fic: Catalyst :: chapter two
Author's note: Before anything, I'd like to wish everyone a very happy holiday season. I know I've been especially scarce this past year or so but it really is from the bottom of my heart. I wish you all good cheer :)
Now, onto the chapter. It's quite long! Well, not as long as I've ever written for a single chapter (*snort* think 10K which was a glorious chapter I'm proud to say, ahem) but it's longer than I've written for one in a long time. Plus, I'm still trying to get over my pesky year-long writer's block. So, yes, here we are, and you're about to find out just what exactly this fic's about. Are you excited? I know I am. Please let me know if you guessed right in the comments, okay? Because I'm pretty sure a bunch of you will have a whiplash effect ;)
She’d hate him. She surely would. Call him a monster, all kinds of names, and she’d try to run. As far as possible. Futilely. It downright killed him that he'd have to contain her.
CHAPTER TWO
Later that evening, Seunghyun finally plucked enough courage to head down the hall from the empty dance studio where he'd been... well, he'd been drinking himself into a stupor, hoping the sick feeling in his stomach would intoxicate itself into oblivion. Unfortunately, now he was only a tad tipsy... just enough to feel the floating feeling but not enough to forget he still walked on solid ground. Or fancy tile-covered concrete, in this case.
He knew she was alone. The others had all trickled out, probably called off one by one as his dongsaengs plucked up the courage before him. he hadn't a clue even who had been assigned to whom - he hadn't asked, and neither had they, so Seunghyun guessed they'd all been eaten up by emotional turmoil. Come to think of it, Ji's smile in the cafeteria at lunch had looked a bit forced. Seunghyun had just been a tad too selfish to notice that then.
Her voice danced out of the studio, overlaid by some American singer's - he couldn't quite place the voice, although hers was a low, seductively heartwrenching lament that had been eating away at his gut for the past hour as he listened to her lone voice put sound and words to his torment even though he couldn't quite understand all the words she was singing. All sad songs, all lovely and absolutely perfect.
He hated to disturb her, but... what had to be done had to be done. He knocked, steeling himself.
"Mm?" he heard faintly before the music paused, the sudden silence oddly stifling.
Seunghyun twisted the knob, pushing the door open to lean awkwardly on the jamb. "Hi," he said, suddenly wishing he could be more eloquent.
She looked up at him from a spread-eagle position on the floor, craning her neck to look at him upside down. "Hi," she replied, frowning. "I thought everyone had left."
"No, I was..." He gestured vaguely.
"Ah." Awkward pause. "Did you want something?"
"Yeah. Um..." Seunghyun straightened, letting the door click shut behind him as he stepped fully into the room. He went to sit in front of her - well, in front of her head so technically one could call it behind her. "I need to talk to you, noona."
Bom pursed her lips, then sat up and twisted her body to face him fully. "What is it?" she asked, that frown still in place - perhaps thinking she was in trouble.
Seunghyun stared at her a good moment, his body humming with nerves and alcohol, and finally dropped his head into his hands. "Shit. You're going to think I'm nuts."
"You are," she teased wryly, then shrugged. "Try me."
"You're changing," he murmured to the floor, loathe to even lookat her and see her face as she began to see... to understand... "It's coming and you, me, none of us can stop it."
Blinking, she shook her head. "What are you talking about?"
Seunghyun forced his head to remain immobile. He needed to plow through. He could notlook up. "I'm going to help you through it. You're going to need -"
"What are you talking about?" Her voice had taken that odd edge, a catch, and Seunghyun swallowed hard. "Is this a joke?" she demanded.
"You're going to need me," he continued. "I'll show you what to do."
Bom burst out in a wild snicker, shot with fear, and stood up, towering over him. "You were right. You're nuts. Get out."
"I can't."
"Excuse me?"
Finally Seunghyun looked up at her, at her slightly dishevelled bun with the wild stray wisps sticking out, at her pale skin and the darkened circles under her eyes telling him how much time she didn't spend sleeping, at her thin figure dwarfed by her warm baggy clothes, and he found himself suddenly wanting to cradle her close.
Sajangnim had been right. It was close. Closer than he'd realised.
Christ. Shaking his head, he drew himself to his feet, hating when she stepped back. They'd never been especially close, but this she'd never done. She'd never been scared of him. It'll only get worse, he thought.
"You've been hungry lately," he said softly, more of a statement than a question. Her eyes flashed. "More than usual," he added. "Nothing sticks. You can't sleep. You're so damn tired but can't get a wink. Nothing helps. Your head hurts. It's like a slow heartbeat punching everywhere in slow motion. Your skin feels tight all over."
Eyes wide, Bom licked her lips and her breath left her on a whoosh as her back flattened against the wall of mirrors behind her.
Seunghyun sensed her panic acutely. Gently he encased her, his hands planted next to her head. "You eat your meat rare now," he continued. "Your entire body is sensitive nowadays. You get sick easily. You feel under the weather all the time. More tired."
She blinked, her mouth falling open.
"You feel like you don't belong," he pushed on softly. "Seems like everything moves so slowly, yet everyday feels like a blur." Lifting a hand, he brushed away a stray wisp. "You feel restless, like something's coming, but you can't understand it. It feels... big, bigger than you can comprehend. Bigger than your debut. You feel... lost. Between one world and another, and it feels like you have no power to stop it."
As he paused, gazing at her, searching her face, Bom swallowed and, when she spoke, her voice was raw, small... terrified. Of him. Of his words. Their truth. "H - how?" she demanded, her eyes searching his frantically. "How did you -"
Her hair was so soft, like silk, gliding through his fingers. Seunghyun sighed. "You're about to get very sick, Bom," he said hoarsely, unable to meet her eyes as he felt hers flitting over his face in confusion.
"I don't -"
"You feel it coming, though." At the catch in her breath, he looked up. And backed off.
She ducked away, shaking like a leaf as she attempted to pick up her things and leave. "I need to - I need to - you don't know anything - you can't - I should go," she babbled, finally letting out a small cry of frustration as her legs folded under her. The plastic pill cases she'd been trying to collect dropped from her trembling fingers. "Dammit," he heard her curse hollowly under her breath.
He'd hoped he wouldn't have to physically restrain her, and breathed a sigh of relief as he knelt down beside her. "I'm so sorry..." he murmured, reaching out to stroke her back soothingly. "I can't let you go."
At his words she flinched. "Why not," she demanded.
A moment passed as Seunghyun bent his head, gathering her in his arms, and breathed in her honeysuckle scent. His lungs expanded, a dose of regret hitting him. Voice thick with it, he replied, "You could die."
#
The shaking resumed, and he realised, horrified, that she had begun crying, abrupt shivers racking her. "Don't," he pleaded, gathering her more tightly against him. "Please don't."
"I can't - I can't s - s - stop," she stammered through the nervous attack.
"Shh..."
"What's happening to me?" she asked through clattering teeth. "Tell me. P - please... what's going on?"
Seunghyun swallowed hard around the lump of terror in his throat and turned his head toward her, his vision suddenly clouded. Fuck. He felt her involuntary pull within his veins, and cursed. Powerless... he felt so powerless.
She moved infinitesimally, sensing his turmoil. "Tabi?"
"You change is coming fast," he croaked, words awkward in his mouth now. She needed to know. She neededto understand. To be ready. "You're going to feel... so much pain. You need to be strong. Can you be strong, Bom? Be strong for me," he implored her.
"You're scaring me," she whispered, her fingers clasping him tightly despite her words.
He pulled away slowly, steeling himself, and finally looked her in the eye as he showed her...
She jerked back, a wordless cry escaping her, and began scrambling away as far as her legs would take her. Always with the look of horror. "If this is a joke..." she said haltingly, glancing toward the closed studio door behind her with fear.
The lock slid home. Shit, he hadn't wanted this.
Her breath caught as it did, sweat blooming on her skin even as she lifted her chin, the visage of defiance. "Let me out. This prank's over." She swallowed past her nerves. "You're disgusting, Seunghyun. For a second there I thought..."
"What?" he asked, only now standing up.
She squared her chin. "I thought you might... you might know what I'm..." She trailed off, frowning and blinking in confusion.
"I do," he said, palms up in a genuine show of peace as he stepped forward.
She wavered on her spot, pressing the heels of her hands against her temples. They wouldn't be of any help.
This is it, he thought. It had begun. He felt it vibrating in her blood, even from afar.
"No! Stay away," she whimpered as he approached, and she crawled sluggishly backward to ward him off. "Monster," she breathed through a wave of debilitating pain. "Stop this... stop this..."
Something in him broke at the pain laced in her voice as she pleaded with him. But he needed to be efficient. To... do what needed to be done. God help him. Seunghyun gathered her gently, laying her on the dance floor before crawling over her, locking his legs around hers to keep her from hurting herself. "Hold on, Bom," he whispered, brushing her hair out of her face. "Be strong..."
Dimly he wondered how the others were faring. They'd been lucky to survive, the five of them, but some never made it. He prayed the girls did. He prayed Bom did.
He had to force himself to be calm as her skin turned clammy, then cold. Colder. He had to hang on to sanity with both hands as she began thrashing against him, her tears soaking his cheek and her nails digging into his hands as he restrained her, her sobs ringing in his ears. "Shh... just let it happen... it'll be over soon."
And God save them both when it'd be his turn.
#
Finally the thrashing stopped. One minute he was fighting her tooth and nail trying to keep her from hurting herself, and the next he was rocking back on his heels, breathing deeply to catch his breath. The change was, however, not over.
Showtime.
Not thinking anymore, merely acting on instinct out of a pure driving need to keep her alive, he scored his wrist, ignoring the sharp, minute pain from the deep twin puncture wounds.
"Come on, Bom. Just a taste," he murmured, growing frantic when she didn't immediately respond to the touch of blood on her lips. "Just drink. Don't let go, Bom. I won't let you."
But she was so still. Her eyes, those damn tears pooled in the corners, stared up, unseeing. Glassy. She felt so cold. He felt it like a punch in the gut. He was losing her. "Fuck," he grunted, brushing at his tears with the back of his trembling hand in frustration. "Fuck."
With renewed urgency he bent back over her, smearing some of his blood onto his index finger and pushing it past her lips. Again and again he repeated the process, studying her vitals each time with growing desperation. "Don't you dare die on me, Bom. Don't you dare die on me. I'll go and hunt you down in the depths of hell itself if I need to, and I'll give you a world of hell for it." He smeared more blood on his digit, uncaring as the excess dripped off his wrist to pool on the floor.
"You can't die," he whispered now, more like a prayer than a demand. With his free hand, stained with his own dripping blood, he caressed her face, so pale and angelic hanging on by a thread. "I wouldn't forgive myself... come on..." he begged, "pull through, babe."
She came to hard and fast, latching onto his finger and sucking in great urgent pulls, moaning desperately when he took it away after a moment's surprise to replace it with his wrist. Relaxing contentedly, she subsided, latching on with a sigh a pleasure.
And he... he... God, he cried like a fucking baby. "That's right," he blubbered through the dark fog of subsiding adrenaline as he cradled her head weakly, "take all you need."
#
She eased off some time later - was it hours? Days? Seunghyun sluggishly rubbed the sleep from his eyes, then gazed down at her dozing form, so vibrant with life and colour now... so alive with hisblood. Sealing the punctures with his tongue, he lay back down beside her.
"Is this it?" she mewled tiredly, burrowing into his side. "It wasn't so bad."
He rubbed his cheek, the scraping sound of his whiskers making him wince. God, he felt like he'd been run over by a bus - he wondered idly if this was normal. "No," he croaked out. Even his voice sounded like he'd eaten gravel. "There's..." he cleared his throat, "there's more."
And how. He remembered that it had felt like agony personified. Every nerve ending coming alive at once, atoms realigning, all senses suddenly, assuredly aware. Too much so. Painfully so.
"So..." she trailed off. Opened her eyes, searched his profile. "I'm a v... a vampire?" she asked quietly. Warily. "I just drank your..." She trailed off, touching her lips in confusion.
Shit. Should he feel this faint afterwards? He had a niggling feeling the building was empty right now so it wasn't like he could nip off for a Q&A with... whoever would usually be around at this time. He bet everyone had been sent home early due to the special circumstances. "Ah..." Focus, focus. He blinked, clearing his vision. "We don't call ourselves that," he replied when the fog lifted.
"So then what do you call yourselves?"
Shit, that fog was a clingy bastard. "You're still human," he answered distractedly, pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes, "but... more. Everyone has this recessive gene within them, but hardly anyone ever triggers it. You have been, for the past few years. And now..." He shook his head, testing his vision. "You pushed your limits so far that some chains in your body's DNA broke, and the recessive gene snapped to action, making you... evolve I guess is the right word. And now here you are." He turned his head sideways, seeing her thoughtful frown. "You're taking this exceptionally well," he remarked.
Better than he had...
That was when it hit her. Crying out, she jacknifed, thrashing on the floor as the torturing change tackled her. Slower, Seunghyung reached out, his vision clouding once again as her sweaty body arched and twisted this way and that, attempting to escape the agony the change was putting her through.
And there was nothing he could do but hug her, providing a small comfort in the midst of her battle with her life.
Small comfort, my ass. There was no comfort to be found in pain. There was no comfort to be found in the nothingness that was sure to hit her once she fully understood what she'd blindly gotten herself into. There was no comfort in waking up cold in your sweaty clothes with a fucking rattling ceiling fan for sole companion.
But what the fuck else could he do? He could just stay with her.
#
Finally, finally,she was still.
Seunghyun rolled away, panting, not liking the way his vision kept going haywire on him at all. It had only happened once before, and he'd been in the throes of what Bom had just experienced. Evidently without the retching. She was amazing.
So then what the fuck was wrong with him?
Rolling on his side, Seunghyun reaching into his back pocket, groaning when he encountered nothing but his ass cheek. Glancing back, he spied his winter coat by the door where he'd left it along with his back, and sighed.
One, two... three. He heaved himself up by sheer willpower, horrified when he felt himself waver in place with uncharacteristic dizziness. But then he had to get to his damn coat, didn't he. So he put his shaky legs to good use, and in time got there the worse for wear.
He literally dove for his phone like it was a lifeline. Glancing at Bom's sleeping form behind, with the reassuring lift and fall of her chest, he punched in the first number he could think of.
"Yo," Teddy's goodnatured drawl greeted him.
Seunghyun cut the crap. "Tell me I'm supposed to feel like something the cat dragged in," he croaked, letting himself sink against the wall.
There was a rustle, as though his hyung had straightened like a ramrod. When he spoke next it was with a wariness that didn't become him. "When's the last time you fed, my man?"
Seunghyun dragged a trembling hand through his matted hair. "I don't know... two months? Three?" He'd kept delaying, and delaying some more. He fucking hated the dependency. Funny how he'd just naturally picked up smoking instead. He was a walking, talking, breathing contradiction.
"Three? Jesus Mary Murphy, kid, what the fuck! You're goddamn lucky to be alive much less fucking turning someo-"
Seunghyun dragged the phone away from his ear until the last "you suicidal dumbfuck" had ebbed out. Teddy evidently felt like he wasn't being listened to because he was silent a moment when Seunghyun put the contraption back against his ear. Or maybe he was just cooking up more of the same drivel.
"So what-" he began.
"You need to feed, that's what you need to do. And not on Bom, of fucking course."
"I wasn't going to-"
"Oh!" Teddy barked out sarcastically. "He has brains! At last! Wonder where they've been for the past three months!" He made a disgusted sound. "I'm telling Hyunsuk hyung. Jesus fucking Christ." Teddy hung up on him, most likely to call the president immediately.
Seunghyun pressed End, letting his arm drop with a sigh. Staring at Bom who slept on untroubled, he felt like the worst sort of idiot. Jesus fucking Christ, indeed.
His phone trilled. Glancing down, he blanched farther. Shit. Pressing Talk, he lifted his arm...
"Is it true?" his president demanded, deceptively bucolic.
"I..."
"You put both of your lives in danger tonight... I hope you realise that."
"I... yes." Yes, of course he did. What a mess.
Silence on the other end, then a long sigh. "I'm sending a driver over. You call someone for your little problem. We'll talk about this tomorrow. You've deceived me, keun Seunghyun."
Seunghyun bowed his head by habit, belatedly realising the futility - it wasn't like the president would see, or care. "Yes, sajangnim... What about Park Bom?"
"She is none of your concern anymore."
"Yes, sajangnim."
The line went dead. Seunghyun pressed End, staring at nothing at all. He had to make another call, and this one made his mouth twist unhappily, but what had to be done... had... to be done. Absently he focused on the phone, punching the digits from memory.
"Noona? Hey, yeah it's been a while... Are you free right now?"