Checking in

[stormyb28]

It's been a while I know. This year has been so full of ups and downs I can barely hold on, let alone take the time to process and write it all down. Grad school has consumed my life. No I mean it truly has! My waking hours are saturated with thoughts of school and studying and paying for it all somehow. I find myself wistfully thinking of the

Comments

[nemesisbecoming]

Well, whether you're strong enough for the program or if you "have the chops" to make it there, I figure you're answering your questions yourself by still being there and using your energies to focus as you should be. That alone shows the maturity and the drive to get through this - albeit highly competitive though mundane - phase in your life.

So trite, so true... you'll look back and marvel at all you had to do during this period and really marvel at yourself that you got through it and moved on.

I remember when I used to run Cross Country in HS. Cross country is like racing but for a couple of miles up and down hills and woods and such. Yeah, you're running against other teams and teammates, but so unlike track, you're really trying to get your personal best - better than you were the race before. And it's the longest thing in the world while you're doing it. Up and down those damned hills. You turn a corner and there's this massive one you have to go through - ugh! And the whole time, you're having a conversation with yourself. God I'm tired! God this hurts! I can't do this. WTF?! Okay one more turn. FUCK! This hill. Okay, almost there. God I'm gonna pass out!... Just a constant back and forth with yourself - and it's like a torture. But then you see the straight way, the finish line. You came so far there's no way you let all that effort get lost. So you put your head down, you just put all you have into it. You go...!

We all need a balance. We are all trying to find ours. Nothing is forever and so very temporary. You won't be in school forever. Your social life will not always be like this. To get what we want out of life, sometimes we have to keep our head down and lean into that steep incline. You may not see them now since they're obscured by the trees around, but your family and friends are waiting for you at that finish line cheering you on and ready to celebrate your personal best.

...just a couple more hills. You'll see.

(I miss you, dude)

[stormyb28]

Hey there! Laughing.. I really didn't expect any response to this woe is me post. And surprise! I have two! I have missed you too. Man these hills are killing me. I keep wondering if someone/God/the fates/whatever will give a sista a break. (chuckles) In truth I think I am my own worst enemy. But I thank you sincerely for your words and support. It's easy to get lost in the quagmire of my mind and forget that I have friends cheering me on. Thank you for the reminder. It is greatly appreciated!
In other news.. I notice you are going thru quite a few changes yourself. I know I have been absent for quite sometime but just know that I am cheering for you as well.
(throwing you some love dude *smirk)