will i respond to trying conditions.
mt holyoke was and will be a sanctuary from the outside world, parents, and gender standards. however, there is no excaping the wrath of self should i choose to inflict it. no one to grab the knife and hold me and kiss me until i cry uncontrollably... yet harmlessly. no one. because if i don't want to tell i simply won't.
i know the basics: do my laundry, hw, etc. in a timely manner, don't let my room get out of control, sleep at least 4 hours each night. exercise. get some sunlight. make a daily and weekly plan... etc. study effectively.
i'm most likely going to spend the night in other people's beds more than my own, until i can fall asleep at a decent hour. i need to teach myself to be healthy... enough.
damnit. i'm scared as fuck.
when i lay down naked in the snow illuminated by the light of a full moon, she was there to caress me.
i am returning to a campus of women, trannies, and genderqueer folk. mostly women.
i feel like i am metaphorically falling back into the snow, not sure of what to expect, just knowing that it will be beautiful somehow. i must have faith in myself and in the community i will rejoin. as a whole, mhc can be at times cold, stark, exclusive, mysterious, and frighteningly female. and how will i react - no let me rephrase - how will i respond to trying conditions.
mt holyoke was and will be a sanctuary from the outside world, parents, and gender standards. however, there is no excaping the wrath of self should i choose to inflict it. no one to grab the knife and hold me and kiss me until i cry uncontrollably... yet harmlessly. no one. because if i don't want to tell i simply won't.
i know the basics: do my laundry, hw, etc. in a timely manner, don't let my room get out of control, sleep at least 4 hours each night. exercise. get some sunlight. make a daily and weekly plan... etc. study effectively.
i'm most likely going to spend the night in other people's beds more than my own, until i can fall asleep at a decent hour. i need to teach myself to be healthy... enough.
damnit. i'm scared as fuck.